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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251825">...where no one has gone before</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandmann/pseuds/Sandmann'>Sandmann</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alignment [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Interactive Fiction, Medical Procedures, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tarsus IV, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, Violence, medical writing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:15:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandmann/pseuds/Sandmann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is <b>Part two</b> of the <em>Alignment Series</em>.<br/>You are a Starfleet Cadet as well as a Resident with Starfleet Medical.<br/>You are about to start your third-year internship in space.<br/>This story picks up right at the end of <b>To boldly go...</b>, so I recommend you read that story first!</p><p>The rape/non-con content is not very explicit but I still felt I had to tag it here. There will be additional warnings at the beginning of each chapter, if necessary.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk &amp; Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk &amp; Reader, Leonard "Bones" McCoy &amp; Reader, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alignment [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Collection of Beloved Inserts</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yet again - a huge <b>thank you</b> goes out to my wonderful friend and partner in crime <b>SHTWSPNSH</b>: Thank you for your constant support, your beta magic, your words of wisdom and truth when I need to hear them. Without you I would not be where I am today. ❤</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are at home during your summer break.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome back to the story of Dr. Insert!</p><p>Originally I wanted to start posting once  I had a few more chapters ready to share with you.<br/>But the world is a crazy place right now, and if my story can help ONE person to get through quarantine/social distancing/self isolation/working on the front lines a little bit easier, it's worth to put it out in the world as soon as possible and not as planned a little later.<br/>Since it is still very much a work in progress there is no definite chapter count to this story yet, also I might add more tags as the story progresses.</p><p>This might mean that you will have to wait a little longer for the following chapters, since many of them  are not yet written and/or edited, but I hope you will bear with me until then!<br/>Stay safe, stay at home!</p><p>And now... let us get back to our favorite Reader. ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You stared at the clock on the wall. 4:30 am.</p><p>You had been tossing and turning around in bed for the past few hours. It was your last day back home, you were going back to San Francisco in the morning.</p><p>Your third year at Starfleet Academy was going to start and you were going to board the <em>Enterprise</em> later that day. Even though you didn’t like being in space you were looking forward to leaving Earth for many reasons.</p><p>With a sigh you pushed the image of a certain southern doctor out of your head.</p><p>You had been convinced that there was something more going on between you and him, and you were still feeling so embarrassed about how wrong you had read the entire situation.</p><p>You had tried to forget how each of his touches had elicited sparks, how his gaze had been able to send shivers running down your spine. Forget about how comforted you had felt in his presence. How much at home.</p><p>You had tried to forget how the world had stopped turning when you kissed him; his lips on yours, soft, warm and, for the briefest of moments, welcoming.</p><p>You were angry with yourself for falling for him so hard. And the fact that you still had feelings for him, despite everything that had happened, didn’t make it any easier.</p><p>The more thought you gave it (and a lot of your thoughts were wandering in that direction), the more you convinced yourself that Len and Jim must have been in a relationship.</p><p>You began to wonder how you had not seen it earlier. The way Len cared for the younger man; the way Jim trusted him implicitly.</p><p>It was the only thing that made sense to you.</p><p>There had been so much confusion on Len’s face after you had kissed him… And with Jim right there, next door!</p><p>Len had been nothing but nice and caring and you had read so much more into his behavior.</p><p>Looking out of your childhood bedroom, you could see the first light of day illuminating the familiar landscape.</p><p>You got dressed, put on your running shoes, and left the house silently, careful not to wake your family.</p><p>When you stepped outside you could already smell the sea breeze. You fell into a light jog and made your way to the closest beach.</p><p>Running had been your escape during the past weeks.</p><p>When you had arrived back home after this dreadful last weekend at the Academy, you had been an emotional wreck.</p><p>The reality of what Andrew had done to you had caught up with you within the first few days.</p><p>He had raped you.</p><p>No matter how hard you tried, you were not able to deceive yourself anymore. </p><p>You felt filthy and stained. But most of all, you felt ashamed.</p><p>The bruises on your body had faded quickly with the help of the dermal regenerator you had <em>borrowed</em> from Starfleet Medical.</p><p>The stiffness and pain had eased and by the end of the Summer, there were no more visible traces of your encounter with Andrew.</p><p>What remained was the pain <em>inside</em>, the shame and the humiliation.</p><p>You couldn’t sleep through the first few nights. Only when you started to go on long runs on the beach were you able to exhaust yourself to a point where sleep came easily.</p><p>Your thoughts would stop spinning through the fog in your head, and when the burning of your muscles took over, you were able to shake the feeling of numbness that had settled within you.</p><p>Andrew had tried to call you several times, but you were not ready to talk to him. Not now. Not ever.</p><p>When he didn’t take your silence as a cue to stop calling, you had thrown your comm angrily into the sea.</p><p>When your parents had welcomed you back and saw the state you were in, they were concerned. You told them that you and Andrew had broken up, but you kept the details about why to yourself.</p><p>They had been surprised at first about the turn your relationship had taken, but eventually, they stopped pushing you for explanations and accepted the new status quo.</p><p>According to your father, he’d "happily pay the man a visit with his favorite shotgun.”</p><p>Your mother, it seemed, was just glad to have her daughter back home.</p><p>“Sweetie, I know how much a broken heart can hurt, but you have got to eat something!”</p><p>She had cooked all your favorite meals within the first week of your arrival, but all you could manage to do was poke at the food and have a few halfhearted bites.</p><p>She wanted to be there for you, to comfort you. And you wanted her to. So badly. She had always been your person of trust and you knew that she would listen to you, but you were not ready to share.</p><p>Even though you knew that it had been Andrew’s doing, you felt too ashamed to admit to her what had happened. You could not let her in on your failure. Not her, nor anyone else.</p><p>How had you let him treat you the way he had?  Why hadn’t you stopped him?  Broken up with him sooner?</p><p>That was the hardest part- accepting that you had been the one who allowed it to happen.</p><p>You could have prevented it. But you had stayed with Andrew, longer than you knew was good for you.</p><p>What Andrew had done was not right. And rationally, you knew that this behavior was inexcusable. But there was this small voice in your head that kept pointing out that you had not stopped him either.</p><p>It always takes two.</p><p>So you kept silent and tried to push every memory of the past months away.</p><p>Including those of Len.</p><p>You withdrew into yourself and spent a lot of time on the beach and in the sea, either running or just sitting there and allowing the wind to blow your thoughts out of your head, or the waves to wash all your conflicted emotions away.</p><p>One evening your father followed you to the beach. He came up to where you were sitting in the sand, observing the horizon.</p><p>He stood next to you for a while before he began to talk. </p><p>“Honey, I know life has not been treating you well...”</p><p>“Dad, I am fine!”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me! Have you forgotten that I am your father? I can tell that you are not fine.”</p><p>He sat down, reached out for your hand, and squeezed it lightly.</p><p>“But you will be.”</p><p>He smiled at you, and you tried to smile back.</p><p>“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, and you don’t have to tell me. All I know is that you are a strong, beautiful woman, and a kick-ass doctor.”</p><p>He paused and looked at you, then added, “And no, I am not saying this just because you are my daughter.”</p><p>You chuckled at the playful and yet proud tone in his voice.</p><p>“It is about time you remembered how strong you are and start pulling yourself out of that hole you’ve been hiding in. I know you can do it. And <em>you </em>know it too.”</p><p>You swallowed and blinked away a tear.</p><p>“Also, I never really liked Andrew.”</p><p>That surprised you. “You didn’t? I thought he was the ‘son-in-law you always wished for’?”</p><p>“Nah,” your dad shook his head. “He has always been a bit too much for me. Too ambitious, too full of himself... Too fake.  And he didn’t eat meat. I mean, what kind of man doesn’t eat meat?”</p><p>You smiled at him fondly.</p><p>“I only liked him cause he made you happy, kiddo. But the moment that changed, he lost all my respect and trust. You deserve better, and as a father, it kills me to see the damage he’s done to you.”</p><p>For a second, you were afraid he somehow knew about the abuse you suffered at Andrew’s hands. That maybe you missed a bruise or cut during the healing process and the evidence of your trauma was still in plain view of others.</p><p>But then you realized that your father’s gaze was directed towards your eyes. The windows to your soul. And no matter how much you tried to hide it, that man could always see right through your facades and emotional walls.</p><p>Feeling self-conscious and exposed, you quickly looked away.</p><p>Your father reached out and took your hand into his own, and you had to fight the instinct to pull it back.</p><p>“Listen, sweetheart. You don’t need a man to define you. You never have. But when and if the day comes that you’re ready to let someone else in, I fully believe the perfect man is out there, just waiting for you to find him.”</p><p>You let out a long sigh. He was right. You <em>had </em>already found the perfect man. He just happened to be gay and in love with someone else...</p><p>“And he damned-well better eat meat,” your father finished, then ruffled your hair affectionately, breaking the serious spell that had fallen over the two of you.</p><p>You smirked and gave him a playful nudge with your elbow, earning a hearty chuckle in return. You had nearly forgotten how much you loved that sound.</p><p>“So, what do you say, hon? Think we should get you and your broken heart back to the house and start patching it back together with some of your mom’s famous pasta?”</p><p>For the first time in a long time, you let out a genuine laugh, and it felt wonderful. An impossible weight was lifted from your shoulders, and you discovered that you could breathe again.</p><p>This talk had been a turning point for you.</p><p>You were able to accept the fact that you couldn’t change what had happened to you.</p><p>What you had <em>allowed </em>to happen to you.</p><p>All you could do was pick up the pieces and move on with your life.</p><p>And never let anything like it happen ever again.</p><p>Andrew didn’t deserve one more thought being wasted on him.</p><p>So you wrapped up your memories, put them in a box and buried them deep down in your mind, far away and out of reach.</p><p>You were not allowing Andrew to hold power over you anymore.</p><p>From that evening on, you were able to sleep better. If it was thanks to the conversation with your dad or maintaining your nightly running schedule, you didn’t know. But it didn’t really matter.</p><p>When you returned from your run this morning, it was 6 am. Your mom was already in the kitchen preparing an early breakfast so you could eat something before you had to leave for the shuttle port.</p><p>While you stood in the shower you thought, not for the first time, that getting physical distance between you and everything that had happened felt like a damned good idea.</p><p>Even if spending a year in space meant that you had to postpone your fourth and last year of residency until your return to Earth.</p><p>What was one more year in the great scheme of things?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know... no Bones in this one. But he will be in the story, promise.<br/>What do you think of the opening to this story?<br/>If you can find the time, please leave a comment and let me in on your thoughts!<br/>I hope to be able to post again soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Boarding the Enterprise</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome aboard the <em>Alignmnet</em> ! 😉<br/>Get ready for takeoff.<br/>(I suggest to (re)read chapter 18 of <b>To boldly go...</b> before continuing here...)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you boarded the <em>Enterprise</em> together with 17 other third-year cadets later that day, your duffle bag hanging over your shoulder, you could not deny that you were a little excited.</p><p>You had never been on board an actual starship, and the Fleet’s Finest was very impressive.</p><p>Jim Kirk was the Captain of the <em>Enterprise,</em> and even though you knew (well, you hoped) that he would not engage with you personally, you felt safe on a ship that was under his command.</p><p>How could you not after he saved his entire crew from certain death and inadvertently became the Fleet’s poster child for success? As a third-year cadet, nonetheless.</p><p>With Jim at the helm, you had nothing to fear. Well, aside from the fact that you would be floating through space in a tin can... But best not to dwell on that.</p><p>The quartermaster showed you to your accommodations on board.</p><p>It was not much, a few square meters with a single bed, a small counter with a replicator on top of it, and a tiny bathroom with a sonic shower, but you were glad that you didn’t have to share with one of your fellow cadets.</p><p>You dropped your bag onto the bed before rejoining the others and heading to the mess hall where the first officer, Mr. Spock, was awaiting you.</p><p>“Welcome on board the <em>Enterprise,</em>” he greeted stoically. </p><p>He stood in front of your little group, arms crossed behind his back.</p><p>“My name is Commander Spock and I am your First Officer. Over the course of the next few months, you will pass through various stations on board this ship. As part of your practical training, it is essential to get to know all divisions on a starship and understand how they interlock and work together.</p><p>“I will now take you to your first deployment location. You will report to the Commander in charge. Any questions regarding your internship shall be addressed directly towards them or myself.”</p><p>He turned around and headed out the door.</p><p>“If you’ll please follow me.”</p><p>***</p><p>When Jim opened the door of his ready room and raced out, he nearly crashed into the security officer who had handed him the updated crew lists a few moments ago.</p><p>“Is everything alright, Captain?” The officer inquired, alarmed.</p><p>“Perfectly fine. I uh... Just figured I should probably go catch up and welcome the new cadets in person! Do you know if they’ve boarded the ship yet?”</p><p> “Yes, sir. Commander Spock is already showing them to their stations.”</p><p>
  <em>Damn that pointy-eared Vulcan and his efficiency.</em>
</p><p>“Wonderful...” he muttered beneath his breath.</p><p>Jim sped on and headed for the turbo lift as he shouted back over his shoulder, “I’ll be back before take-off,” and left a rather confused looking officer behind.</p><p>Jim stepped into the lift, waited for the prompt, then announced “Medbay” before feeling the ground drop out from beneath his feet as the machine whisked him away to the appropriate floor.</p><p>***</p><p>There were a lot of crew members walking up and down the corridors, each of them standing at attention and greeting their First Officer. <em>Your</em> First Officer.</p><p>You entered the engine room where Mr. Scott, the Chief Engineer, greeted you cheerfully.</p><p>“Ah! Guid efternuin, everyone! Mr. Spock, we’re runnin' the last checks on the system of this beauty afair we’re headin' out.” He looked down on the PADD he held in hand.</p><p>“As you were, Mr. Scott.”</p><p>“Right, then. Cadets Rose, Price and Jones, ye’re wi’ me.”</p><p>The named cadets stepped forward and you continued your tour with Mr. Spock. He guided you through different hallways, up a turbo lift, and around a few corners.</p><p>You took in your surroundings, people walking around everywhere, an air of excitement lingering over the decks.</p><p>By the time you stopped next, you were completely and utterly lost and had no idea how to find your way back to the mess hall, let alone to your quarters.</p><p>The door in front of you chimed open and you saw the hustling that was going on in the Medbay of the ship.</p><p>You were surprised to see how big it was. But then, it had to be since the <em>Enterprise</em> was built to hold up to 5000 people. A small town.</p><p>As far as you could see there were eight biobeds in the main area, divided by white curtains. In the back, there were entrances to at least two more rooms.</p><p>You let your eyes wander over the nurses, busily organizing the equipment and stashing away supplies when you heard a voice raised over the noise.</p><p>“You just take your own sweet time with this, woman. It’s not as if we’re headin’ out into the vastness of space any time soon. Damn it, this Medbay is a <em>war-zone</em>!”</p><p>
  <em>Oh dear God...</em>
</p><p>A very familiar figure came stomping towards you with a frown on his face.</p><p>“This is Dr. McCoy, the Chief Medical Officer of the <em>Enterprise</em>,” you heard Mr. Spock introduce Len.</p><p>You wished an airlock would open right now and suck you out into the cold embracing arms of space.</p><p>
  <em>This was not happening. </em>
</p><p>You stared at Leonard in disbelieve.</p><p>He stopped next to Spock and let his gaze sway over your group in dismay. You were considering your options of getting out of Medbay unnoticed when his eyes met yours.</p><p>
  <em>Damn. </em>
</p><p>They were every bit as beautiful as you remembered and had tried to forget about.</p><p>Len was staring at you in shock, the frown giving way to a blank expression while you were not able to divert your gaze from him either.</p><p>“… Dr. McCoy?” Spock’s voice prompted, pulling Len out of the spell, and you let your eyes drop quickly when his attention shifted away from you.</p><p>One eyebrow raised in irritation, Mr. Spock repeated, “As I was saying, these are the third-year cadets, Doctor. Perhaps you should consult your listing for those who will be joining your medical staff.”</p><p>“Ah, yes. Right, Mr. Spock. Uhm…” Len eventually looked down at his PADD and tapped on the screen. “Cadets Richardson, Baker and Flores.”</p><p>You let out a relieved breath. At least you didn’t have to start working in Medbay. <em>Yet.</em></p><p>Since Leonard was not saying anything else, Mr. Spock continued. “Very well then. We shall proceed.” </p><p>“Captain,” you heard Spock greet Jim on his way out.</p><p>The cadets around you stood at attention but were dismissed by the man who was leaning, slightly out of breath, in the doorway before you could join in their motion.</p><p>He nodded at you with a tight smile when you passed him.</p><p>After you had left, Len glared at Jim as he stood there sheepishly, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.</p><p>He managed to eek out a “Surprise?” along with an apologetic smile.</p><p>Leonard rolled his eyes and grumbled, “You couldn’t have told me ‘bout this any earlier, could you now?”</p><p>“Bones, I’m sorry. I knew I recognized her name from somewhere, but it didn’t occur to me that I had read it on...”</p><p>“Save it, kid. The damage is already done.”</p><p>He then turned towards Christine, who was passing by with a box in her hands.</p><p>“Nurse Chapel, make yourself useful and show these cadets around. I’ll be in my office. Nurse Reed, stop gapin’ like a fish on land and finish doin’ whatever the hell it is you’re supposed to be doin’!”</p><p>Len stepped into his office with Jim in tow.</p><p>“Cheer up!” Jim smiled at his best friend. “It’s not as if this is an outbreak of some rare alien disease…”</p><p>“You’re right. It’s worse.”</p><p>Bones started to rearrange the items on his desk forcefully, not looking up.</p><p>“Come on, Bones. Just talk to her!”</p><p>“There’s nothin’ to talk about, Jim.”</p><p>“Yeah, right…” Jim sat down on Leonard’s desk.  “I mean, why bother with an adult discussion when you can just terrorize your nursing staff instead?”</p><p>He teased as he grabbed one of the medical scanners off the desk and started to play around with it in his hands.</p><p>“Give me that before you electrocute yourself!” Leonard grunted, yanking the scanner out of Jim’s hands. “And get off my desk. They invented chairs for a reason.”</p><p>Jim crossed his arms defiantly and stayed put. “And men invented the ‘apology’ for a reason. For exact moments like this when you screw up, and all it’ll take is a few words to dig you back out of the hole again. Why are you not jumping at this chance, man?”</p><p>Bones sat down on his chair and sighed. “It is not that simple, Jim.”</p><p>“Why not? Don’t tell me she’s not worth debasing yourself over, cause that woman made you <em>hum</em>, Bones. In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you happier.”</p><p>“Yeah, well... Hope you didn’t get too used to it, cause this right here?” He motioned at his own weary and annoyed face with a careless wave of his hand. “This is the real me when my head’s not in the clouds.”</p><p>“Don’t I know it,” Jim grumbled, fighting the urge to rub the side of his neck where Grumpy Bones had a tendency to jab him with hypos. “My point is, you both obviously have feelings for each other, and this time, neither of you can run away.”</p><p>Len dropped his head into his hands with a frustrated groan. “That’s exactly the problem, Jim!”</p><p>The captain frowned down at him.</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“I tried to call her afterwards, alright? Repeatedly,” Bones snapped at him, raising his head to fix sincere eyes on his overly-optimistic friend. “She never replied to any of the messages I left. She doesn’t want anything to do with me, and now we’re trapped on this God-forsaken tin can together for who knows how long!”</p><p>“Hey, don’t go blaming my ship for your intimacy problems.”</p><p>“Speakin’ of... Shouldn’t you be on the bridge, getting' ready to fly it or somethin’?”</p><p>“She’s not goin’ anywhere without me at the helm. And I’m not leaving here till we finish this conversation.”</p><p>“Consider it finished then. The sooner we get started, the sooner it’ll end and we can go our separate ways again.”</p><p>“Sounds to me like you actually <em>enjoy </em>being miserable, Bones.”</p><p>“I do not!” Leonard raised his voice angrily. “I know you don’t believe in no-win scenarios, kid, but this... It ain’t something you can fix. And even if by some miracle she <em>was </em>willing to work things out, I’m going to be her superior officer again.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“So?! I am the CMO of this goddamned ship, for Christ's sake! Who knows how many rules we’d be breaking.”</p><p>“Five,” Jim replied instantly. “No, wait... Six. But who’s counting, right? It’s not like I’m going to report you to the Admiralty for falling in love. Things are different out in the black, Bones. These ships were built for long-range missions. We’ve got thousands of crew members on board. Do you really think they’re all expected to stay single and celibate until we get back to Earth?”</p><p>“Of course not, but...”</p><p>“But nothing, man. If Spock and Uhura can make it work, then so can the two of you.”</p><p>“Did you just compare me to the green-blooded hobgoblin?” Leonard growled. “You better get out of my Medbay before I decide to complete your vaccination status.  Pretty sure you’re still missin’ some of the required booster hypos. In fact, I don’t think you’ve had your full physical yet this year...”</p><p>Jim practically leapt off the desk and made his way to the door, out of the good doctor’s reach.</p><p>“Alright, I’m going, I’m going! Just think about it, will ya? Oh, and by the way... She’s been assigned to cabin 245. Good luck!”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Your mind was in an uproar and you found it hard to breathe. You felt slightly dizzy as you stumbled along behind Spock with the rest of the cadets while you made your way to the security division.</p><p>Of course, Len would be on the <em>Enterprise</em>. How could you not have seen it coming? Naturally, he was Jim’s CMO.</p><p>Where else if not ON the <em>Enterprise</em> would he be serving his time? With Jim.</p><p>Sometimes your synapses were firing so slow.</p><p>The <em>Enterprise</em> hadn’t left Earth’s orbit yet. Maybe there still was a chance for you to get off the vessel and get onto a different ship.</p><p>You missed most of Spock’s speech about how the work of the security officers was crucial to the safety of the ship and crew, and you didn’t get the name of the officer in charge.</p><p>Only when you heard a tall man with broad shoulders in a red shirt calling out your last name were you pulled out of your not-very-elaborated escape plans.</p><p>Suddenly you felt the floor vibrate slightly, then Jim’s voice was carried through the ship via the comm system.</p><p>“This is your captain speaking. Welcome onboard the <em>Enterprise</em>! We have left the docking station and are headed towards the Beta Quadrant. It’s going to take a while to get there, so lean back, relax and enjoy the ride! Kirk out.”</p><p>So much for leaving.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter!<br/>If you have the time, please let me in on your thoughts and leave a comment! I love hearing from you.</p><p>I hope you are all doing ok out there, where ever you are in the world!<br/>Be safe. Stay at home. (If you can)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are part of the Security division and the Medbay tries to contact you... Also it is revealed what the <em>redshirts</em> in the Security division do all day.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had way too much fun writing this... it got a little out of hand, so I had to cut here and there and take out a few bits and pieces... </p>
<p>Go easy on me when it comes to the technicalities in this chapter. I did not check any available blueprints of the Enterprise, I simply made up what I needed to be there for the story... Also, I am not an expert when it comes to ranks in Starfleet. I did some research but I might be getting things wrong.<br/>I decided it is good enough for my story's purposes though. </p>
<p>I hope you like the way the chapter turned out.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While assigned to the Security Division, most of your days consisted of working out alongside the other cadets and security officers. A certain level of fitness needed to be obtained to protect the ship and the crew out here in the black.</p>
<p>And to obtain this level of fitness, you had to report to the gym every morning at 0600h at the beginning of your shift to start your day with a workout.</p>
<p>It felt like some sort of military boot camp, and you were pretty sure the “red shirts” were making your life and that of your fellow cadets harder than strictly necessary.</p>
<p>But you were not going to complain. The exhaustion gained from all those workouts helped you keep your thoughts from spinning.</p>
<p>You had trouble adjusting to the everlasting night on board the <em>Enterprise</em>. You would have thought that with having worked night shifts for such a long time your biorhythm would be able to adapt much quicker, but the lack of actual daylight in space factored in more than anticipated.</p>
<p>Your body felt tired during the artificial daytime and you had trouble sleeping through the nights. The lighting of the ship was the only thing creating the illusion of a circadian rhythm, but that didn’t help you much.</p>
<p>Most of your fellow cadets shared your troubles, except they had received medication from Medbay to help them adjust to the new situation.</p>
<p>You had successfully been avoiding running into Len by staying clear of Medbay up to now and you were not planning on changing that just to get some sleeping pills.</p>
<p>Instead, you picked your routine of going on a run before bedtime back up.</p>
<p>Thanks to your boot camp, you were familiar with most of the gyms that were accessible to the crew and had discovered that there was an actual running track in the one on deck 5.</p>
<p>You missed the daylight, the wind, the sea, the open space, the sky.</p>
<p>You had been particularly fond of the starlit sky but stargazing from Earth was something completely different from navigating through them. Without having solid ground under your feet. In a tin can.<br/>
When you allowed your mind to dwell on it, you felt your heartrate rise and the walls of the ship close in on you.</p>
<p>Getting claustrophobic didn’t help you one bit.</p>
<p>The fact that Len was the CMO of this ship and you had no idea how to handle this situation, let alone know how you’d be able to work in Medbay (which you would have to, eventually) was adding to your stress and giving you a hard time.</p>
<p>You found that running in the rather huge space of said gym gave you the feeling of being able to breathe again when you started to feel locked up.</p>
<p>The huge observation windows next to the track were the downside. There was no escaping the fact that you were not on Earth but up in space, far away from home.</p>
<p>You tried not to focus on them when you ran, instead you put all your energy into setting one foot in front of the other.</p>
<p>You would be able to live through this internship.</p>
<p>After six months, you could request relocation to a different ship. If you were lucky, you might even be able to avoid working in Medbay on the <em>Enterprise</em> all together and instead serve the medical part of your internship in some other ship’s medical facilities.</p>
<p>Six months were not that long.</p>
<p>Jim Kirk seemed to be fond of this running track on deck 5 as well. You had seen him a few times in the past weeks but had been able to avoid talking to him.</p>
<p>There was nothing much you could say to Jim after what had happened during that weekend back on Earth.</p>
<p>The last time you had met, he ended up in a bar fight, got beaten up, even broke his hand and a few ribs when going after Andrew. Because of you. And then you had kissed his boyfriend.</p>
<p>Jim had been the kindest and nicest person. You had felt an honest connection between the two of you.</p>
<p>But then, you had felt a connection between Len and yourself too. And you remembered clearly how well that had panned out.</p>
<p>When you returned to your quarters after one of your bedtime runs, your PADD indicated that you had received a message.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Cadet Y/LN,</p>
<p>This is a notification that your missed appointment for <em>ENTRY PHYSICAL EXAMINATION </em></p>
<p>with us has been rescheduled.</p>
<p>Your medical wellbeing is important to us.</p>
<p>Please report to Medbay on <em>THURSDAY </em></p>
<p>at <em>1100h SHARP</em>.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Lt Commander McCoy, CMO &amp; staff</p>
<p>—————————</p>
<p>
  <em>Vaccinate don’t procrastinate- make sure your vaccination status is up-to-date. Come and see our staff at Medbay during our open consultation hours.</em>
</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>You sighed.</p>
<p>You had received several of those automated notes from Medbay over the past weeks and had not shown up to any of the suggested appointments.</p>
<p>You honestly had no intention of taking this appointment either.</p>
<p>You were a doctor yourself and would know if something was wrong with you. You were completely healthy and had received all mandatory vaccinations back on Earth.</p>
<p>There was no need to take up the precious time of the staff in Medbay.</p>
<p>This didn’t have anything to do with not wanting to meet Len.</p>
<p>At all.</p>
<p>Who were you kidding?</p>
<p>You <em>did</em> want to meet Len again. You <em>wanted</em> to be close to him. And that was just the problem.</p>
<p>Seeing him on your first day in Medbay had left your knees weak and your heart aching. It was one thing to be back on Earth, far away from Len and pretending not to care for him anymore.</p>
<p>But seeing him, hearing him, breathing in his scent, knowing that he was close by…. That required a whole new level of denial from you.</p>
<p>
  <em>Do you want to delete this message permanently? </em>
  <strong>YES.</strong>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Cadet Y/LN,” your Chief Security Commander addressed you.</p>
<p>Usually, you were good with names, but you could hardly remember any of the names of the officers in Security. There appeared to be a constant flow in personnel and someone new seemed to be in charge every other day.</p>
<p>It was not as if you were planning on hanging out with them after your shifts anyway, so you didn’t put much effort into getting to know them.</p>
<p>“Yes?” </p>
<p>You glanced up at the tall man in his red uniform.  Hastily you stood at attention when you saw the disapproving look on his face. He kept staring as if waiting for you to say something more.</p>
<p>“..Sir?” you added tentatively.</p>
<p>This was exactly what you disliked about Starfleet. You didn’t feel comfortable in the soldiery structures of the Fleet. The hierarchy prevailing in hospitals was more than enough for you to deal with.</p>
<p>He sighed. “It has been brought to my attention that you have not yet been medically cleared for the upcoming away mission.”</p>
<p>Of course, it would have been brought to his attention.</p>
<p>“You will go to Medbay and get this over with by the end of the week,” the Chief Officer continued, then added: “that’s an order. Understood?”</p>
<p>You nodded numbly.</p>
<p>“I can’t hear you, cadet.”</p>
<p>“Understood,” you clarified and were quick to add a “sir” before he could reprimand you.</p>
<p>He shook his head and stepped back. “That will be all, Y/LN. Return to your training.”</p>
<p>You knew this was childish behavior. The status of your relationship had been made perfectly clear by Len. You should not have so much trouble with it all, instead you should be able to meet and be professional about it.</p>
<p>But you weren’t.</p>
<p>You had to handle this differently.</p>
<p>That night, you pulled out your PADD and retrieved the latest note from Medbay out of the trash.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Cadet Y/LN,</p>
<p>Our records indicate that you missed your appointment for   <em>ENTRY PHYSICAL EXAMINATION </em></p>
<p>Your medical wellbeing is important to us.</p>
<p>Please contact Medbay to schedule another appointment.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Lt. Commander McCoy, CMO &amp; staff</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>
  <em>Think before you play- don’t hesitate and come see our staff at Medbay for any questions regarding contraception during our open consultation hours</em>
</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>
  <em>Do you want to reply to this message? -</em>
  <strong>YES</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Dear Dr. McCoy and staff,</p>
<p>With reference to the Starfleet Conduct of Medical Ethics, I hereby request the pending entry physical examination to be performed by female staff.</p>
<p>I highly appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this regard.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Cadet Y/LN</p>
<p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>You were not sure if they would accept this, or if that meant you would not have to deal with meeting Len once you were in Medbay.</p>
<p>But since your Chief Officer had personally ordered you to go and get this stupid exam over with, you had to take some measures.</p>
<p>You were pretty sure he would drag you to Medbay personally by the end of the week. </p>
<p>It was inescapable. Security was very strict when it came to obeying the rules. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Will she manage to avoid Len any longer?<br/>We shall see!</p>
<p>If you liked this chapter please be so kind and review!<br/>Comments ALWAYS make my day and I love to hear your thoughts.<br/>(And yes, I am aware that this sounds <strike>slightly</strike> pathetic. But hey - desperate times and all, right?)</p>
<p><strong>Your</strong> medical well being is important to me. -&gt; Please stay at home! Read fanfic (and comment 😉 (ok ok. That's enough now. I get it...))! Be safe. Take care of others that are at risk by keeping your distance. Watch out for yourselves.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are still waiting for an answer from Medbay regarding your request for the entrance physical exam.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am posting this earlier than anticipated.<br/>I am not sure if I can keep up this posting schedule though.<br/>I hope you like this chapter. Finally some more Bones in there. And quite a lot of Jim. ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Bones,” Jim looked at his best friend as he entered the doctor’s office, waving a PADD in the air. “This has gotta stop!”</p>
<p>“What the hell are you on about, Jim?” McCoy asked with a frown.</p>
<p>“I’ve received another transfer request from one of your nurses.”</p>
<p>Jim tossed the PADD onto McCoy’s desk.</p>
<p>“That makes three since we left Earth. <em>Three</em>. And I am not even counting cadets Richardson and Flores who volunteered to work with the cleaning crew just to get out of their Medbay deployments.”</p>
<p>“Now listen here, Jim... I’m running my Medbay the way I see fit. It ain’t my fault if they can’t hack it.”</p>
<p>He got up and walked towards the door of his office.</p>
<p>“At this rate, you’ll be the only one left in Medbay by the end of the day,” Jim stated frankly, making McCoy stop in his tracks. “You need to get a grip on yourself and clear the air between you and Y/N.”</p>
<p>McCoy whirled back around to confront his friend’s allegations head-on.</p>
<p>“This has nothing to do with Y/N! Being surrounded by bloody incompetence is the problem here!”</p>
<p>“That’s bullshit and you know it, Bones! We’ve got the best crew in the Fleet! This has nothing to do with your staff, and <em>everything </em>to do with your feelings for her.”</p>
<p>“If that’s the case, then that would make this a private matter, and none of your damned business,” Bones shot back.</p>
<p>“You made it my business when you started traumatizing my crew. So you wanna tell me what the hell is really going on between you two?”</p>
<p>McCoy sighed heavily and gave Jim an exaggerated shrug. “Nothin’.”</p>
<p>“Bones...” Jim began in warning.</p>
<p>“I’m serious, kid. I have told you that I tried to clear the air with her repeatedly since the whole kissin’ fiasco. She never returned my comms. It’s pretty obvious she wants nothin’ to do with me at this point.”</p>
<p>“Screw the comms. Talk to her in person.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been buggin’ her to come down here for her entry physical for weeks now. If she wanted to talk, all she needed to do was respond. Instead, she ignored every reminder, until this morning.”</p>
<p>“...And?”</p>
<p>“And now she’s finally agreed to the physical, but only if a female staff member performs it. She quoted the bloody <em>Medical Conduct of Ethics, </em>Jim.”</p>
<p>“Maybe because it’s not ‘Dr. McCoy’ that she wants to hear from. Go talk to her as ‘Len’.” He grimaced. “Gah, that still sounds super weird, by the way.”</p>
<p>“Gee, thanks. Cause ‘Bones’ is so much better...”</p>
<p>Jim grinned at him. “Hell yeah it is. I don’t dish out nicknames to just anyone, you know.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Tell that to Cupcake. I think he’s really warmin’ up to ya.”</p>
<p>Jim snorted.</p>
<p>“What can I say? I’m good with people. Unlike someone else I know...”</p>
<p>“Now, Jim, I’m not a fan of the hobgoblin either, but it ain’t right to talk about him like that behind his back.”</p>
<p>“Better start warmin’ up to him, Bones, cause if you lose anymore staff members, I’ll send him down here to fill the void.”</p>
<p>“You wouldn’t.”</p>
<p>Jim slapped the PADD against McCoy’s chest as he met his friend at the door. “Fix this, Bones. Before I have to fix it for you.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>There had been briefings on the away mission that was supposed to take place the following week.<br/>
As a cadet with the Security division, you’d be part of the vanguard that was going to be beamed down to the planet to secure the perimeter and give a green light for the rest of the team, including the Captain, to follow suit.</p>
<p>The Shura were a peace-loving people, living in close touch with nature and you didn’t want to scare them away by beaming down right into their midst. You were going to land outside of their main settlement and then cover the rest of the distance on foot.</p>
<p>There was a variety of plants with high medical potential on the planet and the Shura had extraordinary knowledge of how to put them to use.<br/>
Starfleet was very glad that they had been able to convince the Shura to join the Federation and share their knowledge.</p>
<p>They had been well disposed to Starfleet making contact for quite some time and had invited them to join in their festivities, celebrating their new status as members of the United Federation of Planets.</p>
<p>The mission was seen as a routine operation and served more like a training session to the Security division, as well as a great opportunity to the botanists and pharmacists to learn more about the alien flora first-hand.</p>
<p>It had been another long day full of briefings and more training, but when you were lying in bed that night in your windowless room, you still were not able to find sleep.<br/>
You hadn’t yet heard back from Medbay regarding your request, and you had to force your thoughts from circling around Len.</p>
<p>It was no use. Sleep didn’t come.</p>
<p>With a groan you got up and made your way to the gym on deck 5. You needed to clear your head.</p>
<p>When you arrived, the gym was empty.</p>
<p>You started on a light jog but continuously picked up the pace, needing to feel your muscles burn until your thoughts stopped flying around your head and you were able to narrow your focus down to simply taking one step after the next.</p>
<p>You ran one lap after another and only when you felt nothing else but the searing pain in your muscles and lungs did you stop to catch your breath, bracing yourself on your thighs and looking out of the large windows next to the track.</p>
<p>Space stretched out in front of you in its vastness and darkness and the stars were twinkling all around.</p>
<p>“Aren’t they beautiful?”</p>
<p>You jumped in surprise. You had not seen anyone else entering the gym while you had been running.</p>
<p>When you turned your head, you found Jim standing next to you, gazing out of the window. <em>Captain Kirk</em>, you corrected yourself.<br/>
“It always amazes me how they still seem to be so far out of our reach, even though we are right here in the black, gliding amongst them.”</p>
<p>His expression was full of wonder, the brightest stars reflecting back in his brilliantly blue eyes as he stared out for a few more moments before turning towards you.</p>
<p>“So, how are you keeping up?” He sounded genuinely interested and there was a pinch of concern in his voice when he continued. “I’ve seen you out here a lot lately, pushing yourself pretty hard.”</p>
<p>You straightened up at that, ignoring your protesting muscles. “You stalking me or something?”</p>
<p>“No, not at all,” he chuckled lightly. “It just seems that we apparently share the same running schedule.”</p>
<p>So he <em>had</em> noticed you before.</p>
<p>You didn’t comment any further and a moment of silence fell between you before Jim continued talking.</p>
<p>“Bones has been looking for you. Something about avoiding a mandatory physical?”</p>
<p>Your expression instantly darkened.</p>
<p>Had Len seriously tattled on you to the Captain?<br/>
“I, uh... I am in the process of rescheduling that appointment. Sir,” you tagged on as an afterthought.</p>
<p>Jim didn’t seem upset by the slip-up. If anything, he looked amused.</p>
<p>“This isn’t an official reprimand, Y/N. Out here on this track, it’s just Jim.”</p>
<p>“Alright then. Permission to speak freely, ‘Just Jim’?”</p>
<p>Kirk shook his head with a laugh. “Permission granted.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that Dr. McCoy dragged you into this, but I think it’s rather inappropriate for him to call in a personal favor and go over my head to sic the Captain on me regarding my medical status. I’m sure you must have more important-”</p>
<p>Jim cut you off with a raised hand.</p>
<p>“Nothing is more important to me than the safety and wellbeing of my crew,” he stated sincerely. “And before you get mad at Bones, he didn‘t send me. Well, not directly anyway.”</p>
<p>You gave him an unimpressed raise of your eyebrow, inviting him to elaborate. He didn’t disappoint.</p>
<p>“As Captain, I receive daily reports on the medical status of my crew members. And with the first away mission fast approaching, it’s on me to decide who gets to join and who doesn’t. I’d like you to be a part of that team, but I can’t approve it until you’ve had your entrance physical. <em>That’s </em>why I’m here.”</p>
<p>You blushed in embarrassment. “Oh. Right.”</p>
<p>Jim let you squirm for a moment to make sure his message hit home, then sighed heavily.</p>
<p>“Look, what happened between you and Bones that day... It sucks. Big time. But if we're all going to be able to focus and do our jobs properly out here in the black, we can't have personal matters getting in the way of duty.”</p>
<p>Your heart instantly sank into your stomach.</p>
<p>Crap. He knew. Of course, he knew… Len was a faithful man. He would’ve been honest with Jim about the misguided kiss.</p>
<p>Kirk was about to say something else when you cut him off quickly.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Jim. I really am.” You looked at your shoes, unable to withstand his piercing gaze. “If I had known about the two of you, I never would’ve...”</p>
<p>Your head shot back up at the sound of Jim choking on his own spit.</p>
<p>Oh no... Maybe Len hadn’t told him after all?</p>
<p>“W-what?!” Jim spluttered.</p>
<p>Panicked, you tried to dig yourself out of the grave you had just buried yourself in.</p>
<p>“This is all just a huge misunderstanding. I hope you’re not mad at him. It was completely my fault. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble between the two of you...”</p>
<p>“Whoa whoa whoa...Hang on there. Let’s back up for a sec. What are we even talking about here?”</p>
<p>You hesitated, afraid of giving the wrong answer.</p>
<p>“That night we all met at the bar... When my ex, Andrew, was there?”</p>
<p>Jim nodded slowly.  “Yeah, I remember...”</p>
<p>He motioned with his hand for you to continue.</p>
<p>“Right, well... I drank, probably way more than I should’ve. And Len, he was so soft and caring that night. God, the way he was with you... It was so obvious,” you shook your head absentmindedly. “I really have no excuse for what I did. And after you had gotten hurt in that brawl on my behalf, nonetheless. Such a terrible way to repay you for your kindness...”</p>
<p>Jim frowned at you.</p>
<p>“Y/N, you’ve lost me again. What is this really about?”</p>
<p>Time to face facts and go all in. You let out a slow breath, then aired your dirty laundry.</p>
<p>“I kissed Len the next morning.”</p>
<p>You waited nervously for his reaction, but it wasn’t one of anger like you had been expecting. If anything, he seemed sad. Sympathetic.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I know. He uh... He was a little freaked out about it afterwards.”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe I was so stupid. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. I was completely out of line… then he pulled back and made it blatantly clear that he wasn’t interested, so I left, and that was that.”</p>
<p>Jim scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Not exactly the best way of handling it, I’ll grant you that.”</p>
<p>You dropped your gaze again, properly chastised.</p>
<p>“Bones, I mean,” Jim quickly clarified. “Not you. I probably would’ve reacted like that too if I were in your shoes.”</p>
<p>You blinked at him dumbly.</p>
<p>“You... You’re not mad?”</p>
<p>He frowned at you in confusion.</p>
<p>“Why would I be mad? Disappointed, maybe... I mean, I haven’t seen him that happy since... Well, never, actually. He’s always been a bit of an ornery bastard. I dunno, I guess I was kind of rooting for you guys to work out.”</p>
<p>You gaped at him, wondering if this was some weird kink that they shared. Before you could demand an explanation, Kirk continued.</p>
<p>“Listen, the thing you gotta know about Bones is that he’s got a complicated past. Throw in that you just got out of a bad relationship and him being afraid of overstepping his authority… It was bad timing all around.”</p>
<p>You had trouble keeping it together at this point. <em>Bad timing?</em></p>
<p>“I know he still cares deeply for you though, and up here in the black, we’re not as strict about those ‘rules of engagement’, so to speak.  And I know it would mean the world to him if you were willing to give him a second chance.”</p>
<p>Had you seriously misread the entire situation, yet again?</p>
<p>“But I... I thought you two were... A couple?” you squeaked out, blushing from head to toe.</p>
<p>For a moment, there was nothing but silence, then much to your surprise, Jim burst out laughing.</p>
<p>You felt as if you were on the edge of hysterics yourself. Your nerves were so beyond frayed.</p>
<p>“Us? A <em>couple</em>?! That’s a good one. Who told you that? Uhura?”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Nevermind. Look, Bones and I may act like we’re married sometimes, and I love the guy dearly, but he’s family. Nothing more. I assure you, he’s as single as they get. And currently, he’s making half the ship, including me, completely miserable with his skulking around. So if you still want him, he’s all yours.</p>
<p>“Just uh... Don’t tell him I said any of that, okay? I haven’t exactly completed my medical clearance exam yet either, and if he found out I’ve been meddling in his affairs… Let’s just say it wouldn’t be pretty.”</p>
<p>That reality check hit you hard. If Len hadn’t pushed you away because he was already in a relationship with someone else, then why did he do it?</p>
<p>Everything you had tried to convince yourself of during the past few weeks was falling apart. The simplest answer was that he just wasn’t interested. But... hadn’t he kissed you back before everything fell apart?</p>
<p>There was clearly more to the story, and without any confirmed data, your thoughts were left to swirl around wildly in your mind, making your head spin. You swayed on your feet, suddenly feeling dizzy from it all.</p>
<p>Jim’s hand shot out and gripped your shoulder. “Y/N?”</p>
<p>You snapped out of your stupor the moment he touched you and pulled away from his grasp. “I umm... It’s getting late.”</p>
<p>You pointed your thumb towards the door over your shoulder.</p>
<p>“I should really get to bed, Captain.” Establishing barriers was a necessity if you were going to make it through this disaster in one piece.</p>
<p>Jim looked slightly put out at the turn of events, but quickly schooled his expression and reprised his favorite role.</p>
<p>“Right. Of course. As you were then, Cadet. You’re dismissed.”</p>
<p>You turned and practically fled from the room, leaving the Captain to enjoy the observation deck alone.</p>
<p>Jim let out a heavy sigh and shook his head as he strolled over to the viewing window, then leaned his elbows on the safety barrier a few feet from the thick quartz glass.</p>
<p>He stared out into the empty space in despair, wondering if he had just done more harm than good.</p>
<p>"What do you think, Dad?” he whispered to the twinkling stars in the distance.  “Desperate times call for desperate measures?" He chuckled to himself morbidly. "I guess you'd know all about that, huh?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for taking the time to read this!</p>
<p>Life can be so complicated at times.<br/>Too complicated?<br/>What did you think of the chapter? Should Jim not have interfered? How about Bones' behavior?</p>
<p>I would love to hear your thoughts on this story! If you can spare the time to write a note and let me in on them, I'd be more than thrilled!<br/>THANK YOU!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You resume your training with Security the morning after you talked to Jim in the gym.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy belated Easter y'all! 🐰<br/>I hope you are doing ok and manage to stay safe wherever you are in the world.<br/>Thank you so much for all your support in form of kudos and comments you left on this story in the past, as well as every email you sent to me (<em>via SandmannAO3@yahoo.com</em>)! 💖</p><p>Sorry for posting this a little later than planned - but here is the next chapter to the story. There are some minor additional warnings to it, should you want to get them before reading, please go to the end of this chapter to find them in the notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim’s words played in your head over and over again. <em>They were not a couple.</em></p><p>Len and Jim were not what you had tried to convince yourself of all summer long.</p><p>Your carefully created line of reasoning no longer made sense. Your main argument had been stultified by Jim’s speech.</p><p>However, his declaration was contradictory to Len’s actions. Len had pushed you away, and no matter the reasoning behind it, this action itself did speak a very clear language.</p><p>The more your thoughts swirled around your head, the more anger started to rise within you.</p><p>If Len indeed felt remotely the same way about you as you felt about him, if he had been miserable ever since and- as Jim had said- was hoping for a second chance of some sort, then why the hell would he decide to remain silent and not talk to you again?</p><p>At this point, you didn’t know what to think or feel anymore. The accumulated lack of sleep didn’t help things either.</p><p>There was so much unresolved tension within you that you were looking forward to pushing yourself at “redshirt boot camp”, as you had started to call your days in the Security division.</p><p>And the boot camp didn’t let you down. After your sleepless night, you reported to your 0600h duty in the gym, ready to get it all out of your system.</p><p>After your warmup run, an officer you had never seen before entered the gym, accompanied by none other than Captain Kirk.</p><p>“Captain on deck! Cadets, at attention.”</p><p>With a by now established routine, you did as you were told and lined up to snap off a salute.</p><p>“At ease, cadets,” Jim released you right away. “For today's combat lesson, Lieutenant Hendorff here,” he clapped the broad-shouldered man standing next to him on the shoulder, “has volunteered to share some of his favorite hand-to-hand techniques with you all. I can personally vouch for his skills in this particular department, so I know you’ll be in good hands.” He sent a forced smile to the man he had once deemed “Cupcake”. “They’re all yours, Lieutenant.”</p><p>“Thank you, Captain. As for the rest of you trainees, today is your lucky day!”</p><p>The man started to patrol up and down the row of cadets, his arms clasped behind his broad back.</p><p>“You will be able to benefit from my personal, year-long experience in close-combat training. I will be teaching you how to defend yourself in a fight without using any weapons.”</p><p>Lucky you.</p><p>Jim didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave and placed himself next to the mats to watch Lieutenant Hendorff work his magic.</p><p>Hendorff recited all different forms of fighting techniques he apparently was a master of before eventually pairing you up into teams of two.</p><p>“How come she has to train with me?” Cadet Cooper complained while pointing at you. “With all due respect, sir, this doesn’t seem to be very fair. For her, I mean.”</p><p>Cooper was towering over you and, weight-wise, you were no match for him either.</p><p>He did have a point there, you had to admit. You were not particularly keen on having to fight him, but you were not going to complain either. Thankfully he had taken it upon himself to do that on your behalf.</p><p>“Life isn’t fair,” Hendorff shot back at Cooper. “Out in the field, you don’t get to choose who is attacking you. You have to make do with whoever crosses your path, and we are getting you into the shape and form to be able to protect yourselves, the Captain of this ship, the crew and the ship itself.”</p><p>Wow, he was giving you the whole pathetic patriotic recruitment speech. <em>“We fight in</em><em> the name of the Federation!</em>” The only thing missing was the rally cry at the end.</p><p>You could see Jim trying to keep a straight face through all of it, but the twitching of the corners of his mouth betrayed his otherwise solemn expression.</p><p>You had it on pretty good authority that the Captain of <em>this</em> ship didn’t need anyone to protect him in combat. He could hold his own just fine.</p><p>But that wasn’t really the point here.</p><p>You watched with mild interest as Hendorff selected a volunteer from the group and performed a few basic blocks and throws, unsurprisingly with very little explanation as to how to reenact such moves properly.</p><p>When he turned the floor over to you and the rest of the cadets moments later, no one was quite sure how to proceed.</p><p>This was one of the Fleet’s approved methods: throw the cadet into cold water and see what happens. They would either swim, or they’d drown. Simple as that.</p><p>Pretty much the same concept Starfleet Medical practiced with its employees.</p><p>Except Starfleet Medical didn’t stand on the sidelines, expecting you beat the shit out of anyone.</p><p>You and Cooper faced off and lifted your fists in defense, then started to circle each other on the mat. Cooper didn’t attack you properly and his halfhearted jabs towards you didn’t exactly impress your coach of the day.</p><p>“This isn’t a square dance, Cooper!” Hendorff shouted at him as he approached. “It’s fight training! Throw a goddamn real punch!”</p><p>Cooper looked between the two of you nervously. “But, sir... I...”</p><p>“You <em>what</em>, huh? You’re afraid to hit a woman? You think you’re doing her a favor by playing nice? Let me disillusion you, Cadet. Next time she’s out in the field and someone attacks her, they won’t be pulling punches, and she won’t know how to defend herself! Do you want her death on your conscience, Cooper?”</p><p>You were still thinking about how he was being overly dramatic, and how you had no intention of ever being <em>out in the field</em> in any future scenario when Hendorff suddenly lunged forward and attacked you.</p><p>The air was knocked out of your lungs when his fist connected with your unguarded stomach and sent you flying backwards into the mats.</p><p>
  <em>You were flying across the room... He was over you in no time. Too close. Too heavy. His breathing in your ear. And then there was pain...</em>
</p><p>“Here’s another lesson for you plebes... You always need to have your guard up!” Lieutenant Hendorff stated as he addressed the others who had formed a circle around you both.</p><p>At this point, all you heard was a rush of words, not being able to identify their meaning. Your head was ringing, and your heart was pounding painfully in your chest as you felt the rage within you boiling up.</p><p><em>No!</em> You were <em>not</em> going to let this happen to you again.</p><p>You managed to get back up onto your feet and threw yourself with all the force you could muster at the back of the Lieutenant, interrupting his melodramatic speech as you rode him down to the ground.</p><p>“Why you little...!”</p><p>With quick reflexes, he managed to roll onto his back, but you were not about to let him get the upper hand again.</p><p>You let your fists rain down on him, impervious to the pain the impacts caused to your hands.</p><p>You were able to land a few solid punches before his nose cracked under your knuckles. The man yelped in agony, and the sound gave you pause.  </p><p>Taking advantage of your hesitation, Hendorff furiously grabbed your wrists and reversed your positions, pinning you down on the mat beneath his significant weight.</p><p>
  <em>No no no… Get off me, get off me...! </em>
</p><p>The gym around you faded away and you didn’t hear your fellow cadets cheering or Jim’s voice ordering Hendorff to back off as he joined in the fray.</p><p>All you felt was the weight on your hips, pushing you down and trapping you in place.</p><p>
  <em>Your wrists burn, your head pounds and you can’t breathe…</em>
</p><p>Desperately, you tried to free your hands and regain some space to move.</p><p>Jim had finally fought his way through the crowd and reached the mat. He wrapped his hands around Hendorff’s arm, pulling him forcefully off you.</p><p>“That’s enough, Lieutenant!” he barked. “Stand down!”</p><p>When the man loosened his grip on your wrists, you managed to bring enough distance between you to be able to pull your knee up in one fast movement, and you kicked Hendorff hard in the groin.</p><p>At this point, he let go of you completely while flopping sideways onto the mat, gasping in pain.</p><p>You jumped to your feet and were on him in a heartbeat. You hit him, over and over, letting out your rage and fear. Everything around you became indistinct as you kept attacking Hendorff.</p><p>Suddenly there were hands on you, pulling you away and off the Lieutenant.</p><p>Feeling vulnerable with another attacker at your back, you turned around and lashed out blindly. You felt your right fist connect with bone, the impact sending a searing pain shooting through your wrist and along your arm.</p><p>“Oof! Damnit... Y/N!”</p><p>The pain helped to snap you out of it and eventually, you came to your senses, blinking and looking around you in confusion.</p><p>“Y/N...” Finally, Jim’s voice reached your ears. When you looked at him wide-eyed, you found his blue eyes were scanning you, full of comprehension and sympathy.</p><p>“Y/N, it’s alright,” he stated calmly, his voice low and his words only meant to be heard by you. “You're safe now, okay? He’s not here.”</p><p>
  <em>He’s not here... </em>
</p><p>You blinked and looked around you in bewilderment. A dead silence had fallen over the gym as astonished faces were staring at you in a mixture of fear and disbelief.</p><p>“WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU??” A very nasally-sounding Hendorff broke the silence before spitting blood onto the mat.</p><p>
  <em>He’s not here.</em>
</p><p>You were not back at your apartment. Andrew was nowhere to be found.</p><p>This was the gym. You were on the <em>Enterprise</em>. And the man curled up and cursing on the opposite side of the mat with a bloody nose was your superior security officer.</p><p>Reality kicked in.</p><p>
  <em>Oh shit.</em>
</p><p>“I.. I’m sorry, Lieutenant,” you stuttered out, mortified as you slowly backed away.</p><p>You were swaying in your steps when you felt a large, warm hand touching your shoulder lightly in an attempt to steady you.</p><p>Your first instinct was to pull away, but when you realized it was Jim’s hand, you relaxed. He looked at you knowingly, then turned towards Hendorff.</p><p>“I believe we can state that Cadet Y/LN is able to defend herself,” he began, trying to deescalate the situation while slowly guiding you backwards and away from the others.</p><p>“I want to make an official report,” Hendorff stated petulantly. “She should be held accountable...”</p><p>“I’ll handle this, Lieutenant,” Jim replied, staring Hendorff down. “Why don’t you go to Medbay and let them sort you out?”</p><p>When Hendorff opened his mouth to argue, Jim cut him off in a sharp voice.</p><p>“That’s an order, Hendorff. Trust me, you’ll want to ice that,” he added, indicating the man’s injured crotch. “The rest of you, return to your assigned posts for the remainder of the shift. Training will resume tomorrow at 0600 sharp. You’re dismissed.”</p><p>Jim walked you a little further towards the door and out of earshot, then turned to you, his hand still reassuringly on your shoulder.</p><p>“That was quite the show back there. Are you alright?” He tried to play it off as a joke, but his soft tone of concern gave him away.</p><p>You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment before answering. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”</p><p>The attack had thrown you back to your apartment, back to Andrew.</p><p>You had thought you had your memories of him and what had happened under wraps, but they had found their way back to you.</p><p>While you tried to shake off those thoughts, there was a moment of silence between you and Jim, but no words needed to be said. He knew full-well what had just happened.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I’m guessing Hendorff will think twice before underestimating you again. As will I, for that matter. You’ve got one hell of a right hook...”</p><p>Only then did you realize that he was sporting a split lip and bruising was starting to darken along his jaw.</p><p>Oh god... You had hit Jim. Once again, he had gotten hurt because of you.</p><p>“Jim... Uh, I mean, Captain! Captain, I am so sorry,” you tried to apologize, instantly swinging into doctor mode as you stepped closer and reached for his face. “Please, let me take a look...”</p><p>Jim jerked back out of reach and gently caught your forearm, turning the tables as he inspected your throbbing wrist.</p><p>“I’m fine. Really. But you should get this checked out. When your fist connected, I could’ve sworn I heard bone break, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my jaw.”</p><p>Alarmed at the thought of facing Len like this, you took a step back, breaking contact with Jim as you shook your head and cradled your wrist.</p><p>“I don’t need to go to Medbay. I can take care of it myself.”</p><p>Jim searched your eyes for the truth and you quickly looked away, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hide it from him.</p><p>Then to your utter surprise, he pursed his lips and nodded.</p><p>“Fair enough. Doctor knows best, rest? You’re off duty for the rest of the day.”</p><p>“Sir, that isn’t necessary.”</p><p>“I insist. Bones will have my head if he finds out I made you work with an injury. I should get back to the bridge though, so if you’ll excuse me...”</p><p>Jim turned to leave, then stumbled slightly. He threw out a hand to brace himself against the nearest wall.</p><p>“Jim!” you shouted without thinking, circling back in front of him just in time to watch him blink heavily.</p><p>“Whoa...” he grunted, his eyes failing to track as he waited for the room to stop spinning.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” You reached out with your left hand to steady him.</p><p>“Just… feeling a bit dizzy, is all.  Must’ve moved too fast.”</p><p>“Or you have a concussion,” you offered in counterpoint. “Open your eyes and look at me.”  </p><p>You reached for his face and had just started palpating his jaw when he pulled away, keeping his eyes averted. </p><p>Instead, he looked back at the rest of the gossiping cadets as if he were afraid of how your intentions might be perceived.</p><p>“Told you, I’m fine. Not the first time I’ve taken a hit. In fact, Hendorff over there already beat you to the punch. Literally. Kind of poetic if you think about it.”</p><p>“If you start spouting off rhymes, Captain, I’ll know you’re concussed.”</p><p>“Hey, I happen to know a lot of poetry. Just because I’m pretty doesn’t mean I can’t read too.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? What was the last book you read?”</p><p>“Uhh...” Jim frowned, at a loss. “Hang on, it’ll come back to me.”</p><p>“Sure it will. I’m comming Medbay for a stretcher.”</p><p>You were about to grab your comm from your left hip holster to ask for assistance when Jim’s hand shot up and stopped your movement.</p><p>“No, don’t!”</p><p>“You need to get scanned, Jim. Head injuries are no joke.”</p><p>You pulled free of his grip to try again when he held his hands up placatingly.</p><p>“Okay, okay! I’ll go. Just… I’ll stop in on my way back to the bridge, alright? No need to make a spectacle of it.”</p><p>His eyes shot over to the people milling about again.</p><p>Jim had an image to uphold if he were going to keep the respect of his people and being carted away on a stretcher after being punched by a female cadet wasn’t going to do him any favors.</p><p>Still... With his reputation for avoiding all things medical, you didn’t trust him to follow through with his promise.</p><p>You shook your head. “I am not letting you walk there on your own.”</p><p>Jim sighed in defeat. “Fine. Walk with me then?”</p><p>He held an arm out, inviting you to move in for the assist.</p><p>You hesitated, looking back at the remaining cadets who were still openly staring.  Any excuse to get away from being the center of attention was fine by you.</p><p>And taking the Captain to Medbay was the least you could do. After all, you were responsible for his injury.</p><p>Mind made up, you nodded, then lunged forward and caught hold of Jim just as he started listing backwards.</p><p>“I’ve got you. Nice and slow,” you encouraged as you guided him out into the hall.</p><p>As you walked him to the nearest turbolift, you tried to wrap your head around everything that had just happened, and the affect it could have on your future with Starfleet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <b>Additional Warnings</b>
  <br/>
  <em>Flashbacks, description of violence/fighting, mild PTSD</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was more action and a lot more of Jim in this chapter. Also, Andrew is still somehow present.<br/>Getting closer to Medbay means that we are also getting closer to meeting our favorite Southern Doctor again! Next chapter, I promise. 😉</p><p>I hope you liked this chapter!<br/>If you can spare the time, please let me in on any of your thoughts on my story!<br/>I always love to hear from you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You drop Jim off at Medbay.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little later than planned, but here is the next chapter.<br/>Thank you all for taking the time to read and leave so many lovely comments and feedback here and on "To boldly go...". I didn't have a lot of time lately, but every time a notification about another comment or kudos left popped up I had a broad smile on my face. You all were truly making my days. I enjoyed reading each and every review immensely!<br/>As I said before, sharing this story with you has not been an easy decision for me to make, for many reasons, but I am still not regretting it, mostly because of your kind reactions.</p><p>I hope you like this next chapter and the way "...where no one has gone before" unfolds.</p><p>As always a massive <b>thank you</b> has to go out to my friend and beta - magic- worker to this story, SHTWSPNSH. Thank you for putting up with me!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim leaned on you more and more as you made your way towards Medbay together.  Any thoughts of bolting before you reached those doors dissipated with every step.</p><p>You decided to strike up a conversation, if not to distract Jim, then to distract yourself from what lay ahead.</p><p>“Uhm, Captain,” you started tentatively. “About the official complaint Lieutenant Hendorff wants to file…”</p><p>“Oh, that,” Jim waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. Hendorff is a bit of a drama queen. Besides, he owes me one, and I think he’ll be relieved to finally cash in that chip so we can call it even.”</p><p>“But... I punched a superior officer. <em>Two</em>, in fact. There have to be some sort of repercussions for that.” This was Starfleet after all.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You got the upper hand in a training exercise. If anything, that tends to result in accommodations, not discipline.”</p><p>You frowned and wondered how hard exactly you had hit him.</p><p>You walked the rest of the way in silence until you reached the doors of Medbay, thankfully without any further incidents.</p><p>Your wrist was throbbing rather painfully now, and the punch in your stomach had left you feeling slightly nauseous, but you were breathing through it.</p><p>You were going to drop Jim off, maybe grab a few analgesic hypos, and then head to your own quarters and see how you could fix your wrist without Len being any the wiser.</p><p>“Captain!” one of the harried nurses exclaimed as she quickly walked over to greet the two of you, zeroing in on Jim who was clearly a frequent flyer judging by her disappointed frown. “What happened this time?”</p><p>Jim snorted. “Good to see you too, Nurse Reed. Is Bones around by any chance?”</p><p>“When is he not? He practically lives in Medbay,” she scoffed. “Why don’t you take a seat in your favorite suite and I’ll go grab him for you.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>You looked to him for instruction and he pointed in the direction of one of the private rooms near the CMO’s office.</p><p>“I swear one of these days they’re going to engrave my name on that bed in my honor.”</p><p>“Sounds like they probably should,” you agreed as you helped him settle in on the biobed. “Need anything else before I go?”</p><p>“Yeah, actually... I should probably give Reed a head’s up that Hendorff will be arriving soon. Do you mind flagging her back down?”</p><p>You hesitated for a moment, hoping you’d be able to slip out unnoticed if you didn’t draw too much attention to yourself. But that hesitation was all Jim needed.</p><p>“You know what? Don’t worry about it. I’ll just go find...”</p><p>He started to slide back off the edge of the biobed, but you stopped him with a hand to his chest.</p><p>“I will go find her, alright? You stay put.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a smirk. “You’ve been hangin’ around Bones too long.”</p><p>“And I know where he tends to stash the hypos, so don’t test me,” you warned before stepping back out of the room and looking around for nurse Reed.</p><p>You waved to grab her attention, then hissed as even that small motion was enough to send agony shooting up to your elbow.</p><p>
  <em>Should’ve used your left arm...</em>
</p><p>Reed looked over at you, then frowned in concern, approaching quickly.</p><p>“You too, huh?” she questioned, reaching out to examine your wrist.</p><p>You pulled back, cradling your arm protectively against your stomach. “Me? Oh, no. I’m fine. Jim just asked if I could...”</p><p>“Don’t tell me his stubbornness is contagious.”</p><p>“What? No, I...”</p><p>“You need to let a doctor take a look at that wrist.”</p><p>“I <em>am </em>a doctor.”</p><p>Reed huffed. “That’s even worse. Doctors make the worst patients.”</p><p>You really couldn’t argue that point. But you weren’t here to argue in the first place.</p><p>“Look, the Captain just asked me to tell you that...”</p><p>“I’ll check on him in a minute. You need to come with me.”</p><p>“I told you, I’m fine! I really have to get back to my post.”</p><p>“No, she doesn’t,” came Jim’s voice from a few feet behind you.</p><p>You spun around to see him smirking cockily, standing just fine on his own with his arms crossed over his chest. </p><p>“I already informed her that she was off duty until tomorrow. She’s all yours, Nurse Reed.”</p><p>He winked at you, and you gaped at him for conning you into this situation. “Jim, I swear, I’m going to...”</p><p>“Uh uh uh,” he cut you off with a wag of a finger. “You already punched your Captain today. Don’t go adding threats to the mix.”</p><p>“What the hell is going on out here?” an irate voice demanded, and your heart dropped into your stomach.</p><p>
  <em>So much for avoiding Len...</em>
</p><p>“Just a little training mishap,” Jim informed him. “You’ve probably got one more on the way.”</p><p>Right on cue, Hendorff waddled into Medbay. He took one look at you, then gave you a wide berth as he hedged around you towards the intake desk.</p><p>Len recognized the Lieutenant right away and immediately turned on Jim. “Damnit, Jim... Don’t tell me the two of you went at it again.”</p><p>“Not me,” Jim corrected, then jutted his chin towards you. “Hendorff underestimated his opponent.”</p><p>You found yourself actually sympathizing with Hendorff on that subject as you glared daggers at Jim for stabbing you in the back.</p><p>“Think her wrist might be broken, Bones. I’ll just leave you to it.”</p><p>You panicked as Jim began making his way towards the door. No chance in hell you were going to let your barrier escape that easily.</p><p>“The Captain might have a concussion!” you blurted out, then felt vindicated when Jim dropped his head and groaned.</p><p>“Hold it, Jim,” Len commanded.</p><p>The doctor was so not in the mood for games. He had already had a long day, and it was not even lunchtime yet.</p><p>A member of the molecular lab had been in the middle of an experiment when he managed to make numerous vials blow up, resulting in the CMO and his staff spending the majority of the morning pulling small shards of glass out of different body parts of the science officers who had been unlucky enough to be within the blast zone.</p><p>Three other crew members were suffering from the common cold, and Len expected many more to start showing up over the course of the next few weeks.</p><p>Yet another reason to hate being stuck on a tin can in outer space... Diseases spread like wildfire.</p><p>There was also an engineering officer with minor burns on her hands, and one of the cadets sprained an ankle while attempting to slide down a Jefferies tube.</p><p>Honestly, the entire ship was filled with children... And Spock.</p><p>Why could they not take better care of themselves? Ignoring basic rules of safety seemed to be on the agenda of the majority of the crew members.</p><p>Then again, look at who was leading them.</p><p>Needless to say, once he was informed that the Captain had just come limping into Medbay, any hope of a quiet lunch break went out the airlock.</p><p>Not that he had planned to go out to the mess hall for food anyway, but a few quite moments to himself in his office sure as hell would have been nice.</p><p>Instead, here he was with three new patients, all sporting a variety of injuries, judging from what he could tell at first glance.</p><p>And one of them was you, and this was not how he had wanted to meet you again – as a patient in his Medbay.</p><p>Whoever said you can’t start drinking before five was an asshole.</p><p>He shook his head, then realized all eyes were on him and additional staff had accrued to assist. Time to work his triage magic.</p><p>“Alright, Chapel, can you handle Lieutenant Hendorff in Bay 7?”</p><p>“Yes, Doctor,” his righthand woman replied succinctly, then gently took hold of Hendorff’s arm and guided him to the farthest bay.</p><p>“Nurse Reed, please take Cadet Y/LN into Bay 3 and get some scans of her wrist for me.”</p><p>“Len, I really don’t need...”</p><p>“Don’t argue with me,” he interrupted, ignoring the odd looks that the remainder of his nursing staff were shooting towards you for calling him ‘Len’. “You’re not goin’ anywhere until I’ve had a look at that wrist.”</p><p>Too ashamed to argue, you simply dropped your gaze and nodded.</p><p>“And <em>you</em>...” Len growled, pointing a finger dangerously at Jim. “You’re comin’ with me.”</p><p>Your chastisement was alleviated to a degree, knowing that Jim’s devious little plan had backfired on him. You could hear him protesting all the way down the hall as you were led to the bay Len had allotted you.</p><p>You reluctantly sat down on the biobed, supporting your right arm firmly with your left hand as Nurse Reed pulled the curtain closed and retrieved her PADD.</p><p>Your nausea had not subsided, and you were glad to be able to sit. For now.</p><p>The nurse stepped up beside you and turned on the surveillance mode of the bed while switching all alarms on silent at the same time.</p><p>“Right then. Let’s get started with your intake paperwork, shall we? Can I have your full name and rank please?”</p><p>You sighed heavily, feeling resigned to your fate.  “Cadet Y/N Y/LN.”</p><p>“Okay, Cadet Y/LN. I take it you were all part of the same training incident?”</p><p>“You could say that,” you replied, giving her a small nod.</p><p>“And it looks like you injured your wrist?”</p><p>You considered the limb as it gave a particularly painful throb and, given the swelling it was showing by now, you knew it had to be more than a torn ligament.</p><p>Jim had been right. Something was definitely broken.</p><p>But all you needed was access to a tricorder and an osteo-regen unit. Everything else was just a waste of everyone’s time and energy.</p><p>As you sat there, you found yourself wondering if Jim was faring any better.</p><p>***</p><p>Len dragged Jim by the arm back into his private room and practically shoved him onto the biobed.</p><p>“Hey! Take it easy, Bones!” Jim protested, shying away from the older man warily as Len approached.</p><p>“You wanna tell me what this is all about now? And why you decided to drag Y/N into your little tiff with Hendorff?”</p><p>“It’s not like that, man. For once, I had nothing to do with it.”</p><p>“Yeah? Tell that to your face.”</p><p>Len reached out and gripped Jim’s chin, tilting his head to see the vivid bruising and bloodied lip in a better light.</p><p>“Looks like he got you pretty good,” Len grimaced.</p><p>Jim knocked his hand away, annoyed. “Yes, <em>she </em>did. So don’t piss her off if you can avoid it.”</p><p>Bones blinked at him as Jim’s words registered.</p><p>“Wait a cotton-pickin' minute here... Are you tellin’ me <em>Y/N</em> did this?”</p><p>“Did I stutter? You think this is bad, you should’ve seen what she did to Hendorff.  He’ll be lucky if he ever has kids.”</p><p>Jim crossed his knees protectively, warding off the sympathy pains.</p><p>Len narrowed his eyes, fully prepared to turn his anger over onto Hendorff if he had earned it.</p><p>“Did he say somethin’ to her that set her off?”</p><p>“No, I... I don’t think so. There might be a bit more to it than that.”</p><p>Len raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Such as?”</p><p>“I think you need to ask her personally, Bones. In fact, you should probably go do that now before she takes out your nursing staff in a mad-dash for the door.”</p><p>Len glanced in your general direction, wishing he had x-ray vision to see through the walls without having to face you again in person.</p><p>“Seriously, man. Just go. I’m fine.”</p><p>“Five minutes, Jim,” Len stated, holding up a hand for a visual reference. “Just give me five minutes to check in on her, and then I’ll get to work on that bruisin’. Can’t have you walkin’ around the ship lookin’ like you just left a fight club.”</p><p>Jim chuckled. “Let’s be honest, Bones. This is hardly the worst condition they’ve seen me in.”</p><p>Len had to concede to that. All things considered, a bruised jaw and busted lip barely registered on the ‘Jim’s Fatal Injuries’ scale.</p><p>“Don’t move,” he warned, pointing a threatening finger at Jim who lifted his hands in surrender.</p><p>“Not moving. Now go!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are getting there, promise. :)</p><p>I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. As always: I would love to hear what you think about the story!<br/>Your comments &amp; feedback (and kudos) are part of my reward for writing! 😉</p><p>Thank you for staying with me and Dr. Insert for so long! I hope to be able to update again soon, but I will have to work for the majority of the next 14 days (and nights), so I am not sure how much editing/writing I will get done in between family life, work, and sleep time.</p><p>Stay safe out there, wherever you are!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Len takes care of you in Medbay after the training-incident.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all! :)<br/>This chapter is a little shorter... But I decided to share it anyway and try to stick with a (more or less) weekly updating schedule. For now.<br/>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nurse Reed kept asking you questions, but you didn’t pay much attention to her.  </p><p>Zoned out, you tried to calm yourself down, but the increasing pain in your wrist didn’t help you think straight.  </p><p>You had been so sure that you’d overcome your Andrew-related issues over the past weeks. How had you been thrown back in time and place so easily when Hendorff had attacked you? </p><p>The familiar beeping of the bed’s surveillance monitors eventually pulled you out of those circling thoughts. <em> Too fast. Too low.  </em> </p><p>You took a forceful breath in and attempted to turn around to have a look at the readings of the biobed.  </p><p><em> Oh crap </em>.  </p><p>You were trained on scanning those monitors quickly, so a small glimpse of the readings in combination with the audio information the heartrate signal was providing were enough for you to assess the situation.  </p><p>Not that you really needed the numbers to confirm the pain you felt at the moment, but you were not able to shake this well-trained habit. </p><p>Your heartrate was way too high, and you would never have allowed any of <em> your </em> patients with a blood pressure so low to leave your care. The nurse was already eagerly scribbling down your vitals on her PADD.  </p><p>“Cadet Y/LN?” Reed lifted her arm and waived to get your attention to shift from the monitors behind you back to her. “You have to cooperate and answer my questions.” </p><p>She looked really annoyed.  </p><p>“It is essential to know what happened and if there are any other injuries we need to take care of.” </p><p>That was exactly what you were trying to figure out. What <em> had </em>happened back there? You had a feeling this was not what she was referring to though.  </p><p>You inhaled deeply, steading yourself. </p><p>“Nurse Reed,” you addressed her with all the authority you had left in you, trying to talk your way out of being here one more time as professionally as possible. “My hand is status post bone-contact during a sparring session. It is just the wrist, nothing more. I didn’t hit my head, didn’t pass out, didn’t throw up.” </p><p><em> Keep breathing </em>.  </p><p>“Just scan the hand, attach an osteo-regen-unit, maybe throw in some painkillers and I will be fine. No need to see the CMO. He needs to take care of the Captain and I’m sure he has a lot of other things to do as is.”  </p><p>Reed looked at you sternly. </p><p>“Cadet Y/LN, I understand your position here, but now I need you to understand mine. You clearly have some medical knowledge, so you must know our policies on injuries such as these.” </p><p>“Yes, of course. As I said before, I <em> am </em> a doctor! I know the proper protocol. But I’m telling you it’s not necessary. This is all just a big misunderstanding...” </p><p>You started to rise from the bed but the nurse thwarted your escape with a heavy hand on your shoulder, pushing you back down. </p><p>“Let go of me,” you demanded. </p><p>“I can’t do that when you’re in this state, ma’am. I assure you, we are going to take very good care of you, but first you need to calm down.”  </p><p>Her eyes kept darting up to the readings above your head while she talked to you. It was obvious from her expression that she was not pleased with the results.  </p><p>“I <em> am </em>calm!” you shouted back, your voice growing louder with frustration and pain. You started to see little white spots dancing around you. </p><p>“Cadet Y/LN!” Nurse Reed raised her voice to match yours. “You need to <em> calm down </em>or I will have no choice but to sedate you!” </p><p>“I AM calm!” you shouted at her one more time. “You’re just not listening to me!” </p><p>At this point, you had trouble controlling your voice and your eyes were burning as tears of pain and despair started to make their way down your cheeks. </p><p>Before you could continue your side of the argument, Leonard yanked the curtains open and stepped in. “What in tarnation are you two yelling about?!”  </p><p>You quickly wiped the sleeve of your left arm over your face, trying to make the tears disappear.  </p><p>“Dr. McCoy, cadet Y/LN is refusing to cooperate,” Nurse Reed was very quick to explain while nervously fidgeting with the PADD in her hands. </p><p>"No, you’re simply refusing to understand!” you cut in. “All I am saying is that it’s a simple fracture and I can take care of it myself. It’s not that big of a deal.” </p><p>“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Len glanced at the readings of the biobed then stepped closer with a concerned look on his face. “Your pain levels are practically off the charts! Let me see it.” </p><p>Protectively, you held your arm even closer to your body, still fighting off the pain and all the emotions that were crashing over you, now that you were face-to-face with Len.  </p><p>You were tired, your exhaustion amplified by your throbbing wrist- and to your horror, all you wanted was to be close to him.  </p><p>To lean forward and rest your head on his chest, feel his heartbeat, be safe in his embrace and allow him to take care of you.  </p><p>It would be so easy. But if that were really true, why did it feel so damned complicated? </p><p>Len could read the lost expression in your eyes and he sighed, his demeanor quickly softening. He hated seeing you like this. </p><p>“Nurse Reed, I can take it from here. Why don’t you go keep an eye on the Captain for me?” </p><p>The nurse shot you a look but seemed all too happy to surrender her duties to someone else. She handed the PADD over to Len and walked off. </p><p>“Now then...” Len placed his hand gently on your right shoulder, and the gesture was so close to- and yet so far from- what you really wanted, that it almost reduced you to tears again. “You wanna tell me what all this is truly about?” </p><p>You dropped your gaze to the floor and shook your head. “I don’t know.” </p><p>“You don’t know why you attacked two senior officers? Or you don’t know if you want to tell me about it?” </p><p>There was a hint of dry humor in his tone and your eyes flickered up just in time to see the corner of his lips twitch up into a half-hearted smirk. </p><p><em> Those lips... </em> </p><p>You blushed and quickly looked away again. <em> Get ahold of yourself! </em> </p><p>“Like Jim said, it was just a training mishap,” you mumbled in reply. </p><p>“Uh huh...” </p><p>You winced in pain, and only then did you realize that Len had been distracting you with conversation while he slid his hand down your arm and began gently palpating your wrist. </p><p>Sometimes you hated how good he was at his job. </p><p>“I admit, I understand the urge to punch Jim,” he continued, his tone light. “That kid brings out the best in all of us. But why Hendorff?” </p><p>“It wasn’t intentional,” you responded honestly. “We were learning new sparring techniques, and he blind-sided me. Pinned me to the mat.” </p><p>Your hand curled into a fist at the memory and Len raised an eyebrow at you. </p><p>“And?” </p><p>“And nothing. I got angry, so I hit him back. Then I guess I forgot where I was for a minute. Next thing I knew, Hendorff was bleeding on the ground, and I damn-near knocked Jim out.” </p><p>Len’s beautiful eyes widened a bit as comprehension dawned on him, then they filled with sorrow. </p><p>He ran his thumb carefully over your knuckles, then managed to coax your clenched fist open with his other fingers until you found yourself holding his hand. </p><p>You swiped angrily at your cheek with your left hand as another tear managed to escape your eye. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Len whispered, and his words carried the weight of the world with them.  You had the feeling he wasn’t just talking about your wrist. And he wasn’t, but he couldn’t find the right words to say.  </p><p>He was so close, all you had to do was lean forward a bit, and... </p><p>You panicked. You couldn’t do this right now. You couldn’t be here. Couldn’t be around Len.   </p><p>You were way too emotional and vulnerable, and you didn’t trust yourself one bit not to mess things up even more between you. </p><p>You had to get out of there before you did something you might regret. Something stupid, like kissing him again. </p><p>“I should go,” you stated suddenly, withdrawing your hand from his and hopping off the bed. </p><p>Big mistake. </p><p>When your feet touched the floor, you felt it shift underneath you and the room began to spin.  </p><p><em> Woah… </em> </p><p>You had moved too fast and your nausea had gotten the better of you. In reflex, you flung out your right hand and got a hold of the biobed to steady yourself.  </p><p>But the second you put weight on the limb, the pain intensified and sent an excruciating wave through your entire body, making your vision blur. </p><p>You yelped in pain and your knees gave out from under you. </p><p>But Len was right there, and he caught you in his arms.  </p><p>“Easy now, I’ve gotcha...” </p><p>He swept you off your feet and placed you safely back onto the biobed. </p><p>From this proximity, you could smell Len’s comforting scent and were about to surrender and get lost in it when there was the pinch of a hypo against your neck, and you heard it hiss as the contents were injected into your bloodstream.  </p><p>You blinked at him in surprise as he hovered over you, gently massaging the injection site in silent apology. </p><p>“You’re alright... Just relax now,” he soothed. </p><p>The last thing you saw was the worried look in his eyes when he brushed the hair back from your sweaty face before checking your forehead for a fever. </p><p>You didn’t see him glance up at the readings again, didn’t feel his hands flying over you; assessing, touching, healing.  </p><p>You didn’t hear his concerned voice shouting out to his staff, didn’t hear him muttering and grumbling to himself while he took care of you. </p><p>You missed Nurse Reed’s reluctant return, informing Len that the Captain was no longer in the Medbay, followed by a frustrated “Damnit, Jim!” </p><p>And you didn't feel him cover your good hand with his own or hear the whispered words of comfort as he sat vigil by your bed until you regained consciousness. </p><p>But it was a wonderful dream, nonetheless. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Will they ever talk to each other?!</p><p>Let me know what you think - as always: I am looking forward to hearing form you and reading your comments!<br/>They usually spark inspiration and creativity, so... if you can spare the time, all feedback is highly appreciated. </p><p>Stay safe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You wake up in Medbay after you fainted in front of Len.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey there!<br/>Here is the next installment of this story.<br/>It is a little longer than the last chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it. </p>
<p>Work and life in general have been crazy over here and I might have to take a little break and probably won't be able to keep the weekly updates coming.<br/>😕<br/>This story will <em>not</em> be abandoned!<br/>I will try to have the next installment up within the next 14 days!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you opened your eyes again, the first thing you were aware of was the lack of pain. There was an osteo-regen unit fastened to your right wrist and you could see an IV drip attached to your left arm.</p>
<p>You were still in Medbay.</p>
<p>You closed your eyes again, taking in a few deep breaths, trying to shake the slight dizziness. Len must have given you a little something for the pain.</p>
<p>Maybe a little something more.</p>
<p>You fought against your eyes falling shut again and started to fumble with the regen- unit on your right wrist.</p>
<p>With the pain gone, you hoped to be able to sneak out without anyone noticing, especially without running into Len again, when a hand was placed on yours and stopped your fidgeting.</p>
<p>“Leave it alone!” Len’s voice was low, and it still held the power to send shivers down your spine.</p>
<p>When you looked up, his beautiful brown eyes met yours.</p>
<p>No. No, they weren’t brown. They most definitely verged on hazel at this moment. Hazel. Yeah. You had to reevaluate your findings regarding the eye color question. Maybe you should be doing it in a less drugged state though.</p>
<p>“You’ve got yourself a fractured wrist there. The unit needs to stay on till at least the end of this regen round.”</p>
<p>Len lifted his hand off yours and leaned back in the chair he was sitting on next to your bed. The scene felt like déjà-vu.</p>
<p>“Did... Did you <em>sedate </em>me?” you mumbled in disbelief as your memories started coming back.</p>
<p>“Course not,” he replied shortly. “I gave you somethin’ for the pain. Your body did the rest.”</p>
<p>You remembered trying to leave, and the agony that shot through your arm mid-attempt. You glanced over at your tethered limb again nervously.</p>
<p>“The bone should be just about mended,” Len stated, answering your unasked question. “It wasn’t a bad break. You’ll probably be sore for a few more days and have to take it slow, but the majority of the damage will be gone by mornin’. So long as you don’t mess with my fine work...”</p>
<p>You didn’t trust your voice at that point, so you simply nodded in acknowledgment, turning your attention to the standard-issued Medbay blanket that was covering you.</p>
<p>Silence fell between you.</p>
<p>Leonard was the first to break it.</p>
<p>“So. You wanna tell me why you thought springin’ to your feet like a startled jackrabbit was a good idea earlier?”</p>
<p>No way were you going to explain what had been going through your mind at the time, so you chose to stay stubbornly silent, picking at a loose thread on your blanket.</p>
<p>Len let out a heavy sigh. Apparently, your silence spoke volumes in and of itself.</p>
<p>“Listen Y/N, I am sorry for what happened between us that mornin’, back on Earth. It was never my intention to embarrass or upset you.”</p>
<p>He dipped his head down, trying to regain your attention.</p>
<p>“I respect that you don’t want anythin’ to do with me after what I did, but we need to make things work up here. And you not lettin’ yourself get treated when needed or avoidin’ the entry physical ain’t ‘<em>making things work’</em>.”</p>
<p>He had taken in your tired appearance as well as the dark circles around your eyes, and had also noticed that your clothes hung slightly loose on you.</p>
<p>Combined with the findings of the scans he had run on you while you were unconscious, this painted a very clear picture of neglect.</p>
<p>“I’ve told you before that you need to take better care of yourself.” His voice had an angry edge to it, albeit mostly sounding full of poorly concealed concern.</p>
<p>You took in a deep breath before you managed to look back up at him. Your voice was a little shaky at first but gathered strength as you spoke.</p>
<p>“Given the fact that I managed not to fall apart completely in the past few weeks, I would say that I have been doing a pretty great job at taking care of myself.”</p>
<p>You were surprised about how bitter your words sounded.</p>
<p>“Don’t bullshit me! You lost weight, your vitals are way off and don’t get me started on your lab results.” He leaned back in the chair; arms crossed in front of his chest looking reproachfully at you. “You have been pushin’ yourself too hard. Again.”</p>
<p>“Don’t do that,” you muttered angrily.</p>
<p>“Don’t do <em>what</em>?” he demanded.</p>
<p>You locked eyes with his to make sure you got your point across. </p>
<p>“Don’t act like you really care. If you were so concerned, you could’ve reached out to me at any point during the summer to see how I was doing. You didn’t.”</p>
<p>You knew you were not being fair right now, but you could not help but let your frayed emotions take charge for once.</p>
<p>“I obviously wasn’t a priority then, and you don’t need to make me one now just because I ended up being part of your crew,” you finished with a huff.</p>
<p>You sat up and started to fumble with the regen-unit again, trying to get it off your wrist this time so you could succeed in making a break for it.</p>
<p>One eyebrow shot up as Len raised his voice slightly, matching your tone.</p>
<p>“I <em>do </em>care, goddamnit, and not just because it’s my job! You'd know that if you ever bothered to listen to any of my messages. And for the last time, leave the bloody regen-unit alone!”</p>
<p>You dropped your hand at his sharp tone and looked at him in confusion. “Messages...? What messages?”</p>
<p>“The ones I left you on your comm during the past few weeks!” He sounded hurt.  “The ones you clearly didn’t see fit to listen or respond to!”</p>
<p>Oh god. Your comm. The one you had sent down to play ball with the fish on the bottom of the ocean. To cut <em>Andrew </em>out of your life. Not Len.</p>
<p>You closed your eyes for a moment.</p>
<p>It hadn’t even occurred to you that Len would try to fix things. Or that you had destroyed the only form of contact he still had to you.</p>
<p>He scrubbed a hand wearily down his face. “Ever since that morning, I've been tryin' to get a hold of you. I wanted to explain my actions.”</p>
<p>You huffed out a pained laugh at that.</p>
<p>“You pushed me away, Len. That doesn’t really require a lot of explaining. I got your message loud and clear.”</p>
<p>“That wasn't... I shouldn't have reacted like that, okay? I just... I guess I just panicked.”</p>
<p>“You … panicked?” You snorted derisively, now looking up.</p>
<p>“I've got a lot of baggage, Y/N,” Len sighed, looking miserable. “Also, I was your boss at the time, there was alcohol involved, that whole situation with your ex... Neither of us were thinkin’ clearly, and I didn’t want to take advantage of... I was just tryin’ to do the right thing.”</p>
<p>He shrugged wearily, and the genuine sadness you saw in Len’s face hit you hard.</p>
<p>You had tried to convince yourself of so many things this summer, even had succeeded in convincing yourself that Len was gay. But not once had you considered taking a step back to try and see the situation from his perspective.</p>
<p>The words you heard from him just now made sense. He was right.</p>
<p>He <em>had </em>been your boss, and between the adrenaline from the fight and the copious amounts of alcohol the three of you had consumed, you could see how he had been worried that you might have crossed lines that day you never would’ve otherwise had Len not been resilient enough to put an end to it. </p>
<p>And as for his baggage… You didn’t know a lot about that either. You had only been circling around you and your own perception of the past events, so this version of the truth never occurred to you in the slightest.</p>
<p><em>His </em>version.</p>
<p>Now you really felt like an asshole for jumping to conclusions.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” you replied. “I probably should’ve given you a chance to explain. I was just so mortified that I had overstepped, and... And I thought you and Jim were together,” you confessed meekly while biting your bottom lip and lowering your eyes again.</p>
<p>Len nearly toppled his chair over.</p>
<p>“What in the world?!” he choked out. “No. Just <em>no</em>. Jim and I, we’re...”</p>
<p>“I know,” you cut in, feeling your face flush with embarrassment again. “He already cleared that up recently.”</p>
<p>Len couldn’t help but shake his head with a disbelieving chuckle. “Bet <em>that </em>threw the kid for a loop.”</p>
<p>“He thought someone put me up to it. But I just... I didn’t understand what had happened that morning, Len. I was blaming myself for having misread everything between us…”</p>
<p>He leaned forward in his chair and reached out for your good hand, taking it carefully into his. God, you had missed his touch so badly. “Y/N, you were the best thing I've had goin' in my life for a long time, aside from my friendship with Jim, and when you kissed me... I wanted it. There was no misreadin’.”</p>
<p>He smiled at you sadly.</p>
<p>“But then I couldn't hear my heart over my damned head.”</p>
<p>Your hand started trembling slightly within his.</p>
<p>“I never meant to hurt you, darlin'.” He squeezed your hand reassuringly, then added, “Out of all the screw-ups in my past, the way I handled that mornin’ is the one that I regret the most. And believe me, the list is long.”</p>
<p>“I... You... What?” You were left speechless.</p>
<p>“I’ve had a lot of time to think since then, and if I had the chance to do it all over, I never would’ve let you run off without an explanation first. I’d do anythin’ to undo the damage I did.”</p>
<p>Your heart started pounding fast in your chest.</p>
<p>“And I'm not just sayin' it. I mean it. Every word.”</p>
<p>When he looked at you, the dejection you saw in his beautiful eyes made your heart ache.</p>
<p>“I'm not askin' you to give me a second chance. I know that ship has probably long since sailed. I'm just hopin' you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”</p>
<p>Len had tried to reach you. He had left you messages. Messages you had never received because you had destroyed your comm.</p>
<p>He regretted his actions.</p>
<p>Len was hurting too.</p>
<p>There was a whirlwind of thoughts that was blowing around your head, but one thing stood out crystal clear; one thing you were not able to deny.</p>
<p>You wanted to be close to Len. Despite everything that had happened, your feelings for him had not changed. No matter how hard you had tried to negate them.</p>
<p>You didn’t know if this was going to work. Or what “this” actually was.</p>
<p>But with every fiber of your heart, you knew that you needed Len in your life.</p>
<p>One way or another. And this was your chance.</p>
<p>“I may be just as much to blame for this as you are,” you admitted ruefully.  “I… I never got your messages. But I never tried to reach out to you to hear your side of the story either. I was… I had a lot going on, and I guess it was just easier to pretend it never happened.”</p>
<p>At those words, he squeezed your hand and offered a wry smile.</p>
<p>“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” </p>
<p>You smiled back timidly. “Yeah. I guess we are.”</p>
<p>He beamed at you, and you were positive that you had never seen anything more beautiful in your entire life.</p>
<p>The regen unit beeped, signaling the end of its cycle and breaking you out of your trance.</p>
<p>Len stood and made his way to the other side of the bed, freeing your wrist and checking it carefully.</p>
<p>“Look at that... Good as new,” he smirked, and you couldn’t help but agree.</p>
<p>You retracted your arm after he released his grip and tentatively rotated your wrist, relieved that you still had full range of motion and the pain was all but gone.</p>
<p>You certainly weren’t going to be throwing punches again anytime soon though.</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit... Jim.</em>
</p>
<p>“How’s the Captain?” you asked, feeling badly that you hadn’t thought to inquire earlier.</p>
<p>Len’s face dropped into an annoyed scowl that only Jim could provoke.</p>
<p>“Good question. The pain-in-the-ass skedaddled before I could finish examinin’ him.  I got a hold of Spock earlier though who confirmed that Jim was back on the bridge and I asked him to keep an eye on the kid till I could get there. Now that I know you’re gonna be alright, I’m about to go hunt him down.”</p>
<p>You winced, Len’s tone carrying with it the threat of multiple hypos in Jim’s near future.</p>
<p>“But let’s finish takin’ care of that wrist of yours first, shall we?”</p>
<p>Before helping you sit up, Len removed the IV drip in one smooth movement, then applied a brace to keep the freshly healed bone from getting damaged again.</p>
<p>“Think you’re ready to try standin’ up?” he hedged, watching your eyes carefully.</p>
<p>You nodded, and with his guidance, you abandoned the biobed.</p>
<p>“Slowly, now...”</p>
<p>Much to your relief, the room did not spin around you. You offered Len a sincere smile. “I’m good.”</p>
<p>“Glad to hear it. And I’m willin’ to sign your discharge papers now, but only if you promise me you’ll be back here first thing in the mornin’ so Chapel can finally take care of your physical.”</p>
<p>“About that...”</p>
<p>Len opened his mouth to argue with you, but you placed a finger against his lips and he immediately fell silent.</p>
<p>“I was just going to say that the stipulation I requested is no longer necessary. As the CMO, I know it’s your duty to sign off on all exams, so unless it would be too weird for you, I think I’d prefer it if...”</p>
<p>He took your hand into his own, pulling your finger away from his face with a grin.</p>
<p> “I’ll see you at 0800.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When Len stepped out of the turbolift and onto the bridge, he found Jim sprawled contentedly in his favorite chair, Spock hovering obediently over his right shoulder.</p>
<p>“Should’ve known you’d take off as soon as my back was turned...” Len stated, announcing his arrival.</p>
<p>Jim smirked over his shoulder at Len as the older man approached with his typical scowl.</p>
<p>“Bones! Finally! You mind calling off your guard dog now? Not that I don’t appreciate your company, Mr. Spock, but I’m sure you have much better things to do than babysit me.”</p>
<p>Spock raised an eyebrow at him. “I am adequately proficient in multi-tasking, Captain. I assure you, my other duties have not been neglected.”</p>
<p>“Course not,” Jim agreed with a dismissive wave of his hand. “The doubt never crossed my mind. But seriously, I’m perfectly fine, guys.”</p>
<p>“Y/N seemed to think you might have a concussion,” Len stated, turning on his trusted tricorder as he dropped down to one knee and began scanning his friend.</p>
<p>Jim chuckled. “I know she did. Cause that’s what I <em>wanted </em>her to believe.”</p>
<p>Len paused his scan, staring dubiously up at Kirk from his position in front of the Captain’s chair.</p>
<p>“...Wanna run that by me again, kid?”</p>
<p>Jim leaned forward, lowering his voice so only Len would hear.</p>
<p>“Look, it’s been pretty obvious that you two are still on the outs. I knew she broke her wrist in that fight, and she was refusing to go to Medbay ‘cause <em>she </em>knew you’d be there. So, I gave her a bit more incentive.”</p>
<p>“Are you tellin’ me you <em>faked </em>an injury?” Len asked for clarification purposes, not sure if he was impressed or appalled.</p>
<p>Jim relaxed back into his chair again, grinning smugly.</p>
<p>“I’ve had enough concussions in my day to make a convincing show of it, Bones.  Really wasn’t that hard.”</p>
<p>“Unlike your skull, apparently.”</p>
<p>Regardless of his friend’s insistence, Len focused his scan on Jim’s head, wanting to verify the lack of damage himself.</p>
<p>Jim rolled his eyes but endured the familiar whirring. “I’m telling you, man, it doesn’t even hurt.”</p>
<p>After a moment, Len sat back on his heel and lowered the tricorder.</p>
<p>“Satisfied?” Jim prompted.</p>
<p>“Nothing broken,” Len conceded. “You’ve still got some deep bruisin’ there though.”</p>
<p>He reached out and prodded at Jim’s jawline, running his thumb along the kid’s split and swollen bottom lip.</p>
<p>Jim winced and pulled back, earning a furrowed brow from the good doctor.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t hurt, huh?”</p>
<p>“Only when you poke at it,” Jim accused, cradling his chin as he shifted his mandible back and forth till the pain eased again.</p>
<p>“Be happy I’m not punchin’ you too after that little stunt you pulled. Next time you up and leave when I tell you to stay put, I’ll authorize Spock to nerve-pinch you and carry you back to a biobed. In front of the entire bridge crew.”</p>
<p>“That’s just sadistic,” Kirk groused. “I was only trying to help, Bones.”</p>
<p>“About that... You can stop meddlin’ in my affairs, too. I don’t need you tryin’ ta play matchmaker between me and Y/N.”</p>
<p>Jim looked sullen at first, but then his eyes lit up.</p>
<p>“Wait, does that mean it worked?”</p>
<p>“Did <em>what </em>work?”</p>
<p>“You and Y/N. Did you guys finally talk things out?”</p>
<p>“None of your damned business, kid.”</p>
<p>“Ha! That is totally a yes! And speaking of Y/N... It took longer than I expected for you to come up here. Is she doing alright?”</p>
<p>“There were a few minor complications, but nothin’ I couldn’t handle.”</p>
<p>Jim’s smile widened. “I bet.”</p>
<p>This time, it was Len’s turn to roll his eyes.</p>
<p>“Infant. Now hold still while I clear up some of this bruisin’.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>They finally talked, huh?<br/><br/>If you can spare the time and leave some feedback you'd make me incredibly happy and help me through the next week or so  😉</p>
<p>Take care of yourselves!<br/>And don't forget: this weekend is mother's day! (At least where I live...) Go and let your mom know she is loved. And to all the moms reading this story and might need to hear it during these challenging times:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <em>Dear Mom<br/>You are<br/>strong<br/>beautiful<br/>loved<br/>valuable<br/>worthy<br/>You are<br/><b>enough</b></em></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After breaking your wrist the day before, you are heading to Medbay for your physical the next morning.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all! ☺</p><p>It took me quite a while to find some time to write and edit and rewrite and edit some more. (And there is another writing project that needed some attention... so much to do, so little time...)<br/>Sadly I didn't manage to get as much done as I wanted to and the chapter is not finished yet. But it already has been two weeks since I last posted... which is why I decided to cut this chapter in half and upload the first part of the physical now. That's why today's chapter ended up being a little shorter again.</p><p>I hope you don't mind. (If you prefer to read it all in one go: stop right here and wait for my next update to read chapters 9 and 10 back to back!)</p><p>I'll try to get the second part finished within the following week.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you arrived at your quarters it was already late. The day you had spent in Medbay had passed without you even noticing.</p><p>Pain meds would do that to you, you knew that, but being on the receiving end was quite the experience.</p><p>Thankfully, no one in Medbay had forced you to change into one of the horrid patient gowns. You were still wearing your workout clothes from the training session that morning though, so you really needed to take a shower.</p><p>The sonic shower your quarters were equipped with did what they had to do, but it was not comparable to the feeling of actual water beating down on your skin, cleansing in its wake.</p><p>Unfortunately, only the higher-ups had access to that luxury, so you found no cause to linger.</p><p>You were in and out in ten minutes flat, and once you were dressed in your pajamas, you felt the bone-deep exhaustion take over.</p><p>Too weary to even <em>think </em>about preparing dinner, your crawled into your bed and fell asleep the minute your head touched your pillow.</p><p>You woke up the next morning, feeling well-rested and having slept through a solid ten hours without any interruptions.</p><p>That was the most sleep you had gotten in weeks.</p><p>For the first time in a long time, you had felt calm. If it was due to the pain meds Len had given to you, or if you were able to sleep through the night because your thoughts had finally stopped racing, you could not tell.</p><p>All you knew was that it felt like such a relief to realize that you had not been imagining the things you had felt regarding you and Len.</p><p>At least to some degree.</p><p>The two of you were back on speaking terms. How this would work out, you weren’t exactly sure. But at this point, you’d be happy to have him in your life as a friend rather than not have him there at all.</p><p>When you made your way back to Medbay that morning, you could not help but smile.</p><p>***</p><p>“Well good mornin’, sunshine!” Len greeted you cheerfully.</p><p>“Good morning to you too!” you beamed at him. Seeing Len first thing in the morning was something you had missed dearly. “Seems like someone’s got a bit more pep in her step today... I take it you slept well? The wrist isn’t givin’ you any more trouble?”</p><p>“Slept like a baby, and the pain is negligible.”</p><p>“Glad to hear it.” Len motioned towards the biobed in the closest bay. “Hop on up then so we can get this exam outta the way.”</p><p>You did as you were told, favoring your right hand and helping yourself onto the biobed with your left.</p><p>“Now, show me that wrist of yours again.”</p><p>He stepped closer and you willingly stretched out your freshly healed arm.</p><p>He took the brace off and carefully examined the limb once more, moving it around, testing the range of motion and the stability in the joint. You liked the way his hands felt warm on your skin, his touch firm and yet tender.</p><p>Satisfied, Len let go of your arm.</p><p>“The fracture is healed alright. But you need to keep that brace on for the next couple of days to be safe.”</p><p>You rolled your eyes in exasperation and shook your head lightly.</p><p>“Oh, come on, Len... That’s not necessary, and you know it! There is no evidence that a fractured joint, after being healed via osteo-regenerator, benefits from a prolonged period of immobilization in the post-regen phase. Especially not if it was not a complicated fracture.</p><p>“In fact, Taylor, Ryan and Kennex et al showed in their published work that immobilizing the limb can lead to micro-myatrophy and thus result in a higher likelihood of follow-up injuries.”</p><p>Len raised an eyebrow at you in bemusement.</p><p>“Are you really quotin’ the <em>Federal Journal of Hand Surgeons</em> to me?”</p><p>“You’re familiar with the paper then?” you pressed, feeling victorious in your argument.</p><p>“Course I am. I read all the damned papers. That’s part of the job. But I am also familiar with <em>you</em>, and given the special circumstances, I don’t give a rat’s ass about that article, and as your CMO, I am pullin’ rank so you‘re gonna wear this brace until I say otherwise, is that understood?”</p><p>You gaped at him incredulously. “Len, you can’t just…”</p><p>“Oh, watch me. But hey, if you really don’t wanna wear that brace, you are more than welcome to spend the next few days here in bay 2 so I can keep you under observation and make sure you’re not puttin’ too much pressure on those freshly healed bones. Your choice.” He looked at you expectantly.</p><p>“Fine,” you huffed out in defeat. “Give me the stupid brace back then.”</p><p>He handed the brace over with a smirk.</p><p>“Atta girl. See? I knew you could be reasonable.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah… I’ll make sure to hand a case report in next time my wrist breaks,” you muttered under your breath, pouting as you kept fiddling with the clasps of the brace.</p><p>Len reached out and helped you adjust it properly. When he fastened the clasps securely, you took a sharp breath in as a sudden pain shot through your wrist.</p><p>It was gone as fast as it had come, but your discomfort hadn’t gone unnoticed by Len.</p><p>He raised an eyebrow at you in concern. “I think it‘s best I declare you medically unfit for duty for the next couple o’ days. You need to recover and rest that hand properly.”</p><p>Your heart sank at his words and you shook your head quickly in response. “No, that won’t be necessary. The captain wants me to be part of the away mission tomorrow.”</p><p>Len looked up at you in surprise. “The delegation to Yalara?”</p><p>“That’s the one,” you nodded.</p><p>“Jim’s been talkin’ about it all week. Should be a pretty straight-forward initiation. I’m sure there are plenty of other eager cadets who’d be chompin’ at the bit to cover for you.”</p><p>“Len, no. Please. This is important to me, and I need to get off this ship. Need to breathe some fresh air again!”</p><p>Over the past weeks you had actually started to like being on the Enterprise. Your nightly strolls through the corridors while most of the crew were asleep had shown you a rather peaceful and almost magical side of the ‘Fleet’s Finest’.</p><p>But not being able to get outside was giving you way more trouble than you had anticipated.</p><p>There was the racetrack in the open space of the gym on deck 5, sure, but that was not the same as being able to breathe and feel fresh air and see the sky.</p><p>Ever since you knew that you were considered to be part of this away team, you had been looking forward to the chance of leaving the ship and getting solid ground under your feet again.</p><p>Yalara was a class M planet, and in many aspects, very earthlike. You were not about to let a slight mishap sideline you.</p><p>“Besides,” you added confidently. “You said the bones were already healed, right?”</p><p>Len frowned. He knew that away missions tended to have slightly adventurous outcomes when Jim was involved. But still, it <em>was</em> supposed to be a cakewalk assignment.</p><p>The Shura were known to be a peaceful folk, and according to the reports, they were eager to join the Federation. The wining and dining were just a diplomatic formality.</p><p>A little shmoozing with the locals, some pledges and contracts, and they’d be back on the ship by nightfall. Could be an excellent training experience to get your feet wet on.</p><p>Plus, Len was going to be part of the team as well, and he would be able to keep an eye on you - and Jim - to make sure you were not overdoing things.</p><p>Len could relate to your wish of leaving the Enterprise’s recycled air for a natural fresh breeze and the familiar crunch of dirt and leaves beneath his feet instead of the pristine floors of the ship that echoed every footstep down the corridors like some ominous void.</p><p>And the scientist in him was rather curious to explore the planet, Yalara, despite his aversion to away missions in general.</p><p>As a doctor, every place they visited was a Petri dish of dangerous diseases, many of which hadn’t even been discovered yet so there was no way to fortify themselves ahead of time. It was essentially his worst nightmare.</p><p>But when he looked at you and saw the desperate pleading in your eyes, he sighed in defeat. He could not deny you this.</p><p>“Okay,” he reluctantly acquiesced.</p><p>You looked up at him in surprise. “O-okay? Just like that?”</p><p>You had been prepared to put up more of a fight.</p><p>“Don’t make me regret it,” he ordered, then pointed at your right arm. “And the brace stays on.”</p><p>You exhaled with relief and nodded in agreement. “Done.”</p><p>“Good. Now, let’s finish this exam and get you medically cleared, shall we?”</p><p>You smiled in response and Len retrieved his PADD from the nearby table.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How did you like the progression of the story?<br/>I am thankful for any thoughts you are willing to share.<br/>Each comment is a great reward and usually a source of inspiration that I am looking forward to!</p><p>I hope you all are keeping safe and sane during this crazy time and maybe my story is able to help you take your mind off everything that's going on in the real world for a little while. </p><p>Take care of yourselves!</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Sidenote:</em><br/><em>Not sure how commonly known this is outside my little medical bubble, but amongst medical personnel, we tend to quote papers to each other (or maybe that's just us... or me... 🙄🙈). Anyway...et al. (et allii/alia/aliae) is Latin and means "and others". That's it. That's the sidenote. 😉 </em></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Your entry physical examination continues. (This chapter picks up right where the last chapter ends. Maybe you want to reread chapter 9 before starting this chapter.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to the support of my wonderful friend SHTWSPNSH I was able to overcome a severe writer's block and finished writing the next chapter. Thank you so much for your ongoing support and wise words and, as always, your beta magic. <br/>This story would not be out in the world without you!</p><p>So, here we go - part two of the entry physical examination. I hope you like where the story takes you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I see Starfleet Medical did their homework back on Earth,” Len stated as he scanned through your file.</p><p>You nodded. “They did. I had it all handled shortly before the end of the term.”</p><p>“Your vaccination status looks fine to me, except for the Inpurian flu shot.”</p><p>“Yeah, they had run out of stock the day I had my appointment. Something about an outbreak in the Cardassian Union. Said I could get it done once I boarded the starship to which I was assigned.”</p><p>“Uh huh...” Len huffed. “And exactly how long have you been on this ship now?”</p><p>You looked a little guilty about the significant delay. “It’s not like it’s one of the mandatory vaccinations...” you mumbled in your defense.</p><p>Leonard shook his head at you disapprovingly, then went on.</p><p>“We’ll take care of that today. We should also discuss adding a shot for the Goyam pocks at some point, but here in the Beta Quadrant, it’s not a pressing issue and I would not want to mix those two vaccines for obvious reasons.”</p><p>Somewhere deep in your memory, you did remember something about not mixing attenuated vaccines of the pock type with others, but you were not sure which ones and for what reasons. You decided to nod knowingly, nevertheless.</p><p>“You have not been handed any melatonin or vitamin D supplements.” He looked up. “Do you have your own stash, or did you settle into the ship-time and life without natural sunlight all on your own?”</p><p>“I manage just fine without any medical sleeping aids.”</p><p>“I see... I’d have been really impressed by that, had you been tellin’ me the truth.”</p><p>You looked up at him in surprise for calling you out.</p><p>“You think I can’t recognize the signs of sleep-deprivation? I’m a doctor for cryin’ out loud. We <em>invented </em>the condition.”</p><p>You couldn’t help but laugh at that. He wasn’t wrong.</p><p>Len flashed you a smile, then set the PADD back down.</p><p>“Artificial lighting aside, it can take a while to get used to the rhythm up here in the black. No shame in gettin' a little help to settle in.”</p><p>“I am doing just fine on my own, Len. So, thank you for your concern, but I don’t need drugs.”</p><p>“Sure you don’t.” He rolled his eyes. “Why listen to me? I’m only the CMO of this ship... What do I know?”</p><p>God, you loved this man. Cantankerous attitude and all.</p><p>You pursed your lips to keep the goofy grin off your face at his petulant complaining.</p><p>“At the very least, you should start taking some vitamin D to protect the rest of your bones from ending up in braces.”</p><p>“Whatever you say, doc,” you replied flippantly.</p><p>His eyes narrowed and you suddenly had a higher appreciation for the Captain and his uncanny ability for pissing Len off. It was a good look on the man.</p><p>As if he read your mind, he mumbled, “You’ve been hangin’ out with Jim too damned much...”</p><p>With a heavy sigh, he approached the biobed you were sitting on again.</p><p>“Now before I run the final scan, I’ll examine you the correct way. I don’t give a damn what those stuffed-up quacks say. No tech at all can substitute a-”</p><p>“..a proper manual examination,” you finished the sentence you have heard him say so many times before.</p><p>He quirked an eyebrow at you in surprise.</p><p>“What?” you countered. “I <em>was </em>paying attention when you were sharing your wisdom with me, back on Earth.” You grinned and winked at him. “At least, most of the time.”</p><p>“Well, then you know the drill.” He smiled at you fondly and it did dangerous things to your insides.</p><p>He positioned himself directly in front of you and you automatically spread your knees to allow him to get closer.</p><p>Len reached out and touched the back of your neck. His hands felt cold against your flushed skin.</p><p>He paused at the heat emanating from your body, no doubt starting to suspect a fever. But when your eyes met, you were sure he could see the truth screaming at him from within the depths of your soul.</p><p>He took a moment, recollecting himself, before he donned his professional mask again.</p><p>Len dropped his gaze to focus intently on his progress as his hands slid along both sides of your neck, all the way down to your collarbones, while palpating your lymph nodes and leaving your skin tingling pleasantly in their wake.</p><p>It took a lot of your strength and self-control not to close your eyes and simply lean into his touch.</p><p>He was and always had been a very hands-on doctor, preaching to never rely completely on the modern technology that was available to medical personnel.</p><p>It was only natural for him to perform this sequence of inspection, percussion, palpation, and finally even very old-school auscultation on you before turning around and retrieving a small tricorder from the sideboard.</p><p>He held it in front of you and the device started to whiz and hum in his hands. He looked at it, frowned, reached for another scanner, and repeated the action before putting both scanners to the side with a heavy sigh.</p><p>He had seen you push yourself too hard once before when you had started working together at Starfleet Medical.</p><p>The lab results he had seen the day before when you came in with the broken wrist had been confirmed all over again by the scans he just had run.</p><p>You were overexerting yourself, yet again. This time, he would not let it pass so easily.</p><p>“When was the last time you had a decent meal?”</p><p>“Uhm… I…”</p><p>You knew that you had been pushing yourself rather hard these past few weeks. Ever since that weekend back on Earth. The weekend you had tried to forget all about.</p><p>It had started with your stomach turning upside down almost every time you tried to eat. Your mind had been so occupied with everything that had been going on that your body was simply reacting to the mental stress.</p><p>After a while, trying to force food down your throat had not felt worth trying anymore.</p><p>You stuck to eating the smallest amounts of food your stomach would accept, just to get you through the day. And your running routine helped keep your mind off of it.</p><p>The last home-cooked meals you tasted had been the ones your mom had made for you, and for the most part, you had only eaten those because you didn’t want to worry your parents.</p><p>Since you had boarded the Enterprise, you had immersed yourself in every new assignment, trying your best to avoid Len. Getting back on a proper eating schedule had not been one of your top priorities.</p><p>And things had been working just fine for you so far. It was not as if you didn’t eat at all. It was more that food had moved to one of the lower rungs of the ladder of your concerns.</p><p>Not eating properly had slowly turned into a habit. Not taking enough care of yourself was something you had casually grown accustomed to without having planned to do it in the first place.</p><p>You could not deny that it felt good to push yourself the way you did. It had helped you to get through your days and keep going after everything that had happened during the summer. But perhaps you had pushed yourself a bit too far...</p><p>Len looked at you sternly, crossing his arms in disapproval. “Your silence speaks volumes.”</p><p>You shifted uncomfortably beneath the weight of his judgment. “Look, I don’t have an exact time and date to give you, okay? But I eat enough to get by, same as everyone else on this ship.”</p><p>“Don’t you lie to me. You know as well as I do what these results mean.”</p><p>He grabbed the tricorder and held it in front of you so you could see the display.</p><p>“If you want me to clear you for that mission, you need to start takin’ better care of yourself. I thought we had been through this before.”</p><p>He looked at you, waiting for a response, but you only lowered your eyes, your stomach souring with shame.</p><p>It had not been intentional, nor did you think it would be a big deal. But after seeing the readings of the tricorder, your rational doctor side had to admit that maybe you had allowed your new habits to get a bit out of hand.</p><p>Len sighed again.</p><p>From what he had seen and heard, he knew you had been through the ringer with your ex-boyfriend. And it seemed to still be affecting you rather severely if he had correctly understood your explanation of yesterday’s events.</p><p>Now that he knew that none of his messages had reached you over the summer, he wished he had just swallowed his doubts and boarded a shuttle to follow you back home. Talked to you in person, like his instincts had told him to do.</p><p>But he had been so insecure and unsure about how to proceed, that he had not listened to what his heart had demanded. Instead, he buried the hurt and disappointment behind his usual gruff mask and went back to his daily routine.</p><p>Leonard had to admit that he hadn’t handled the situation very well either, and because of it, he had been just as unbalanced as you over the past few weeks.</p><p>He knew he had no right to judge. That didn’t stop him from worrying though. Or from feeling guilty for not having checked in on you sooner.<br/>
Len had seen how you dealt with stress back on Earth, at the beginning of your surgical term with him. He had hoped that the talk you two had shared back then would have had some longer lasting effects.</p><p>But changing habits was a difficult endeavor.</p><p>“If you keep this up, you won’t be goin’ on any away missions. Or anywhere <em>else</em>, for that matter. I’ll admit you into one of the private rooms here in Medbay for the foreseeable future and keep you under constant observation if that’s what it takes. This ain’t a jokin’ matter.”</p><p>You knew that he was right. You had been pushing yourself deliberately, crossing lines that actually hurt.</p><p>Your parents had been worried back home, but seeing the genuine concern in Len’s eyes made all the difference in the world. It felt good to know someone truly cared.</p><p>You made a vow right then and there that you would try harder. If not for yourself, then for Len.</p><p>The poor man already had his hands full with an entire ship’s worth of people to worry about without having to keep on you about eating three square meals a day.</p><p>“I’ll get back on track. I promise.”</p><p>“Glad to hear it. In the meantime, I’m gonna give you some vitamin and nourishment hypos to get you started. And before you go gettin' any bright ideas, they don’t serve as a substitute for actual food or proper sleep, so I better not catch you sneakin’ in here and self-dosing to get your stats back up where they belong.”</p><p>“Understood.”</p><p>“Alright then. All that being said... I can’t in good conscience sign off on a compromised cadet joining the away team tomorrow.”</p><p>You opened your mouth to argue but Len held up a hand.</p><p>“Let me finish. You eat some actual meals today, get at least six hours of shut eye tonight, then come back for one more scan in the morning before the beam down. And if your levels are within an acceptable range again, I’ll file the necessary paperwork to get you planet-side. Deal?”</p><p>You nodded, determined to make him proud.</p><p>“Should I start keeping a food journal to prove I’m eating?” you joked, then mentally kicked yourself when Len actually paused to consider it.</p><p>He picked up the PADD again and started making some adjustments to your file.</p><p>“I suppose there’s no need for that just yet. I’ll be monitoring your meal card to make sure you’re using it. Might even institute a dietary plan for you that includes all the necessary vitamins and everything else you’ve been lacking lately.”</p><p>“Or maybe we could just have dinner together?”</p><p>Oh shit... Did you really just say that out loud?</p><p>Your eyes instantly widened in horror as Len’s head snapped back up.</p><p>“I meant eat in the cafeteria together at the same time,” you quickly backpedaled. “You know, so you could see that I was eating a nutritional meal and all...”</p><p>You held your breath, bracing yourself for the inevitable fallout. Why did you have to ruin it every time things started getting good again?</p><p>“No,” Len stated, and your heart plummeted. “I have a better idea. How about I cook for you tonight? None of this replicated bullshit, but good old-fashioned southern cookin’.”</p><p>The air stuttered out of your lungs in disbelief. “That... That sounds pretty amazing, actually.”</p><p>“Great. It’s settled then. Come by my quarters after shift tonight. We’ll see if my mama’s famous family recipe can kickstart that appetite of yours back into gear.”</p><p>“Challenge accepted.” You were so relieved that he was willing to meet you halfway that you were almost at the door before he called you back.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re goin’, missy?”</p><p>You glanced back over your shoulder to see him brandishing a handful of hypos.</p><p>“Sit your ass back down. I ain’t finished with you yet.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dinner, huh? 😉<br/>And someone taking care of Dr. Insert. </p><p>As always... I would love to hear from you!<br/>Any thoughts you have and are willing to share are a great reward. </p><p>As for the away mission... what do you think will happen? <em>Will</em> anything be happening? Easy in - easy out mission. Straight forward, right?<br/>We will find out... soon. ish. 😉</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After your physical, there is one more long-overdue physical for Leonard to take care of.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all!<br/>I am still alive!<br/>So sorry it took me ages to post again. There has been a lot going on in my life, and the plot of this story keeps bending stubbornly in the wrong direction.<br/>But I will get there. </p><p>This chapter was not supposed to be written, but alas... here we are, it snuck its way into the story and I ended up really liking it.<br/>And it even turned out to be a little longer than the usual update.<br/>There is no Dr. Insert in this, just a lot of Jim and Bones and an excursion into their past. (There will be mentions of Jim's Tarsus backstory. Nothing explicit though.)<br/>I hope you like how this chapter turned out. </p><p>As always: thank you so much for staying with me and your continuous support of this story!<br/>Also: thank you to SHTWSPNSH, yet again,  for her constant support at all times of the day and night and her insistence on as well as assistance with throwing this pinch of Jim to the mix.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ah. Jim. There you are. And only two and a half hours late to boot! Color me impressed.”</p><p>Jim paused just inside the doors of Medbay, giving his best friend a calculated look.</p><p>“You sound like you’re in a good mood...” he noted warily.</p><p>Len snorted. “Why do people keep sayin’ that today? I <em>can </em>actually be cheerful, contrary to popular belief.  Sometimes even downright jolly if the situation calls for it.”</p><p>Jim moved a bit closer, keeping his voice low. “Bones, have you been partaking in the Saurian brandy without me?”</p><p>“Course not, kid. That shit’s illegal. How many times I gotta tell you that?”</p><p>Len clapped Jim on the shoulder, then glanced up as Nurse Chapel came walking by.</p><p>”Perfect timing as always. Hey, Christine? Would you be so kind as to escort the captain to his designated private room, please? I’m gonna go grab your files.”</p><p>He winked at Jim, then turned and headed towards his office to retrieve the PADD in question. After a few steps, he started humming to himself absentmindedly.</p><p>Jim’s eyes widen comically as he blanched at Nurse Chapel. “Is he...? Did I just hear him...?”</p><p>“He’s been humming all morning,” Chapel confirmed the unspoken question with a conspiratorial smirk. “We don’t ask. No one wants to jinx it. But if I had to guess, I’d say it has something to do with the first patient he saw this morning.”</p><p>She fixed Jim with a meaningful look.</p><p>“You know, that cadet that came in here with you yesterday? The one with the broken wrist?”</p><p>“I see...” Jim smiled knowingly, then chuckled to himself. “Atta boy, Bones,” he whispered beneath his breath as Christine led him into the aforementioned exam room.</p><p>Jim walked in and plopped down on the biobed, swinging his feet back and forth like a child about to be bribed with sweets.</p><p>He was still grinning like a fool when Leonard entered shortly after, PADD in hand.</p><p>Len quirked an eyebrow at him as he set the PADD down on the neighboring table, then walked over and began palpating the lymph nodes around Jim’s throat.</p><p>“What’s wrong with your face, kid? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile during a mandatory physical exam before, and yet, here you are lookin’ like the cat who ate the canary.”</p><p>“You’re one to talk! What’s this I hear about you and Y/N playing doctor earlier this morning?”</p><p>“I believe the ‘MD’ after my name negates the ‘playing’ part, Jim. It may have escaped your attention, but I actually <em>am </em>a doctor.”</p><p>“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Jim shot back sarcastically.</p><p>Len snorted as he took hold of Jim’s wrist to gauge his pulse. It was a bit too fast, but he had anticipated as much. “Quit your wit, and lay down for me, ya brat.”</p><p>Jim laughed as he relaxed back onto the biobed, shifting around a bit until he found a comfortable position.</p><p>“I’m just sayin’, Bones... You don’t have to give me the details if you don’t want. But I’m glad you guys are finally working things out.”</p><p>Len reached under Jim’s golden command shirt and started pressing on his abdomen, going through the mental checklist of the internal organs as he kept up the conversation. </p><p>He knew distractions helped Jim stay calm in medical circumstances.</p><p>“I don’t know what you think you’ve heard here, kid, but-”</p><p>“Don’t go givin’ me that crap about doctor/patient confidentiality. Thanks to you, half this ship knows what color boxers I wear.”</p><p>“Pretty sure it’s more than half by now, actually.”</p><p>Len snickered at his friend’s death glare.</p><p>“What’d you expect? Gossip spreads like Andorian shingles through these hollow tin cans. And it ain’t <em>my </em>fault you took off half-naked through the halls, shoutin’ about killer clowns.”</p><p>“Maybe not, but you certainly didn’t have to alert the entire bridge crew about it.”</p><p>“Hey, I was only tryin’ to reach Spock. <em>He’s </em>the one who answered the call on the main screen. Let it serve as a lesson to you that next time I tell you <em>not </em>to eat alien fruit, you should try listenin’ for a change, <em>Captain</em>.”</p><p>“...I hate you.”</p><p>“I know you do.”</p><p>Len finished his palpation routine, then straightened back up to give Jim room to maneuver.</p><p>“Alright. Bend your knee up. No, not <em>that </em>one, dumbass. Your bad one.”</p><p>Jim scoffed petulantly as he raised his right leg instead. </p><p>“I don’t <em>have </em>a bad knee, Bones. You fixed it like ten times over, remember? How long are you gonna keep harpin’ on about it?”</p><p>“Oh, I dunno, Jim... Maybe till you get full range of motion back and you can manage your five mile runs without limpin’ in here afterwards for a cortisone shot and cold pack? I hope you got that hengrauggi’s insurance information...”</p><p>“Must’ve slipped my mind while I was running for my life. I’ll try to do better next time.”</p><p>“Mhm...”</p><p>Len pressed around the patella, looking for tenderness and swelling, then took hold of Jim’s ankle and manipulated the knee joint through a practiced series of motions.</p><p>“Still a bit tight in there, kid.”</p><p>“...I’m not touching <em>that </em>line with a thirty-foot pole.”</p><p>“Grow up. And <em>sit </em>up while you’re at it.”</p><p>Jim levered himself back into an upright position and swung his legs off the table, then swayed heavily. “Woah...”</p><p>Len frowned and reached out to steady his friend.</p><p>“You alright, Jim?”</p><p>The Captain pressed his right thumb and forefinger against his eyelids before blinking heavily to clear his wavering vision.</p><p>“Yeah... Yeah, sorry. Just got a bit lightheaded for a sec. Must’ve sat up too fast. I’m fine.”</p><p>Len took a moment to really <em>look </em>at Jim.</p><p>Once the cocky smile had drifted from the kid’s face, Len could see the exhaustion in the faint bruising around his eyes and his sunken complexion.</p><p>He should have seen this coming.</p><p>“Having trouble sleeping again, huh?”</p><p>It was more of a statement than a question.</p><p>From what Len had discerned over the years, Jim had been an insomniac ever since he was a young child. His friend was inclined to push himself until he crashed, recovered after a few hours of being practically catatonic, then did it all over again.</p><p>It was a dangerous and destructive pattern; one that Len had repeatedly tried to help Jim break.</p><p>He sighed in resignation. “I'm afraid to ask, but when was the last time you slept more than four hours?”</p><p>“Don’t give me that look, Bones. For your information, I slept <em>six </em>hours.”</p><p>“Yeah? In one go? Or cumulatively over the course of the past week?”</p><p>Nothing but crickets.</p><p>“That’s what I thought. Damn it, Jim... I thought we had an agreement that you’d come to me whenever things got this bad again?”</p><p>Jim dropped his gaze in poorly concealed shame.</p><p>“...I’m sorry, Bones. I’m not doing it on purpose. I just... Things have been really hectic lately. I can’t always get my brain to shut off when it should.”</p><p>Len knew it wasn’t actually Jim’s fault. Back at the academy, he used to tease the kid about his coffee addiction, wondering if the beverage flowed through Jim’s veins rather than blood.</p><p>When Len had come home after a long shift at the hospital, he’d find Jim sitting at the table, reading some incredibly complex book that wasn’t even part of the curriculum, or trying to solve an unsolvable equation. Anything to really challenge himself.</p><p>And when Len woke up the next morning to go to class, Jim would still be sitting there, right where he had left him the night before, working on something completely different.</p><p>Concern growing with each new occurrence, Leonard would ask if his friend had gotten any sleep, and Jim would laugh it off every time.</p><p>He would blame it on the stress of exams, or the insane workload he was handling due to his determination to graduate in <em>three </em>years instead of four, like he had cockily bragged to Pike back in Iowa.</p><p>There were occasions when Jim would go for days without sleep, claiming that he needed to cram for an upcoming assignment. </p><p>But everyone on campus knew that Jim was at the top of all his classes, and ‘studying’ was no more than a way for him to pass the time.</p><p>The more Leonard asked about it, the more Jim shied away or invented increasingly ridiculous excuses.</p><p>Len hadn’t understood any of it, but he grew to accept it. It just became part of their normal routine.</p><p>Then came that fateful night when Jim dragged him out for drinks to celebrate the end of their first-year exams, and admittedly, Len should have cut him off hours earlier. It had just been so nice to see the kid finally relaxing for once.</p><p>But as Len carried him back home and dumped him into bed, Jim had let slip a mumbled plea that sounded horribly like <em>“Can’ sleep yet, Bones. Gotta feed my kids before they start cryin’, or Kodos will find ‘em...</em>”</p><p>Len’s blood had instantly turned to ice, and he was sure the few bourbons he had drank were going to make a reappearance.</p><p>He remembered hearing about Kodos and Tarsus IV on the news a little over a decade ago. </p><p>He had just begun classes at the University of Mississippi, and the footage they aired of the massacre and the state of the starved survivors made Len all the more convinced that he wanted to become a doctor to help those in need.</p><p>Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he’d ever come across one of those survivors though.  Hell, Jim couldn’t have been more than thirteen at the time of the crisis.</p><p>Leonard had wanted to believe that it was nothing more than drunken ramblings, but the truth was staring him right in the face, and it explained so much about the enigma that was Jim.</p><p>That same night, Jim’s uneasy sleep had been plagued with horrible nightmares. To this day, Len could still hear the sounds of his best friend screaming.</p><p>He never again teased the kid about his refusal to sleep, but he made it his mission to help Jim in any way he could.</p><p>It took a few more months of bonding before Jim felt comfortable enough to open up to Len about his painful past, but once he got started...</p><p>That had been the most emotional night of Leonard’s life. Hell, he hadn’t even taken his own divorce that badly.</p><p>Between the abuse Jim had suffered at the hands of his stepfather and the horrors he had faced on Tarsus, it was no surprise that the kid was terrified of sleeping.</p><p>When you’re asleep, you’re vulnerable to attack. And Jim hadn’t felt safe enough to let his guard down for decades.</p><p>That night, Len had sat in a chair by Jim’s bed with the promise to wake him as soon as the nightmares started. He woke him up six times before the sun rose.</p><p>Three days in a row this happened, and Len was starting to feel as rundown as Jim.</p><p>Once he realized this wasn’t going to be a long-term solution, he switched the uncomfortable chair out for a mattress on the floor in Jim’s room so they could both try to get some sleep. </p><p>The bedrooms weren’t built to house two full beds, so it wasn’t ideal. But it was still better than the stupid chair.</p><p>Eventually, they moved both of their beds out into the living room so that they were only a few feet apart. Len had given up on the idea of privacy shortly after Jim had become his roommate. </p><p>The kid wasn’t exactly shy. And it wasn’t like they had tons of visitors either.</p><p>It took weeks of waking Jim throughout the night before Leonard started seeing any improvement, but it <em>did </em>come, much to his relief.</p><p>The proper sleep took ten years off the kid’s appearance.  He didn’t seem as worn down anymore, and there was a new sparkle in his eyes like he was seeing the world in a different light.</p><p>It had been quite the long road to get to that point, but it had been worth every minute.</p><p>From that moment on, Jim trusted Len implicitly. And Len guarded that trust like the rare jewel that it was.</p><p>The kid had made a miraculous recovery and Len thought they were finally out of the woods. That is, until their Survival Strategies course spent two weeks covering the Tarsus incident and undid all of their hard work.</p><p>Len realized in that moment that Jim’s mental wounds would never fully heal. His past would always be a part of him, and certain triggers would continue to reopen those scabs, bringing back his nightmares and PTSD.</p><p>The best he could do was talk him down and be there to keep the reckless kid alive.</p><p>Len sighed and gave his best friend’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “I know you’re tryin’, Jim. I just wish it wasn’t so hard for you to put yourself first once in a while.”</p><p>Jim smiled sadly up at him. “I’ve got an entire crew under my command now, Bones.  I can sleep when I’m dead.”</p><p>“No need to rush towards that finish line though. How bad are the tension headaches?”</p><p>Len stepped around the bed and came up behind Jim, pressing gently against the base of his skull, along the sides of his neck, and across his upper shoulders.</p><p>Jim flinched beneath the touch, letting out a low hiss. The kid was knotted up worse than a ball of twine.</p><p>“That’s what I thought,” Len stated, then administered a hypo against Jim’s neck as quickly and painlessly as he could.</p><p>Nevertheless, Jim jerked away with a yelp. “Ah!  What the hell...? Bones, please tell me you didn’t just...”</p><p>“Relax, Jim. It was just a pain reliever and muscle relaxer. It’ll help you get through the rest of the day, but it won’t knock you out.”</p><p>Jim tentatively rolled his head from side to side and let out a relieved breath when the pain and stiffness abated. “Thanks.”</p><p>Len had learned long ago that Jim handled hypos better when he didn’t have to see them coming.  He patted the kid gently on the back, then circled around to stand in front of him again.</p><p>“I’d order you off shift if I thought you’d actually adhere to my authority, but since I know you won’t, I want you to get some proper sleep tonight, understood?”</p><p>“I’ll try,” Jim replied quietly.</p><p>“You’ll do more than ‘try’, and if you’re not asleep by midnight, you comm me and I’ll bring you something that’ll help. You’re not goin’ on that away mission in the mornin’ if you don’t have your wits about you.”</p><p>The kid chuckled humorlessly. “I’ve done more with less, Bones.”</p><p>“Yeah, well... Not on my watch.”</p><p>Len retrieved his PADD and jotted down the stats that the biobed was reporting.</p><p>“Alright. On your feet.”</p><p>“Done already? That’s gotta be a record for you, Bones. Not that I’m complaining...”</p><p>“Keep dreamin’, kid. I’m just gettin' started. Take your shirt off.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be using these lines on your new girlfriend?” Jim grumbled as he grudgingly shrugged out of his shirt.</p><p>“She’s not my girlfriend, Jim.” Len started sticking electrodes onto his friend’s chest.</p><p>“But you want her to be, right?” Jim pressed nosily.</p><p>“What I <em>want </em>is to focus on your exam. Can we do that now?”</p><p>“No. Not until you answer the question.”</p><p>Len threw his hands in the air in resignation.</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>. Truth is, I really like her, alright? But I’m not lookin’ to put labels on anything just yet.”</p><p>“So... that’s a yes then?”</p><p>“You’re impossible, you know that?” Len grumbled as he finished sticking the last two patches just under Jim’s collarbones.</p><p>“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, Bones. And what the hell are you doing, anyway?” he added, looking down at himself in confusion.</p><p>Len rolled his eyes. <em>Took the kid long enough to ask</em>…</p><p>“You’re overdue for a stress test. Come on. Cardio lab’s next door.”</p><p>Jim groaned. “Is this really necessary?”</p><p>“Damn right it is.”</p><p>Len started guiding Jim towards the door, but the kid stopped short and turned back around.</p><p>“Answer me one last question first.”</p><p>Len huffed out a sigh. “No, we did not have sex on the biobed when she came in for her exam this morning.”</p><p>Jim blinked at him. “Good to know, I guess... But my question is, when are you gonna see her again?”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Len scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.</p><p>“As it so happens, I invited her over for dinner tonight. Been a while since I’ve had a good home-cooked meal and figured, I might as well share it.”</p><p>Jim’s boyish smile spread from ear to ear.</p><p>“Aww... That’s adorable, Bones. Is this your first official date with her?”</p><p>“It’s not a <em>date</em>, Jim.”</p><p>“Uh, beg to differ.”</p><p>“We are just two colleagues sharing a meal together.”</p><p>“Hate to break it to you, man, but you and I share meals all the time as ‘colleagues’, and you’ve never <em>once </em>cooked for me in your quarters.”</p><p>“Well of course I haven’t. I mean, you aren’t... She’s more of...” Len deflated. “Oh, god. It really is a date, isn’t it?”</p><p>Jim winced on his behalf.</p><p>“Definitely a date.”</p><p>Leonard sat down heavily on the vacated biobed. “I don’t ‘date’, Jim. I haven’t been on one since I first met Jocelyn for cryin’ out loud. What the hell was I <em>thinkin’</em>?!”</p><p>Len dropped his head into his hands, mumbling to himself and breathing heavily.</p><p>“You’re gonna be fine, Bones. Just woo her with that southern charm of yours, and don’t cook anything with onions or garlic. Believe me, you’ll thank me later.”</p><p>Jim smirked as he approached his friend and patted him on the back sympathetically.</p><p>“Hey. Try not to let your head do all the thinking this time around, alright? And don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m pretty sure <em>you </em>need this stress test now more than <em>I </em>do...”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really hope you liked this chapter, despite the lack of our favorite Dr. Insert.<br/>If you find the time, please leave a comment. They are a tremendous help when it comes to boosting my creativity and making the muse stick around! 😉<br/>I always love to hear from you and stay connected with you.<br/>As I have said before: When I started out writing this story, I did it primarily for myself. But after having decided to share it with the world, it has turned into so much more.<br/>You have become an important part of this journey, which is why hearing from you, getting to know your thoughts and ideas, anything you are willing to share with me really has become important to me.<br/>I know, I know. This is sounding slightly pathetic, again. 🙄<br/>But believe me, as a writer who uploads her stories to the Archive... we tend to live for those comments.<br/>So if you are wondering whether to write one or not... just do! 😊<br/><br/>End of <em>fishing for comments</em>. </p><p>Stay safe out there, wherever you are!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally, Dr. Insert and Dr. McCoy have their dinner.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all!<br/>It has not been easy to find time to sit down and write during the past weeks. I am terribly sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long.<br/>But now- here we are, Dr. Insert is on her way to meet Dr. McCoy for their dinner.<br/>This chapter ended up being a little longer than my usual chapters, but I assumed you wouldn't mind.<br/>As always: a shoutout to my friend and partner in crime <b>SHTWSPNSH</b>: Thank you for your time and input and beta-magic!</p><p>I also want to take a moment to thank you all:<br/>As you know, this fic is very important to me, and I am so thankful for your support, your comments, your encouragement, and your feedback throughout the story (the entire series, really). I see you!<br/>And I feel like I know you all, as you keep returning to me and my story, chapter by chapter, letting me in on your thoughts.<br/>This means a lot to me, and I felt the need to say a very special THANK YOU to:</p><p><b>  wekingsandprettythings, Rae, Einst2065, tetralibria, Trick, Uniethen, MedicateMeDrMcCoy, Spacedancer, Finnegancat, Payton, Changeling Child, 13101999, Holarious969, Cactus_flower2, Salmuabe, Thequeenofthefallen, BuckyBearBabe98, MsCheeta1987, ShaWalt, Pharm, ButterflyMama78, Stargazer55, AlhenaBlack, Violet, AmandaBaker852 and HotColdSoda </b> </p><p>for taking the time to comment so regularly on my work! I love getting the little notifications that let me know one of you is back to my story and willing to share their thoughts!<br/>I hope I didn't forget anyone!! 😅</p><p>Of course, also thank you to everyone else, who left kudos and read and liked this writing adventure of mine! It keeps amazing me how many people want to read what I write. </p><p>It is hard to put this whole experience here on the Archive in words... so I better stop rambling and babbling about it all and let you get to the actual story! That's why you are here for after all, right? 😉</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were running late. Before leaving your room, you had figured out where to find the CMO’s quarters with the help of the computer. But for all the good it did, you still found yourself taking a few involuntary detours along the way.</p><p>Despite all the miles you had walked through these corridors since your arrival on board, you continued to have trouble navigating the Enterprise. Most of the decks looked exactly the same, especially in the residential parts of the ship.</p><p>After your physical, the day had passed by quickly and hadn’t left you with a lot of time to contemplate your plans for the evening.</p><p>But now... Now you couldn’t think about anything else. You were on your way.</p><p>To a home-cooked dinner. </p><p>With Len.  </p><p>In his quarters.  </p><p>With each step, you got more and more nervous. Your palms were sweaty, and you had to exhale forcedly as you tried to relax. Your spinning thoughts hadn’t made it any easier to focus.</p><p>
  <em>Come on, it’s Len!  </em>
</p><p>You had spent so much time with the man during the past year. Hours on hours in the OR, side by side. You were able to pull off one little dinner…</p><p>It probably didn’t even mean anything. He was just trying to be nice. To do his duty as the CMO and make sure you ate a proper meal before the away mission in the morning. It’s not as if this was a <em>date</em>.</p><p>And yet... You were really hoping it was more than that.</p><p>When your shift had ended, you had opened the small wardrobe next to your bed, looked at its content – and the content had stared back at you in disenchantment.</p><p>You didn’t want to wear your uniform, but since you had not bothered packing a lot of clothes, all you were left with was your one pair of loose-fitting jeans and the Starfleet standard issued black t-shirt.</p><p>Well, either that or your running clothes. And date or not, that simply wasn’t an option.</p><p>You turned around a corner and were finally facing the CMO’s quarters. Before you could stop yourself, you had knocked.</p><p>
  <em>God… what am I doing here?</em>
</p><p>Right when you had convinced yourself in your mental debate that it would probably be best to just turn around and leave, the door slid open and Len stood in front of you.<br/>
You had seen him in his civilian clothes once or twice during your residency and you always liked what you had seen.</p><p>Today was no exception. The sleeves of the blue button-down shirt he wore to his jeans were rolled up casually, the two top buttons had been left undone and revealed his bare skin. It was hard for you not to stare. The man looked amazing in blue.</p><p>“Y/N! Come on in!” He smiled as he stood aside, gesturing for you to enter. “I was about to send out a search party for you...”</p><p>You managed to lift your eyes off his chest.</p><p>“I am really sorry for being late, Len,” you stated and could not help but notice a fond tug at the corners of his lips when he heard the nickname fall from your lips as you stepped through the door and passed him by. “Turns out I still don’t know my way around this giant boat just yet.”</p><p>“Took me a while to settle in as well,” he admitted with an embarrassed laugh that you found incredibly endearing. “Kept tryin’ to get to the bridge and somehow ended up in engineering instead! Jim still teases me about that relentlessly...”</p><p>You chuckled a bit at his expense. “I bet he does.”</p><p>“Damn kid. Anyway... You’ll get the hang of it. Till then, make yourself at home,” he told you. “I need to check on the food in the kitchen. Had to keep it warm...” Len’s voice trailed off as he disappeared into a small room to your right.</p><p>You took a look around. “Wow.”</p><p>You had stepped into a living room area, not unlike the one in Len’s apartment back at the academy, albeit slightly smaller.</p><p>There was a couch, a small coffee table, and a sideboard on the opposite wall. A couple of old-fashioned picture frames were set up on it.</p><p>Faces you didn’t know smiled at you as you wondered who those people might be and what role they played in Len’s life to have earned the honor to be displayed in his quarters.</p><p>You had not noticed any pictures or holos in Len’s office or his apartment back on Earth. But then – you had not exactly been sober or in the right mindset to take in a lot of your surroundings when you had spent the night there.</p><p>The door to your right led to an actual kitchen where Len was clattering around with some dishes, and there was another door right across the entrance.</p><p>“There sure is a two-class society on board this ship,” you mumbled loudly as you walked towards the kitchen. “I can cook, brush my teeth and take a shower without even leaving my bed. A sonic shower, mind you. This-,” you stretched out your arms, “is a ballroom!”</p><p>“I’ve certainly slept in worse,” Len looked up at you and chuckled, then resumed stirring the contents of a large pot on the stovetop. “There sure are some benefits to being one of the senior officers on board.”</p><p>The small table next to the counter was already set for two.</p><p>“They make you pay for it with all the damned paperwork though. PADDs up to my eyeballs with everything from dietary requests to blood testing for unexplained symptoms. Don’t even get me started on Keenser...”</p><p>“Never a dull moment, right?”</p><p>“Darlin’, you don’t know the half of it.”</p><p>You felt your cheeks blush a bit at the endearment. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy hearing him say it.</p><p>Len took that exact moment to look up and catch your eye. He saw your blush and cleared his throat uncomfortably. For the first time since you had arrived, you realized he was as nervous about tonight as you were.</p><p>Perhaps there was more to it than ‘just dinner’ after all...</p><p>“Right. Well... Why don’t you go ahead and take a seat? I’ll have the food out there in a just a sec.”</p><p>You did as you were told, while Len put on gloves and retrieved a steaming casserole from the oven. The smell of roasted chicken filled the air.</p><p>“That smells delicious,” you said reflexively, your stomach suddenly reminding you that you had not eaten all day and that, to your surprise, you realized you were actually pretty hungry.</p><p>“It ain’t easy cookin’ up here when half of the proper ingredients are missin’. Had to replicate a few things. Let’s hope I didn’t butcher the family recipe...”</p><p>Len frowned as he placed the food on the table, then turned around to get another steaming pot from the stove.</p><p>Your eyes grew wide at the amount of food he was continuing to stack in front of you.</p><p>“Who else are you expecting, Len? Did you invite the whole ship to join us?”</p><p>He looked at the array of dishes in contemplation. “Might’ve overdone it a bit... Growin’ up, I only learned how to feed a whole house of hungry mouths.”  </p><p>He shrugged nonchalantly, then began loading the plates.</p><p>“I take it you come from a big family then?” you asked, continuing the conversation as he worked.</p><p>“You’re lookin’ at lucky number two out of five kids. Bless my mama, she sure had her hands full till my older sister, Donna, and I were old enough to help with the rugrats.”</p><p>“Surely your father must have helped as well?” you hedged, trying to learn more about the man sitting across from you.</p><p>Len’s face fell a bit.</p><p>“He tried his best. He was a doctor too, ya know. Wasn’t really home much. Back in the day, I never appreciated how consuming the job could be. Made me furious when he missed all the important stuff like birthdays and my younger siblings’ first steps.  Guess it was inevitable that I followed in the old man’s footsteps.”</p><p>“From what I can tell, you clearly got some of your mother’s genes as well!”</p><p>Len laughed easily at that and whatever had darkened his expression a moment ago was gone.</p><p>“Reserve judgment on that till after you’ve tried it. I would offer you some wine to go with it, but you really shouldn’t be drinkin’ with those painkillers still in your system.”</p><p>“Next time then,” you said faster than you could think and quickly dropped your gaze as he looked up at you in surprise.</p><p>Before he could reply, you asked quickly, “Are those... grits?”</p><p>"Not just any old grits,” he beamed at you. “These here are the best damned grits you'll ever eat in your life. My mama's recipe, straight outta Georgia."</p><p>You looked closely at the full plate Len had placed in front of you.</p><p>There was some chicken casserole topped with cheese and crispy breadcrumbs next to the grits, garnished with a handful of green salad. It truly smelled lovely, but you still hesitated, biting your lower lip while Len looked at you expectantly.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you need permission to get started...” he teased before stuffing a bite of chicken into his mouth.</p><p>You tentatively reached for your fork and finally took a small bite of the grits.</p><p>"Oh my gosh...” You were pleasantly surprised when the food on your tongue led to a taste explosion. “These are fantastic, Len!” You took another bite while he smiled at you fondly.</p><p>“Told ya they’re good,” he bragged with a cocky wink.</p><p>Eating had been nothing more than a necessity over the past few weeks. Something you did when pressed, but that didn’t give you any pleasure. It had been a mere task to fulfill in order to keep going. </p><p>But sitting in this small kitchen, in the company of Len and eating his homecooked meal made you realize what you had been missing out on. And it was not just the food that was nourishing.</p><p>After a few more bites you broke the silence that had fallen between you while you ate.</p><p>“So, you grew up in Georgia?”</p><p>“Born ’n raised,” he said proudly as he sat up just a little straighter.</p><p>You pointed over to the sideboard in the living room. “Are those pictures of your siblings?”</p><p>He turned around to follow your gaze. “Yeah, that’s them alright. My mom got those antique frames for me the last time I visited. Wanted me to take somethin’ from home with me to the stars.</p><p>“She still lives in this huge house out in the country, with Donna and her family. The others are scattered amongst the Class M planets.”</p><p>“Do you ever get to see them?”</p><p>He turned his attention back at you.</p><p>“Not as often as I’d like. But what about you? Any brothers or sisters?”</p><p>While you gave him some insight into your family life, you stopped eating and started to poke at the food on your plate absentmindedly.</p><p>Len nodded at your plate. “You know, the food won’t get better by shoving it from one side of the plate to the other ‘til it gets cold.”</p><p>You looked up at him and found hazel eyes staring back in concern.</p><p>“You alright?”</p><p>“Yeah. Sorry. Got a bit lost in thought for a moment there.”</p><p>“I shouldn’t have pried...”</p><p>“No. No, it wasn’t that. Just had a long day is all.”</p><p>In truth, your stomach was already at the brink of capacity. The meal had been designed to be hearty and filling, and with your lack of interest in eating lately, your stomach felt as if it had shrunk down to the size of a walnut.</p><p>The last thing you wanted to do was chance throwing up the small amount you had managed to eat so far. Especially in Len’s presence.</p><p>He watched as you continued to play with your food rather than eat it.</p><p>“I can make you something else if you’d like,” he offered, that sense of inadequacy back in his voice. “Southern cookin’ ain’t for everyone.”</p><p>You hated yourself for putting that tension in his voice.  At the hospital, he was confident. Sure of himself and every call he made. He was a master of his trade, and a vision to behold.</p><p>But sitting here, feeling judged by your lack of interest in the meal he had no doubt toiled over for hours... He was vulnerable. There was even a tinge of hurt in his mannerisms, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.</p><p>You were quick to try and reassure him.</p><p>“That’s not the issue, I promise. I can’t remember the last time I ate food this incredible, Len. Truly. I’d eat it three times a day if I could. I’ve just reached my limit is all. I don’t think I could eat another bite if I tried.”</p><p>At this, both his eyebrows shot up. “I think we need to discuss how much food makes a decent meal. You’re not gonna be able to function properly with three bites of food in ya.”</p><p>“I know,” you admitted apologetically. “I’m working on it. I just... It can’t be fixed in one night.”</p><p>“If this is your way of securin’ another homecooked meal with me, all ya had to do was ask,” he teased lightly, earning a genuine laugh from you.</p><p>“You caught me,” you joked back, making Len snort.</p><p>“Full or not, you ain’t leavin’ here till you’ve tried my mama’s pecan pie.”</p><p>He stood and made his way back to the kitchen, returning shortly after with two plates of sliced pie. He presented one to you with a broad smile on his face.</p><p>“This here is a secret recipe of Eleanora McCoy’s. She’d be very offended if you don’t have at least one bite.”</p><p>The pie looked good, but you didn’t feel like eating anymore. Your stomach was already tying itself in knots at the smell alone, but Len looked so proud of the pie that you didn’t want to disappoint him.</p><p>You reached for your fork and took a small bite under his expectant eyes.</p><p>There was yet another explosion of flavors in your mouth and you moaned in delight, closing your eyes to savor the taste.</p><p>“This is so good, Len,” you said with your mouth still half full. “Your mother sure knows how to impress.”</p><p>He nodded and smiled at you proudly. “I shall pass the praise along next time I comm her.”</p><p>“I might have to pry her secret recipe out of you at some point..."</p><p>"You're welcome to try all you like. Truth is, I don't have the foggiest clue how she does it."</p><p>You blinked at him in confusion. "But... Then how did you...?"</p><p>"Cause she told Jim, of all people,” Len chuckled. “Made him promise to program it into my personal replicator so I'll always have a little taste of home while I'm away. In case you haven't noticed, he has a tendency to hack into things."</p><p>“This is entirely replicated?” You took another bite, despite your better judgment. “And she trusted Jim with the family recipe over her own son?!"</p><p>"It's that damned charm of his. He could charm the knickers off a nun if given half a chance."</p><p>Oh yes, you had personally witnessed Kirk’s charm in action. "He must be really good at keeping secrets then."</p><p>"You don't know the half of it. Kid is like a mental Fort Knox. And the only weakness I've found in his defenses so far is to ply him with copious amounts of liquor. But I can promise you, dealing with a hungover Jim the next mornin' just ain't worth it. If he wants to open up, it’s best to sit back and let him come to you."</p><p>"You two really are close, huh?"</p><p>"For better or for worse. He'll always be family. No matter what kinds of crazy shenanigans he ropes me into over the years... To this day, my mama gets personally offended if he doesn't attend every holiday to share in her cookin'."</p><p>“I’m glad he has someone looking out for him. Even if you did throw up on him when you first met,” you chuckled.</p><p>“Never gonna live that down, am I?” Len grumbled, though his eyes sparkled with affection at the memory. “What can I say? Aviophobia and a liquid breakfast don’t mix. Crazy kid took it all in stride though. Even gave me his barf bag and kept me distracted till we landed.”</p><p>“That’s kind of adorable, Len. You sure you two aren’t married?” you teased him.</p><p>He shot a playful scowl your way. “Shut up and finish your damned pie.”</p><p>You ate more than half the slice before you surrendered and pushed your plate away from you, then took a sip of the water Len had placed on the table before leaning back in your chair with a satisfied sigh.</p><p>“See what a difference a proper meal can make?” The smile he gave you made your heart melt in your chest.</p><p>You <em>were</em> feeling better. More than that, you were feeling content and cared for.</p><p>This man in front of you was able to create a warmth that ran through your body and touched the very depth of your soul, a feeling you had never experienced before.  Certainly not with Andrew.</p><p>You found yourself wanting to know more about him, and the conversation flowed easily.</p><p>“You once told me that you didn’t like being out in the Black.”</p><p>“Damn right I don’t. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.  Why anyone would love it is beyond me.”</p><p>You could definitely relate, but his answer prompted a question you had been dying to ask for quite some time now. “Then why did you join Starfleet? A brilliant surgeon such as yourself surely could get his pick of locations, many of which are safely on the ground.”</p><p>Len winced. “That there is a long story, darlin’.”</p><p>You shrugged innocently. “We’ve got time.”</p><p>“Right...” He sighed heavily and pushed his own plate away. There were still a few bites of pie left, but it seemed he had lost his appetite. “Truth is, Starfleet kinda seemed to be the only option for me at the time.”</p><p>The tone in his voice made you sit up slightly. “May I ask why?”</p><p>Len nodded solemnly, fiddling with the glass in his hands so he didn’t have to look you in the eye.</p><p>“Short version is I had a run of bad luck that nearly did me in. My old man got sick, we nearly lost the family farm, and uh...”</p><p>He finally glanced up again, steeling himself to gauge your reaction.</p><p>“And my wife asked for a divorce, then proceeded to take my savings, my car, my reputation... Hell, even my dog.”</p><p>Hang on... Len had been married? Your eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected information, but you kept your mouth shut and allowed him to continue.</p><p>“I had hit rock bottom, so to speak. Lost myself in the bottle for a while there, then ran into Captain Pike of all people while out drownin’ my sorrows. Lemme tell ya, that man gives one hell of a recruitment speech.</p><p>“Next thing I knew, I was on a shuttle headed for Starfleet, and the rest you already know.”</p><p>Well, you <em>thought </em>you had known the man before, but as it turns out, you barely knew Leonard McCoy at all.</p><p>As much as you didn’t want to be that person who only hears one part of the epic story, you couldn’t help yourself. You just had to ask.</p><p>“So, you... You were married, huh?”</p><p>“Yep,” Leonard confirmed, popping the “p”. “Didn’t last very long, but probably longer than it should’ve.”</p><p>“What happened?” you pressed, leaning forward and listening intently.</p><p>“We got married too young,” he explained simply. “We had no idea what we were gettin' into, and sure enough, we drifted apart. Like I said earlier, I became my father, and I buried my head in my work. And Jocelyn... Well, she buried herself in other men.”</p><p>You winced and felt a spark of indignation burn through your chest on Len’s behalf.</p><p>“That’s awful.  I’m so sorry, Len.  I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt when you found out.”</p><p>He waved away your pity casually.</p><p>“To be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised. And I can’t say I really blame her either. I wasn’t there when she needed me. And the more she demanded my attention, the less I gave her. So ultimately, she took everything else from me instead.”</p><p>“She must’ve had a hell of a lawyer.”</p><p>“The best her daddy’s money could buy, and he sure had plenty of it. I didn’t put up much of a fight though. Wasn’t particularly interested in keepin’ reminders of our failed marriage. My only regret from the divorce was losin’ the dog. But it’s not like I could bring him up into space with me, so I guess it was for the best.”</p><p>“Did you ever regret your decision? To join the Fleet, I mean.”</p><p>Len locked eyes with you, genuinely contemplating the question, then shook his head.</p><p>“No,” he stated firmly. “Despite all the dangers and diseases, joinin’ Starfleet was the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me purpose and some of the happiest memories of my life. Without it, I never would’ve met you, and that would’ve been a cryin’ shame.”</p><p>“Then we should be thankful to both of our exes, even though I didn’t join to get away from mine. It was quite the opposite, actually. Gave up my residency in Boston to come to San Francisco for him, then signed up so we could stay together.”</p><p>You let out a huff of humorless laughter.</p><p>“Obviously, that didn’t work out in the end either.”</p><p>You looked at each other for a few moments in silence before Len continued in a soft and low voice.</p><p>“You know, my offer still stands. If you want to talk about it… Any of it. I’m here for you.”</p><p>“I appreciate that,” you reassured. “But there is really nothing to talk about.”</p><p>“‘Nothin’ would not have brought three patients to my Medbay yesterday...”</p><p>“I’m not saying it was a perfect relationship. Far from it, really. But it’s over now, and I just want to leave it in the past.”</p><p>If only it were that easy...</p><p>You swallowed hard, fighting back the emotions and memories that threatened to overwhelm you. Now was not the time to deal with them. Not while you were enjoying your evening with Len.</p><p>The attentive doctor reached out with his hand and protectively placed it over yours on the table. It felt warm and you closed your eyes for a moment at the touch before giving him a small but grateful smile.</p><p>“I don’t wanna overstep here, but if what he did to you is still keepin’ you from taking proper care of yourself, maybe it could be helpful to talk to someone about what happened?”</p><p>You looked deeply into his concerned eyes, a sense of desperation and a flicker of hope tightening your chest. “Did that... Did that help Jim deal with his problems?” you asked tentatively, unable to ignore the obvious parallels you two shared.</p><p>Len sighed, shaking his head as he tenderly began rubbing circles along the back of your hand with his fingers. </p><p>“Jim has a deep distrust of the medical field. I tried to get him help multiple times, but I’m afraid in his case, therapy might do more harm than good. It doesn’t have to be like that for you though.”</p><p>You dropped your eyes and shifted uncomfortably.</p><p>“Len, I...”</p><p>“You don’t have to decide now, alright? Just promise me you’ll consider it. And if you decide to give it a shot, I have some connections that could keep it off the Starfleet record. Just say the word and I’ll call in a few favors.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” you placated, then watched as the smile spread across his lips again. Man... You’d do or say just about anything to keep that look on his face.</p><p>“That’s all I ask,” he confirmed, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before releasing you in favor of collecting the plates.</p><p>You gathered up the ones he couldn’t juggle and placed them in the sink.</p><p>“Anythin’ else I can getcha?” he offered, glancing around for ideas. “I could put on a holovid or somethin’ if you’d like while I clean up...”</p><p>“Tempting, but it’s getting late. Let me help you with the dishes…”</p><p>“Nonsense,“ he cut in. “I’ve got this.”</p><p>“Okay,” you nodded, too tired to insist on helping. “I should get going then. Thanks to an overprotective CMO, I have to be in Medbay for a final checkup tomorrow morning.”</p><p>He smiled at you wryly. “Sounds like a smart man. Let me walk you back to your quarters then.”</p><p>“Oh Len, that isn’t necessary!”</p><p>“I beg to differ. Can’t have you wander around the ship lost all night...”</p><p>You bumped your shoulder playfully against him as you stood next to each other.</p><p>He walked beside you in comfortable silence as you passed through the hallways, his hand resting with the slightest touch on the small of your back, guiding you and reassuring you of his presence at the same time.</p><p>The way back to your room was a lot shorter than you had remembered, much to your disappointment. You seriously had to invest some time studying the blueprints of the Enterprise.</p><p>Before long, you came to a halt in front of your door.</p><p>“Tonight was really nice, Len. I’m glad we got the chance to talk. Thank you. For everything.”</p><p>“The pleasure was all mine!” God, his eyes were captivating.</p><p>You stood there, inches apart in the artificial night lighting of the corridor and neither of you wanted to leave the presence of the other.</p><p>Time slowed down as you felt yourself getting lost in this moment, in his eyes, in his presence.</p><p>Finally, you stepped a little closer and gave Len a light peck on the cheek while resting your hands on his chest.</p><p>“Good night, Dr. McCoy. I’ll see you in the morning.”</p><p>Then you stepped back, entered your quarters, and closed the door, leaving a blushing Leonard McCoy quite lost for words. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That was that.<br/>And yes- there is no Joanna in this story.<br/>Don’t hate me for it. In the movie McCoy doesn’t mention a daughter in this timeline- so I went with that.</p><p>As always, feel free to leave a comment. They are highly appreciated.<br/>It will take me a little longer to have the next chapter ready to post. I hope you'll bear with me. </p><p>Stay safe, stay home and... stay connected. 💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The morning after your dinner date with Len you are getting ready for your first-ever away mission.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am still alive! And I am back with the next chapter.<br/>Chapter 13 lived up to the reputation of its name and gave me a really hard time.<br/>Thanks to the amazing beta work of my friend SHTWSPNSH I managed to get it presentable - but had to cut in in two halves since it had gotten ridiculously long.<br/>I will try to post the next part soon!</p><p>Thank you for staying with me and this story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You entered the CMO’s office the next morning and found Len sitting at his desk, a cup of coffee standing next to him while he typed away on one of the PADDs that were scattered around.</p><p>The frown on his face vanished the moment he looked up and found you standing in the doorframe.</p><p>“Y/N!” A smile lit up his face and you felt your heart pound a little faster in your chest at this sight. “Come on in and have a seat!”</p><p>You smiled back at him as you stepped closer and sat down in the offered chair.</p><p>“How are you this mornin’?”</p><p>“Better than you, I guess... Len, you look terrible!”</p><p>His hazel eyes were missing the spark you so loved, he looked tired and his skin appeared to be a little paler than it should be.</p><p>“Now that’s just what every man wants to hear first thin’ in the mornin’...”</p><p>When you kept eyeing him with concern, he waved his hand dismissively and explained.</p><p>“Nothing to worry about, darlin’. Had a bit of a short night, that’s all. Some idiot from engineering managed to blow himself up in the middle of the night. Whatever he was doin’ down there, he should not have done it. Spent most of the night puttin’ him back together.”</p><p>“You were on call the night before a mission?” you asked, surprised.</p><p>“I am always on call!” He gave you another smile. “Perks of bein’ the CMO.”</p><p>“You should hire more staff, Len! I mean, being on call all the time is not a good long-term plan.”</p><p>“Is this a job application?” He smirked and lifted an eyebrow at you questioningly.</p><p>“I would need to have a closer look at the working conditions in this Medbay before I’d consider sending in my paperwork.”</p><p>“Is that so?”</p><p>“Uh huh,” you nodded, chuckling.</p><p>“Then you do that.” Len reached for the tricorder that was sitting on his desk. “And in the meantime, shall we get you cleared for the mission?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>He pointed at your right hand while he turned the tricorder on and stepped around the desk.</p><p>“Is the wrist giving you any trouble?”</p><p>“Nope, all good.” Much to the delight of your CMO, you had left the brace on, despite your own assessment.</p><p>The scanner started to whizz and hum in Len’s hands and you hoped the results would be good enough for him to sign off on your behalf.</p><p>Last night you had been eating more than you had in a long time, and despite your stomach acting up after returning to your quarters, you had managed to keep it all inside.</p><p>It had been hard to fall asleep on such a full stomach, and your thoughts had been circling around Len, and the way he had made you feel that evening hadn’t helped in that matter either.</p><p>Now that he stood close to you, getting the readings he needed, you were hyper-aware of his presence; his breath ghosting over the skin of your cheek and neck, his warm fingers dancing across your cooled skin and sending shivers up your spine…</p><p>You closed your eyes and allowed his scent to engulf you.</p><p>You wanted nothing more than to dive into this essence that was purely Len, lean in closer, feel the strong muscles of his chest beneath your fingertips, discover how he would taste on your lips, how his hands would feel if they were more intimate and less clinical, grazing along your body...</p><p>You took a deep breath to compose yourself before opening your eyes again – only to find hazel eyes, mere inches away, locking with yours, drifting closer.</p><p>At this moment there was a knock and the door to Len’s office flew open without any time lag.</p><p>Christine Chapel, the head nurse, stepped in with a sandwich in her hands. When she saw you standing so intimately close to each other, she stopped in her tracks.</p><p>“Oh... uhm. I am sorry...” she stuttered. “I didn’t mean to interrupt...”</p><p>Len took a quick step backward, bringing distance between the two of you while you chose to look down and inspect your shoes intensely with your cheeks flushed red.</p><p>“You’re not interruptin’ anythin’, Christine. I was just finishin’ Cadet Y/LN’s physical.”</p><p>He vaguely waved at you, then eyed the sandwich Christine held in her hands and deliberately ignored the knowing smirk that had appeared on his nurse’s face.</p><p>“Is that for me?”</p><p>“It sure is,” she placed the item in question on his desk. “I figured since you haven’t left Medbay yet, you didn’t get a chance to have any breakfast.”</p><p>“Christine, you are a lifesaver.”</p><p>“I know. That’s why you keep me around.” She walked back to the door, still smirking. “I’ll leave you to finish this <em>physical</em> then…”</p><p>When the door fell shut you held your breath and didn’t dare to look up. The tension in the room was palpable. Len placed the tricorder on his desk in silence and sat down again.</p><p>“So…” He cleared his throat.  “Did <em>you </em>have any breakfast this mornin’?”</p><p>You looked up sheepishly. You were sure Len would not approve of your answer. “I had some coffee.”</p><p>Len rolled his eyes and, just like that, the tension between you vanished and you were back on known ground. “A cup of coffee doesn’t count as breakfast. Not even when you pour your ridiculous amount of milk in it.”</p><p>You noted contently that he still knew how you liked your coffee.</p><p>“In that case,” you pointed at the mug on his desk, “I have to say that black coffee makes even less of a breakfast.”</p><p>Len looked at the mug in question. “Touché,” he grumbled back.</p><p>“Look, Len, I am trying to eat right again. I really am,” you explained. “But after last night, I didn’t feel very hungry this morning. I am still quite stuffed, to be honest.”</p><p>Wordlessly, Len reached for the sandwich, ripped it in half, and held one part out for you to take.</p><p>“We will beam down to Yalara in less than 30 minutes. It’s gonna be a long day and I would not recommend eating anything planet-side. You never know with alien food. The last thing you need is to upset your stomach with somethin' that'll do more harm than good."</p><p>"Understood."</p><p>“Good.” He lifted the proffered half of the sandwich a little higher. “We share this now and once we get back tonight I have quite a few leftovers to tackle.”</p><p>You pursed your lips as you reached for the offering. “Do I get to have wine this time?”</p><p>“Don’t push your luck.”</p><p>He took a demonstrative bite of his half of the sandwich.</p><p>“Does that mean I am cleared for the mission?”</p><p>He glanced over to the scanner while he chewed.</p><p>“Your stats are still off, but that was to be expected. However, there is a slight upward trend, so yes. You can come along– <em>after </em>you’ve eaten your breakfast.”</p><p>Before you could reply anything else, there was another knock and yet again the door opened without Len having to give any consent.</p><p>“Why the hell bother knockin’ if you’re just gonna step in anyway?” he growled in annoyance as Dr. M’Benga walked into the office.</p><p>“Is this a bad time?” M’Benga was surprised to find someone other than his CMO in the room. He looked from you to Len, who washed the last bites of his sandwich down with some lukewarm coffee.</p><p>“I just wanted to get the Bay handed over before you head down to Yalara. I hear you performed surgery last night?”</p><p>“I did,” Len confirmed, still chewing. He pointed towards the hallway. “Why don’t you head over to the recovery area. The engineering idiot I put back together is still asleep and in the stasis field. I’ll be right with you and fill you in on everything.”</p><p>Dr. M’Benga nodded and walked out of the room.</p><p>Len emptied his coffee while he got up to follow him. “You,” he pointed at the still untouched half of the sandwich in your hand. “Start eating, and I’ll see you in the transporter room for the beam down.”</p><p>Standing in the doorframe, he turned his head around and shouted over his shoulder, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Don’t worry about closing the door on your way out. No one in here bothers to respect it anyway.”</p><p>“Len,” you said quietly and regained his attention before he finally walked out of his office. “Thank you for taking care of me.”</p><p>Your eyes locked again, his gaze warm and soft, and a genuine smile played around his lips.</p><p>“Someone has to look out for ya, darlin’. I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>***</p><p>After obediently eating your half of the sandwich, you walked to the transporter room where the team that was going to beam down to Yalara was already assembled.</p><p>Jim stood next to Mr. Spock and there were two more security officers you had never seen before, as well as another science officer, clad in blue. From the last briefing you had attended you knew that he was Dr. Thompson, a member of the botanical division, and he was supposed to collect samples planet-side.</p><p>The plants on Yalara were said to have a lot of medical potential and the Shura knew their way around those plants. This medical knowledge, as well as the botanical resources, were the main reasons Starfleet was more than eager for the Shura to sign the contract and become the newest member of the Federation.</p><p>There was a lot to be discovered and shared and everyone was glad the Shura finally decided to initiate talks with the Federation.</p><p>In the past, all efforts to try and convince them to join had been in vain. The Shura had never even allowed a delegation to land on their planet before.</p><p>It had come as a bit of a surprise that they had signaled their interest to join now, but apparently, there had been a change in leadership amongst them which explained why they had reached out to the Federation.</p><p>Mina, the former headwoman, had died and left her daughter, Siti, in charge. The Shura were a society run by women. Men were tolerated in this matriarchy, but they didn’t have any say when it came to politics.</p><p>However, Starfleet had a lot of confidence in Jim’s negotiation skills and had entrusted him and the Flagship of the Fleet with the task of doing the final convincing, getting the paperwork done, and officially welcoming the Shura to the Federation.</p><p>When Jim saw you entering the transporter room, he stepped away from the group and came towards you.</p><p>“Good morning, Y/N! Glad to see that your wrist is healed enough to join us on this little excursion. Should be an interesting venture!”</p><p>You held up your bare right hand and flexed the fingers for show. You had taken the brace off the moment you had left Medbay.</p><p>If you were going to come along, you needed a full range of motion in your hand and the brace prevented you from having it. “It is, Captain. Dr. McCoy took good care of it.”</p><p>“I bet he did…” he chuckled beneath his breath.</p><p>You lifted an eyebrow at him. “Come again?”</p><p>“I’m just saying he’s a talented doctor. Good with his hands.”</p><p>You blushed a brilliant shade of red that brought a knowing smirk to Jim’s lips. “I suppose he is.”</p><p>“Good thing you decided to go and see the CMO after all, huh?”</p><p>“You didn’t exactly leave me with any choice in the matter…”</p><p>“It’s fine. You can thank me later.” You shook your head as he winked at you before he looked around the room, searching.</p><p>“Speaking of –would you happen to know where the CMO is?”</p><p>At that moment Leonard entered the room, a huge bag full of medical supplies hanging over his shoulder.</p><p>“Bones, you’re late!” Jim shifted his attention to the doctor, trying and failing to stifle a smirk. “Long night, I take it?”</p><p>Leonard glared at Jim. “Whatever you’re implyin’, kid, just don’t.”</p><p>“I thought I’d find you in a better mood after a night full of passion and...”</p><p>“Passionately performin’ surgical procedures on one of your engineers.”</p><p>Jim frowned. “What happened? Are they alright?”</p><p>“Stupidity is what happened. And yes, he will be fine,” Len sighed.  “You really have to make them attend more of those safety briefings, Jim.”</p><p>“But what would we need you for then?” the Captain chuckled, then pointed at the impressive bag Leonard was carrying. “What the hell is all of this?”</p><p>Leonard shot a stern look at his best friend.</p><p>“This is the medical equipment for the mission. Who knows what we could encounter down on Yalara. You should be thankin’ your CMO for having the foresight of packin’ all these supplies instead of mockin’ him.”</p><p>“Uh huh… You know, I am not planning on staying down there for a few months, Bones. It’s only a few hours. What could possibly go wrong?”</p><p>“Seriously, Jim? Now why’d you have to go and curse the mission like that?!”</p><p>Jim opened his mouth to defend himself, but Len held up a hand, effectively silencing him.</p><p>"Don’t tell me how to doctor, and I won’t tell you how to captain.”</p><p>Jim pursed his lips and narrowed his right eye in thought. “But you <em>do </em>tell me how to captain. All the damned time.”</p><p>“Which is the only reason this tin can is still afloat. And while we’re on the subject, I hope you got enough sleep last night, or else Mr. Spock will be getting the honors of talking to the Shura in your place.”</p><p>This time, both of Jim’s eyes narrowed. “You can’t bench me, Bones. Not on a mission as important as this.”</p><p>Len gave his friend a calculating once-over. “I can, and I <em>will </em>if you give me any reason to do so.”</p><p>Although Jim would never admit to it, they were coming up on the anniversary of the Tarsus IV massacre, and Len knew this week was always hard on the kid. </p><p>He had seen the first signs during Jim’s physical the day before.</p><p>The memories inevitably came flooding back every year, leaving Jim drenched in sweat and crying out in the middle of the night.</p><p>Len remembered all too well how draining those days were on the pair of them when they shared an apartment during their Academy days. A half-awake and feral Jim was not something to be taken lightly.</p><p>“I slept plenty, Bones. Nothing to worry about there.”</p><p>“Uh huh... And how many hours is ‘plenty’?”</p><p>Jim shrugged.  “...Enough.”</p><p>“As if,” Len grumbled in response, but it was clear Jim wasn’t about to elaborate. </p><p>The doctor was tempted to ask if the nightmares had begun yet, but he didn’t want to press his luck.  After this mission, he’d have a proper talk with the kid and offer whatever support he could to get him through this. </p><p>Until then, all he could do was drop baseless threats.</p><p>“I’m not kidding, Jim. If I see you start to falter down there, I’m stepping in. Your health is way more important to me than some Federation contract.”</p><p>“Duly noted, doc. But I’m fine, and I’m telling you, nothing is going to happen.  Alright? This is a milk-run, Bones. But if I get a splinter, I’ll be sure to let you know.”</p><p>With that, Jim clapped his friend on the shoulder and passed by him to check in with Scotty.</p><p>Len let out a heavy sigh as his eyes followed Jim’s path, then they locked with yours as you stepped onto the transporter pad alongside the other two security officers.</p><p>The small smile Len sent your way was heartwarming but was quickly replaced by an angry expression when he registered the missing brace.</p><p>“You have <em>got </em>to be kiddin’ me...” he muttered as he stormed up onto the platform to stand beside you. “How the hell did you manage to lose that damned wrist brace on your way from Medbay to here? When I cleared you earlier, it was still in place!”</p><p>You simply shrugged semi-apologetically. “Maybe you can help me find it later?” you teased as the captain approached, enjoying the entire myriad of expressions that crossed Len’s face in a matter of milliseconds.</p><p>“I told you I like this one, Bones, “Jim said under his breath as he got into position on the transporter pad. He cleared his throat loudly to gain everyone’s attention.</p><p>“Good morning. What a beautiful day for an away mission. Shall we get started?” He rubbed his hands gleefully against each other.</p><p>“Security will beam down first. Once you give the thumbs up, the rest of us will follow. The settlement of the Shura is just a few miles up the river from our beam down location. Due to a basalt rock formation, we won’t be able to beam down any closer.”</p><p>“Aye,” Mr. Scott, the chief Engineer confirmed. “There’s somethin’ about those damned stones ‘at interferes wi’ th’ signal up here. Ah’ll get ye as close as Ah can, but Ah am afraid there still will be a wee bit of a walk.”</p><p>Jim nodded at the Scotsman, then continued.</p><p>“The Shura will be sending an envoy to guide us to their settlement. Once we are there, we’ll get them to sign the contract, congratulate them on this newly forged alliance, exchange presents and take part in the celebrations.</p><p>“Smile and wave a little, then we’ll hit the road again before nightfall. Easy in, easy out. No big deal. Any questions?”</p><p>He looked expectantly around and when no one had anything more to say he turned around to face Mr. Scott.</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready, Scotty.”</p><p>“Aye aye, sir. Energizing now.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are getting there!!<br/>This whole away mission changed so many times in the past and is completely different from what I had envisioned it in the first place... you will see. Soon, I hope!</p><p>I would love to stay in touch with you and hear what you think of this chapter and of this story! Any theories, thoughts, feedback... is more than welcomed and will be appreciated.<br/>Thank you for your support!</p><p>I hope you all are staying safe wherever you are and that you are able to enjoy summer, despite the global pandemic...<br/>Take care!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are part of the security detail of a diplomatic mission and beam down to Yalara with Leonard, Jim, Mr. Spock as well as another science officer to meet with the Shura.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Long time no see….<br/>I am still alive, but my world got a little crazy over here and I had to rearrange my priorities for a while. <br/>But as I have said many times before – I will not abandon this series! There is still so much story to be told!<br/>To refreshen everybody’s memories… Dr. Insert had her first date with our beloved southern Doctor the night before. She was cleared for the mission to the planet Yalara in the morning and just stepped onto the transporter pad to be beamed down to the planet for an, as Jim explained, “easy in easy out” mission.</p>
<p>I hope you like where this is going.</p>
<p>As always: a massive thank you goes out to my friend and partner in crime  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHTWSPNSH/pseuds/SHTWSPNSH">SHTWSPNSH</a> for her wonderful beta-work! 💞</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You felt your entire body start to tingle as the light of the beam ray encompassed you. Next thing you knew, you were standing on a patch of grass in one of the most beautiful landscapes you had ever seen in your life.</p>
<p>There were green meadows to your left bordering a forest in the distance, and to your right there was a sea of gigantic grass, reaching all the way to the horizon. There was a turquoise stream not too far away, making its way through a canyon and flowing into a beautiful lake at the bottom of the slope you were standing next to.</p>
<p>It was warm and the sky was mostly clear and shimmered in an intense blue, more vibrant than you had ever seen it on Earth.</p>
<p>You were so stunned by the breathtaking view that it took you a moment to do your actual job. You scanned the surroundings as you had trained so many times in the past weeks and gave your “all clear”. <br/>Your senior officer commed Mr. Scott to let him know that it was safe for the rest of the team to follow.</p>
<p>Having secured the perimeters, you took advantage of being out in actual sunlight and stepped a little closer towards the edge of the slope, taking in the astonishing view while drawing some deep breathes of fresh air.<br/>You had the feeling that the wind that was forming waves in the grassy plains to your right was singing a song and you felt yourself being lulled in by it and drawn towards the sound.</p>
<p>You had lost any concept of time as you stood there in a trance-like state and you jumped in surprise when, seemingly out of nowhere, a hand was placed on your shoulder.</p>
<p>“Easy now!” Len looked at you with slightly furrowed brows. “Didn’t wanna startle you, but,” he nodded towards the edge of the cliff, “maybe just step back a little. It’s quite the long drop from up here.”</p>
<p>You had not even noticed that you had stepped that close to the precipice.</p>
<p>You nodded slowly and took a few steps away from the steep slope. When you had brought a safe distance between you and the cliff, he gave you a small smile and squeezed your shoulder gently before letting go. His eyes, however, never left yours, and you could feel your heartbeat picking up under his intense gaze.</p>
<p>Those eyes… nervously you began to bite your lower lip as you felt the tension between the both of you grow.</p>
<p>“I, uhm, it’s just,” he cleared his throat, breaking the spell. “I thought you might wanna come along.”</p>
<p>This time he nodded towards the rest of the team that was already making its way down the slope on a small, winding pathway and towards the river, where you were supposed to meet the envoy the Shura had said they’d send to take you to their village.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course.” You turned around once more, gathering your composure. “It is just so... beautiful!”</p>
<p>You could not see Leonard smiling softly to himself at your excitement.</p>
<p>“It sure is,” he stated, coming to stand alongside you. “It does feel good to be breathing some fresh air again, doesn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Sure does,” you nodded. “And the music... It’s so soothing...”</p>
<p>You turned to your right where the sound you had been hearing the entire time seemed to be coming from, feeling drawn there again once you were giving it more attention.</p>
<p>Leonard tilted his head and listened but could not hear anything. He shook his head.</p>
<p>“There ain’t no music, sweetheart… You sure you’re alright?” He looked at you worriedly. “Tinnitus isn’t a common side-effect from beaming, but it ain’t unheard of...”</p>
<p>“Huh?” You frowned when his voice pulled you back to the here and now.</p>
<p>“Maybe this was too soon after all. Let me talk to Jim and see if we can get you sent back up to the ship.”</p>
<p>“What? No!  I’m fine, Len. Really. It was probably just the wind through the tall grass.  Come on. We should catch up to the others.”</p>
<p>The melody you had heard faded with every step you took down the pathway and was barely audible when you had reached the river, where you found the rest of the team waiting.</p>
<p>Jim was squinting his eyes as he looked around, searching.</p>
<p>“Not exactly the welcome party we were expecting, Mr. Spock...”</p>
<p>“Indeed not, Captain. But the Shura were very specific when they agreed to this meeting. In order to limit our interference with the local flora and fauna, they were to send a scout to guide us into the village.” </p>
<p>“But there is no scout,” the senior security officer pointed out the obvious.</p>
<p>Spock lifted an eyebrow. “So it would seem, Lieutenant.”</p>
<p>“When was the last time we heard directly from Siti, Spock?” Jim inquired.</p>
<p>“She confirmed the rendezvous point with our Communications officer four days ago, Captain.”</p>
<p>“Something doesn’t seem right here...” Jim shook his head as he kept scanning the surroundings.</p>
<p>“There’s always somethin’ ‘<em>not right’</em> on these missions,” Len grumbled.</p>
<p>“And don’t you secretly love it, Bones? Would be a rather dull life otherwise.”</p>
<p>Len rolled his eyes. “Contrary to you, I could do very well without those kinds of surprises.”</p>
<p>“This is part of the nature of these missions, Doctor,” Mr. Spock cut in. “As much as I despise such surprises myself, they tend to play a bigger role in this kind of activity. More specifically when the Captain is involved. You should be well aware of this fact as this is not your first rodeo.”</p>
<p>Jim had to bite back a laugh at this expression coming from his Vulcan friend.</p>
<p>“I’d be surprised if you’d recognize a rodeo if it bit you in your green-blooded ass…”</p>
<p>“Mr. Spock,” Jim said a little louder than necessary to cut off Len, “why don’t you take Dr. Thompson and the Lieutenant here and return to the Enterprise. Hail Command and see if they have any information for us.”</p>
<p>“Has it occurred to you that there is a certain… inefficiency in constantly questioning me on things you’ve already made up your mind about?”</p>
<p>“It gives me emotional security, Mr. Spock. And the question was more of a figure of speech anyway.” Jim patted the Vulcan on the back. “You’ll get there. I promise.”</p>
<p>He vaguely pointed at the rest of your team.</p>
<p>“Dr. McCoy, the rest of security and I will stay down here and proceed to the village. Maybe they just forgot we were coming. Or they got the date wrong. It happens.”</p>
<p>“Oh sure, Jim!” Len put his medical bag to the ground with a loud <em>thud </em>and glared at the Captain. ”They <em>forgot</em> about the goddamned Starfleet delegation they invited to their planet four days ago.”</p>
<p>“We’ll never know if we don’t go,” Jim smirked, then looked back at Mr. Spock.<br/>“Beam back up, get in touch with Command, and let me know what they have to say. It wouldn’t be the first time for them to <em>forget</em> passing on crucial information.”</p>
<p>You watched with a growing feeling of unease as Mr. Spock, Dr. Thompson and the security Lieutenant made their way back uphill to the extraction point.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t we have at least kept the Lieutenant down here with us?” Len inquired, and you could not help but think the same thing.</p>
<p>The Lieutenant had seemed to be a rather strong asset you’d prefer to have kept around on a foreign planet with something fishy going on.</p>
<p>Jim waved his hand. “There’s nothing around here for miles, Bones. If Bambi decides to attack, I think two trained security officers will more than suffice, don’t you?”</p>
<p>You felt your jaw tighten at his words. Yes, you might have been stuck in a red shirt at the moment, and you had undergone a few weeks' worth of training with the security division, but you were no security officer. Not really.</p>
<p>If anything more threatening than Bambi came out of those woods, you’d all be in a world of trouble.</p>
<p>Leonard shook his head in disapproval at Jim’s words.</p>
<p>“You’ve got to be kiddin’ me.”</p>
<p>You were sure that it would have been better to send <em>you</em> back up to the Enterprise with Mr. Spock and leave another fully trained officer with the Captain and Len, but at least Jim seemed to have faith in your abilities. Contrary to Len.</p>
<p>Despite feeling exactly what Leonard just had said, you could not hold back.</p>
<p>“Well thank you for your trust in me, Dr. McCoy!” You rose an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>Len gaped at you. “I, uhm, that’s not what I meant…”</p>
<p>“Alright then,” Jim interrupted. “Let’s get moving. The settlement should be just beyond those trees.”</p>
<p>“You know its location?” you wondered. Your own sense of orientation was utterly useless, so you were impressed by how Jim seemed to be able to find his way around this unknown planet so effortlessly.</p>
<p>“Never go in blind, Y/N. That’s a very important lesson to learn. This-” he pointed at his face, “is not just a pretty face, contrary to popular belief.” He winked at you, then turned around and led the way.</p>
<p>“Yeah, not very often, but sometimes the kid appears to be a well-prepared Captain for a change...” Leonard commented as he picked his bag back up again and started walking.<br/>“I heard that, Bones.”<br/>“I know you did.”</p>
<p>“Sounded strangely like words of praise. And that coming from you…”</p>
<p>“Oh, will ya just shut up!”</p>
<p>You made your way along the river. Len was cursing silently to himself as he had fallen slightly behind, handicapped by the weight of his bag. Before turning into the woods on your left, Jim stopped and waited for the CMO to catch up.</p>
<p>“Told you, you shouldn’t have brought half of the Medbay’s inventory with you, Bones.”</p>
<p>Len rose his eyebrows and lifted a finger to silence Jim as he moved past him without uttering a single word.</p>
<p>“Oh come on, Bones! You know I am right; you just can’t admit it!” </p>
<p>A little while later you reached the first tents on the outskirts of a rather deserted looking settlement.</p>
<p>You looked around and became aware of a lot of eyes staring at you from within the tents and small huts, people huddled away in their shacks. The settlement was not abandoned after all.</p>
<p>“Jim, we should get back and return with backup. This doesn’t feel right…”</p>
<p>“I have to agree with Dr. McCoy,” the security officer backed Len up. “It would be wise to reevaluate our approach.”</p>
<p>Jim shook his head and lifted his hand to silence both men, his other hand reaching for his phaser but not yet pulling it from his belt as he let his eyes wander over the scene.</p>
<p>The security officer followed suit.</p>
<p>There was an eerie silence lingering over the settlement. As you looked around more closely you found boxes, all sorts of herbs and plants scattered around the ground in between the tents and huts. And there was blood on the ground, you noticed, horrified. The air began to weigh down on you all.</p>
<p>“What the hell happened here?” Jim asked, not really expecting an answer. “Stay close together, and set your phasers to stun,” he added as he finally pulled his weapon.</p>
<p>“Now that’s reassurin’…” Len grumbled as he began fiddling with his phaser. <br/>You had hated all the phaser training in the past, but now you were thankful that at least the weapon didn’t feel completely foreign in your slightly shaking hands as you switched it into stunning mode, hoping you would not have to use it.</p>
<p>Leonard found his place next to you and you were grateful for his proximity. It made you feel safer in these surroundings. He looked at you with a comforting smile as you kept moving.</p>
<p>Further down, you found a woman standing next to one of the tents. Her skin was shimmering in an olive-green tone and she leaned against a wooden stick. Her arms were decorated with leather bracelets and she was laden with necklaces made from green grass. A Shura, no doubt.</p>
<p>She scanned the four of you and the moment she became aware of you, your eyes locked, and you were not able to turn away. Her gaze was captivating.</p>
<p>Jim tried to get her attention to shift from you to him. “Hello. My name is James Tiberius Kirk, and I am the Captain of the USS Enter…”</p>
<p>The woman held up a hand, cutting Jim off. Other than that, she ignored Jim completely. Her gaze stayed fixed on you as she approached.</p>
<p>“Okay…” Jim mumbled, looking over to Bones in slight disbelieve. “I think we might have a language barrier issue here.”</p>
<p>“You are Starfleet,” the woman stated in a low voice. You found her Standard to be rather good, actually. “You came!” A timid smile showed on her face which you could not help but reciprocate.</p>
<p>“I…,” You looked over to Jim who nodded encouragingly, then back to the woman in front of you. “Yes, we came.”</p>
<p>She touched her chest with her hand. “My name is Jelda.”</p>
<p>“My name is Y/N Y/LN,” you began by introducing yourself, then pointed towards the others. “This is Captain Kirk and Dr. Mc…”</p>
<p>“Where is the rest of your cortege?” she interrupted you.</p>
<p>“My… cortege?”</p>
<p>“You surely didn’t come with only those three males in your entourage?”</p>
<p>“Uhm…” You looked helplessly at Jim. “I… I don’t quite understand…”</p>
<p>“What she is trying to say is that we came here to negotiate the details of you joining the Federation of Planets, as requested by your headwoman, Siti. If you would be so kind as to take us to her, I am sure we’ll be able to sort everything out from there.”</p>
<p>Jelda finally looked over at Jim, unimpressed. Then she turned back to you.</p>
<p>“Is it common amongst your people for a male to speak for you without permission, my lady? Such a blatant show of disrespect would not be tolerated on our planet.”</p>
<p>Jim’s eyes widened as he began to connect the dots, and much to your surprise, he bowed his head submissively in your direction.</p>
<p>“Apologies, my lady. I meant no disrespect.”</p>
<p>Being confronted with the fact that this was indeed a female-dominated society, you had to think quickly.</p>
<p>“Things are a little different where we come from, Jelda. Jim is a trusted and loyal member of our team and he does not need my permission to speak freely.”</p>
<p>She raised her eyebrows suspiciously at that, then continued to talk to you. “I cannot take you to Siti, Y/N. She was taken. And so were our warriors.” Jelda shook her head sadly. “You’ll never be able to free them all by yourself!”<br/>“What do you mean – free them?”</p>
<p>“Siti’s brother, Arman, gathered most of the males of our tribe and with the help of the Red Captain, they overpowered Siti and the warriors… They killed everyone who was not willing to help them harvest the <em>Aver</em>. We were hoping that Starfleet would help us to get rid of the Red Captain, but they took Siti two days ago, before you arrived.”</p>
<p>Your head spun. The Red Captain? Arman? Warriors? You didn’t remember any of those names from the briefings you had attended. What the hell was going on here?</p>
<p>“What is this <em>Aver</em>?” Jim inquired and earned a disapproving look from Jelda before she turned her attention back to you.<br/>“If I am not completely mistaken it is an essential ingredient of a highly potent drug…sold expensively all over the galaxies,” Leonard explained. “Pretty similar to LSD, but much more potent. If <em>Aver</em> actually grows here on Yalara…” He took a deep breath. “This planet would be a goddammed gold mine, Jim. The<em> Aver </em>I know about needs to be synthetically manufactured! This is…”</p>
<p>McCoy never got to finish his sentence.</p>
<p>“Drop yer weapons!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't hate me for the cliffhanger. <br/>I will post again very soon, I promise. <br/>I would love to hear from you in the meantime! Please leave a comment if you can spare the time, they always make my day and mean the world to me!<br/>💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something doesn't seem right on Yalara.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a rather short chapter, I hope you'll still like it.<br/>The next one will be longer!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Drop yer weapons!”</p>
<p>Jelda broke eye contact with you, looked up, and then quickly ducked into the tent behind her, securely closing the entrance.</p>
<p>You spun around to find two shabby-looking men standing in the middle of the street, pointing their old-fashioned guns at you.</p>
<p>Their exceptionally large guns.</p>
<p>The men both appeared to be human. One of them was tall and lean, while the one who had spoken was small and chubby with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.</p>
<p>You blinked. Yes. Definitely a parrot.</p>
<p>“Are they... pirates?” you whispered in disbelieve.<br/>
You had heard about pirates, but you had never seen them in real life.</p>
<p>“Old-fashioned space pirates,” Jim corrected you.</p>
<p>“There is no such thing as <em>‘old-fashioned space pirates</em>’, Jim.“</p>
<p>“Bones, they have a parrot...”</p>
<p>“Are ye deaf or daft?” The chubby man shouted angrily and raised his weapon a little higher, playing with the trigger.</p>
<p>“Deaf or daft! Deaf or daft!” The parrot repeated croakily.</p>
<p>Jim lifted his hands above his head, still holding his phaser.</p>
<p>”Parlay?” he tried tentatively.</p>
<p>“Shut up 'n do as ye're told,” the man barked out while the lean one was giving you a blatant once over, licking his lips while his gaze lingered hungrily upon you.</p>
<p>You felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up as your body switched into fight or flight mode, not entirely sure which way to go just yet.</p>
<p>“Shut up! Shut up!“</p>
<p>“Oh Blacky, jus' shut yer beak!”</p>
<p>Leonard looked from the ragged man to you and back again. He didn’t like the predatory look on the man’s face. Protectively he stepped a little closer to you, the expression on his face stern, not leaving the man out of his sight.</p>
<p>“Gentlemen,” Jim tried one more time, “there really is no need for this! You surely have heard of the pirates’ code?”</p>
<p>“Are you out of your corn-fed mind?” Len looked at the captain as if he was seriously doubting his sanity at this very moment. “What the hell are you talkin‘ about, Jim?”</p>
<p>“He be natterin' about th' code!” The short guy chuckled darkly as he elbowed his companion, who was still staring blatantly at you.</p>
<p>“First o' all,” he continued to explain, “ye 'ave t' be a pirate fer th' code t' apply t' ye. 'n ye sure don’t look like a pirate t' me. 'n secondly, th' code be more wha' ye’d call <em>guidelines</em> than actual rules.”</p>
<p>“I see...” Jim nodded. “No code then.”</p>
<p>“He wants t' chat, Henry, did ye hear 'im?” the short guy still chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>“Look, there surely is no need for...” but Jim was interrupted by a loud warning shot that the shorter man fired into the sky, making the parrot on his shoulder flap his wings in surprise, before he repeated very slowly, “I said drop th' weapons.”</p>
<p>He then came closer and pointed his gun directly at Jim. When the clicking sound of the safety latch being released could be heard once more, everything seemed to be happening at once.</p>
<p>Jim, you and Leonard let go of your phasers, while the security officer next to him, seeing his Captain being threatened and unarmed, directed his phaser at the pirate in turn.</p>
<p>Jim’s eyes widened and he shouted at the officer to drop his weapon, but his exclamation went unheard.<br/>
Phasers were being fired and you heard another loud bang.</p>
<p>Your heart was racing, and you clenched your fists as you tried to wrap your head around what was happening, while your body chose to freeze and neither fight nor flee.</p>
<p>This was so not what you had signed up for. At all.</p>
<p>You would trade any OR or ER scenario for this situation.</p>
<p>With an expression of disbelieve on his face, the security officer fell to his knees. Blood began dripping out of the corner of his mouth, then he fell forwards and stayed motionless on the ground.</p>
<p>You gasped in shock, and when your body finally decided to move again you took a step back, bumping into Leonard who quickly reached out to steady you, leaving his arm protectively wrapped around your waist once you stopped swaying and pulling you close to him.</p>
<p>“Fuck…” you mumbled, eyes still wide in shock. “They just killed him.” You had not even known the man’s name, but that didn’t diminish your shock. “They killed him...” You could not turn away from the figure that was laying on the ground next to you.</p>
<p>The whole situation felt so surreal and yet, at the same time, there was a brutal reality to it.</p>
<p>Len’s arm around your waist anchored you and was the only thing preventing the world from spinning and taking you along.</p>
<p>“'Tis nah a game,” the short guy’s voice reached your ears.</p>
<p>It truly was no game. The proof was lying dead on the ground in front of you.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright,” you now heard Jim’s voice through the fog that had started to fill your head. "Let’s all calm down,” he tried to deescalate the situation. “How about we hand over our weapons, nice and slow, and then we talk?”</p>
<p>He kicked the phasers on the ground towards the pirates with his hands still raised above his head.</p>
<p>“Thar ain't goin' t' be any more chattin', mate.” Finally, Henry took his eyes off of you and addressed Jim. “Ye all be comin' wit' us.”</p>
<p>“Comin’ with us! Comin’ with us!” The parrot echoed.</p>
<p>Henry took a step closer to you, his hand outstretched as if he wanted to grab you by your arm. At this moment Len and Jim protectively stepped in front of you, blocking you from Henry’s view and effectively putting you out of his reach.</p>
<p>The instant he let go of you, you missed the touch of Len’s arm around your waist and the world around you began to move again. You felt unsteady on your legs and it took you a few moments to regain some control over them.</p>
<p>In the meantime, the shorter man threw some ropes on the ground, while still pointing his gun at you.</p>
<p>“Come on Henry, let's tie them up!”</p>
<p>When Henry took the rope and began to restrain you one by one, Jim didn’t put up a fight, and neither did Len.</p>
<p>You followed their example and held still, hands crossed on your back when Henry finally made his way around the captain and the CMO to you.</p>
<p>Len turned slightly, never letting him out of his sight, but that didn’t prevent you from feeling Henry’s breath on your neck and the touch of his hands on your skin while he tied you up.</p>
<p>Once your wrists were securely fastened on your back, he dropped his hands to your hips and then lower, greedily squeezing your backside, making you take a quick step forward to bring some distance between him and you.</p>
<p>“Easy there, asshole! Leave the lady alone, you filthy piece of shit!” Len growled at Henry.</p>
<p>“Alright, that's enough,” the shorter man exclaimed. “Let's get goin', Henry.”</p>
<p>“Goin’ Henry! Goin’ Henry!”</p>
<p>“Oh will ye jus' shut up, Blacky?” Henry yelled annoyed at the bird that was still sitting on his companion’s shoulders while stepping away from you and almost stumbling over the medkit Leonard had dropped to the floor. “I swear, one o' these days I'll stuff ye!” Angrily, he kicked the bag out of his way.</p>
<p>Your head spun and you had trouble keeping your breathing under control.</p>
<p>This was not supposed to happen.</p>
<p>Len moved to your side once again, his shoulder slightly bumping into you, trying to get your attention. He caught your gaze and gave you a small smile. “You ok?”</p>
<p>Not able to smile back at him, you just gave him a small nod before the men ushered all three of you along the path that led out of the village.</p>
<p>“Stuff ye! Stuff ye!”</p>
<p>Blacky’s cries could have made the entire situation feel almost comical, had it not been for the two men behind you, pointing their very real guns at your backs and urging you to keep walking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeah... don't ask me where those pirates came from, but they forced themselves into the story...<br/>I hope you liked this chapter, even if it was a little shorter than they usually are.<br/>I am so excited to see you coming back to the story and am thankful for each and every comment you were willing to share with me!<br/>I love to hear your thoughts and ideas and theories!</p>
<p>I hope to be back soon and would love to hear from you in the meantime! 💕</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are still on Yalara and Leonard, Jim and you just got captured by "old fashioned space pirates".</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone!<br/>It took me a little longer than anticipated to have this next chapter ready. <br/>If you wish to receive additional content warnings please go to the notes at the end of the chapter first!</p>
<p>As always, thank you to my friend <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHTWSPNSH/pseuds/SHTWSPNSH">SHTWSPNSH</a>  for her amazing beta-work.</p>
<p>I hope you'll like how this story keeps unfolding!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were led along a path and found yourself in the woods that were neighboring the village. After a short walk, you found tents standing amidst the trees, barely visible because of their camouflage.</p>
<p>Jim had not tried to engage in any more conversation, so following his lead, Leonard and you had remained silent as you kept walking.</p>
<p>There were other Shura, a lot of them, but none of them were female. They were holding phasers and old-fashioned bows and arrows in their muscular, olive green shimmering arms.<br/>The male Shura of the tribe. The ones this ominous Arman had gathered to overpower his sister.</p>
<p>They turned around as your group entered the small settlement and eyed you hostilely, clearly not happy with your presence.</p>
<p>“Get in there!” Henry and John pushed the three of you into a tent and out of sight.</p>
<p>As far as you could tell in the dim light of the tent, someone that appeared to be human was rummaging through some boxes that were stacked on top of each other in the back of the tent.</p>
<p>“Oi, William! We’re back!”</p>
<p>Without looking up the man began to talk.</p>
<p>“Finally Laurel and Hardy decide to join the party again. Conveniently we just finished loading the shuttle and we…” he turned around and he stared at you in dismay. “What the actual fuck?!”</p>
<p>“We found those three wanderin' around th' village, William. Bet th' Captain will be mighty pleased wit' us,” Henry declared proudly.</p>
<p>“<em>Finding</em> us is not the term I would use, but hey, no harsh feelings…” The hissing his interjection earned him from Leonard made Jim only shrug.</p>
<p>“What? It’s true though.” <br/>Leonard rolled his eyes while William didn’t acknowledge anything Jim had just said.</p>
<p>“Care to explain why the hell you are dragging Starfleet officers in here?”</p>
<p>“Starfleet! Starfleet!” Blacky accentuated.</p>
<p>“And if you don’t get rid of this fucking bird, I swear I will kill it myself!”</p>
<p>“Leave Blacky out o' this!” Henry was quick to shoot back. “'n wha' do ye mean Starfleet?” He looked sincerely confused.</p>
<p>“Thought we could get a pretty good penny fer them on th' market! Th’ woman alone fer sure will make us a lot o' doubloons. The Captain will be thrilled!” the short man explained.</p>
<p>The market? They surely could not be talking about a slavery market. You knew they existed, somewhere out there, but not in your reality.</p>
<p>“Drop this stupid pirate act, John!” William rolled his eyes dramatically. “Come on. Not even you can be that dumb!”</p>
<p>As William scanned the three of you, his eyes suddenly opened wide in utter disbelieve.</p>
<p>“Are those communicators?!” he huffed out. “You left their communication devices on them?” He shook his head. “I stand to be corrected. You both get a solid 12 out of 10 on the numeric dumbness scale.”</p>
<p>“That’s nah even possible!” John complained.</p>
<p>“Yeah, John’s right.  'cause ye cannot get more than 10 outta 10! We be nah that daft aft’ all!”</p>
<p>“For fuck’s sake- just go and strip them of their communicators!”</p>
<p>“Communicators! Communic... arrr! Arr!”</p>
<p>William had reached for a stone on the ground next to his boot and threw it at the parrot, missing both the animal and John’s head by inches.</p>
<p>“Thar was no needs t' throw a stone at 'im, Will. He’s jus’ a wee bird!”</p>
<p>William ignored John and turned to Jim while Henry took your communicators off you, once more not able to keep his hands to himself when he fumbled on your belt to retrieve the device.</p>
<p>Unable to use your own hands to keep him at distance, you reflexively stepped on his feet with the heel of your boot, making him cringe in pain. “Ouch!” he nearly dropped the communicator he had taken from you as he quickly moved away.</p>
<p>Leonard shot you a look of approval, but his eyes were still full of concern.</p>
<p>“You littl’ bitch!” Henry hissed at you while Len, yet again, stepped a little closer to you, now glaring dangerously at Henry.</p>
<p>“Now, now, Henry. This is no way to be talking to a fine young lady,“ William reprimanded while smiling at you and now giving you a once over himself. “Please excuse my ill-mannered friend here.”</p>
<p>You stared at William, your lips pressed tightly together and your heart hammering in your chest. When William didn’t get any reaction out of you, he turned towards Jim with an amused smile.</p>
<p>“So, Starfleet, huh? What brings you to this little planet out in the vast outback of space?”</p>
<p>“My name is James Kirk and I am the Captain of the USS Enterprise,” Jim introduced himself. “I assure you, if you are willing to let us go now, we will be able to find a solution that-”</p>
<p>William shook his head slowly, scratching his chin with his right hand. “I am afraid, things are not going to be that easy, <em>Captain</em> Kirk.”</p>
<p>He stepped closer to Jim and looked him in the eyes. “I know very well who you are. The golden boy of the Federation. The Savior… Oh yes, yes. We have all heard about you. Have to say, I thought you’d be taller in real life.” He chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>“I get that a lot. Thing is, you can’t have looks, brains <em>and </em>height.  I mean, nobody is <em>perfect</em>,” Jim replied, smirking.</p>
<p>“Tell that to your ego,” Len snarked back, earning a playful wink from Jim.</p>
<p>“Too bad your ego won’t be enough to save you and your team, <em>Captain</em>. But even heroes get lost out in space. It is a dangerous place after all.”</p>
<p>He moved to his right and came to a halt in front of you.</p>
<p>“As for you… Dumb and dumber here might just be right about you. You sure will make a pretty penny on the slavery market up on Verex III…”</p>
<p>He reached out his hand to touch your face in an unexpectedly soft caress.</p>
<p>“And we can have a little fun with you on our way there. Can never hurt to assure oneself of the quality of the product.”</p>
<p>When he leaned in and you were able to smell his breath, you felt panic beginning to constrict your chest. You did not want this man to touch you!</p>
<p>“Bite me!” you shot out, surprising yourself with how steady and powerful your voice sounded.</p>
<p>“Oh, I have every intention to!” He laughed darkly, not backing off. “We are going to have a lot of fun together once we are off this goddammed planet.”</p>
<p>He bumped his knee between your legs, crowding in on you and pushing you into the sidewall of the tent, his face mere inches away from yours again.</p>
<p>You could feel your stomach clench when he touched you like this, without consent.</p>
<p>A repetitive pattern in your life.</p>
<p>You felt yourself freeze again as fear crept up your spine, adding to the panic, and it got hard for you to breathe. <br/>This could not be happening. Not again.</p>
<p>
  <em>…You lose control… You never had control… You are losing yourself as he is close, too close, inflicting pain, but you stay… You endure… You don’t make him stop…</em>
</p>
<p>“Let go of her, you son of a bitch!” Len’s voice pulled you out of your stupor.</p>
<p>He had leapt at William in an attempt to push him away from you, but William easily foiled Len’s attack. When he knocked the hilt of his phaser into the Doctor’s stomach, Len fell to his knees, leaning forward and panting heavily.</p>
<p>“Bones!” you heard Jim shout out and you felt a wave of anger wash over you when you saw Leonard on the ground gasping for air.</p>
<p>This anger was what finally brought you into motion. You began to fight back, tried to kick William, but to no avail. He was too close for you to land a proper hit.</p>
<p>“I love a feisty wildcat!” William continued, unimpressed by Leonard’s foray. “Makes things so much more interesting…"</p>
<p>In the corner of your eyes, you saw how Len managed to get back up on his feet, but your relief was short-lived. When you turned your attention back to William, his face was dangerously close to yours again.</p>
<p>You shut your eyes, bracing yourself for what was to come when the entrance of the tent was loudly pulled open and the noise made William spin around.</p>
<p>“Captain Edward!”</p>
<p>A tall man had entered the tent. He was wearing an eyepatch over his right eye and there was a broad scar running across his right cheek, disappearing under the patch. He looked every bit the way you’d expected a pirate Captain to look. Red beard and all.</p>
<p>
  <em>The Red Captain.</em>
</p>
<p>He was accompanied by a man whose skin was of the same olive-green shimmering tone you had seen in the other Shura before. He, too, was tall and held himself pridefully. His bare skin was decorated with all different kinds of bracelets made of leather.</p>
<p>There were two other men with them, both of them holding phasers in their hands and pointing them at you.</p>
<p>“What the hell is going on in here?” The Captain’s voice was low and demanded an immediate answer.</p>
<p>John and Henry stood at attention at once while William finally stepped away from you and turned towards the newcomers.</p>
<p>“We were packing up the last things when those two idiots thought it would be a great idea to bring these Starfleet officers in here…”</p>
<p>“Siti!” the Shura uttered angrily. “She must have reached out to the Federation before we were able to subdue her.”</p>
<p>Edward’s gaze wandered from the still slightly panting Len on your right over to you, then stopped dead on Jim, who was standing to your left.</p>
<p>“Captain, we thought we could turn them into a lot o' money on th' market on Verex, since we are goin’ there anyway. Ye know, a wee additional income has ne'er hurt anyone. Th' woman alone will…”</p>
<p>Edward held up his hand, effectively silencing John while never taking his eyes off Jim.</p>
<p>Both Captains stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Edward finally spoke again.<br/>“JT.”</p>
<p>Nothing more. And yet, this was enough to make Leonard flinch.</p>
<p>“Jim, you know this guy?”</p>
<p>“Oh, we both have known each other for a long time,” Edward answered instead of Jim, who was staring at him with a clenched jaw. “Isn’t that right, JT? Although, it has been a while…”</p>
<p>“Not long enough, Rosso,” Jim found his voice again.</p>
<p>“I see you have not forgotten about me, JT. I am flattered. You’re looking good, all grown up now... And you kept my little souvenir all those years.” Edward stepped closer and traced a barely visible scar on Jim’s neck with his finger.</p>
<p>“I see you kept mine as well,” Jim quipped back, motionless.</p>
<p>“Oh yes, that.”  Edward now touched the scar on his own face. “That had not been a great parting gift, I have to say. And yet - I really did miss you JT, you know?”</p>
<p>“Can’t say the same goes for me.”</p>
<p>“Wanna tell me what’s goin’ on here, Jim?” Leonard demanded.</p>
<p>“Oh, you know…” Jim said nonchalantly, “just catching up with an old friend. But I have to admit, I honestly thought I’d never have to see his ugly face again.”</p>
<p>“Now that is not a very nice thing to say, my boy.” Edward shook his head in disappointment. “I <em>am </em>so glad that our paths should finally cross again. Gives me the chance to repay you <em>richly</em> for what you have done to me!”</p>
<p>“Eddie, is this going to be a problem?” the Shura asked.</p>
<p>Edward shook his head. “No, Arman, this is not a problem at all. This is what I would call fate.”</p>
<p>He emphasized the <em>t</em> and bared his teeth when he started smiling.<br/>“We’ll be leaving as planned and leave you to your newly found reigning duties. We’ll take Siti- without her down here you’ll be fine, Arman. We’ll also be taking our Starfleet friends with us.</p>
<p>“You won’t have to worry about anything, as long as you stick to our deal. Make sure the <em>Aver</em> is ready to be picked up in four weeks and we’ll make sure no one from Starfleet or anyone else is ever going to bother you again. I am a man of my word.” He smiled at Arman before turning his attention back to Jim. “But for now, I am going to have a little fun with our visitors. For old time’s sake.”</p>
<p>Without any warning Edward took a swing at Jim’s head, hitting him hard on the side with his fist, his ring clad fingers leaving a deep cut in his skin.</p>
<p>“What the…” Leonard shouted out at the sight of his dazed friend. “Jim! Leave him alone, you ingrate!”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s new!” Edward looked at Len in surprise. “You care for him, do you?” It was more of a statement than a question. </p>
<p>“Bones…” Jim warned, slightly swaying on his feet. “Stand down. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into here.”</p>
<p>Edward raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t my favorite little toy tell you about our time together?” He looked back at Jim.</p>
<p>“How much fun we had? Back in the days, on Tarsus?”</p>
<p>Tarsus? <em>Oh god</em>… It all fell into place as Edward kept talking.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you tell them how well you did even without food, and how exquisite the red blood looked on your pale skin?” His expression got rather dreamy. “You were ever the fighter back then, always looking out for the others. Bet you also kept to yourself how sweet you cried for me in the dark, all weak and broken, didn’t you?”<br/>“Alright, Edward, enough of this trip down memory lane,” Jim cut in forcefully. <br/>“Oh, I am not done with you just yet. Tell me, do you still dream about me, the way you used to? Dreaming about us and screaming so beautifully at night?”</p>
<p>“You sick bastard…” Leonard yelled. “He was just a kid!”</p>
<p>Jim had been on Tarsus. You closed your eyes for a brief moment. Jim was a survivor of the massacre of Tarsus IV. You swallowed hard.</p>
<p>"Oh, rest assured, <em>friend.</em>.. JT was never 'just' a kid. But look at him now. Look at the man he has become. Thanks to me."</p>
<p>“Just let my crew go,” Jim looked Edward directly in the eyes, his voice strong. “This is between you and me.”</p>
<p>“Just like I remember you- always one to care more for your little friends than you ever did for yourself. How about…” you felt his attention shift towards you and you tried to make yourself invisible under his intense stare. “How about,” he repeated, “we start by talking to her?”</p>
<p>He reached out for you, dug his fingers deep into your hair and pulled you forward. The pain made tears shoot to your eyes, but you didn’t utter a sound. “Ah. I see. A tough one…” Edward laughed silently before he yanked you to the floor with considerable strength.</p>
<p>You flew to the ground, hitting your shoulder hard while you managed to prevent your head from connecting with the solid surface. </p>
<p>“I said leave them alone! She has nothing to do with this!” Jim’s voice sounded muffled as you heard the blood rush in your ears while you tried to get back up on your feet. Not an easy endeavor with your hands still tied together on your back.</p>
<p>Len had turned towards you but with his own hands tied together, he was of no help.</p>
<p>“You ok, sweetheart?” His voice was a small whisper in your ears, and again, you were not able to give him more than a nod. What else could you do?</p>
<p>This was not the place to tell him that the rope left the skin on your wrists burning, that your freshly healed wrist had started throbbing again or that your shoulder hurt like hell and that you were scared to death with your heart beating like crazy in your chest.</p>
<p>“Very well,” Edward turned to William. “You take her. If she has got <em>nothing</em> to do with <em>this</em>, then I have no use for her in here. Just try not to break her – we might <em>actually</em> be able to get a reasonable price for her on the market.”</p>
<p>
  <em>No. No no no… </em>
</p>
<p>Now Edward looked at Arman, who had witnessed the scene in silence. “Or would you like to have the honors?”<br/>Arman shook his head. “I will not get my hands dirty on a human.”</p>
<p>Edward nodded towards William who stepped towards you again. “Very well then. She’s all yours.”</p>
<p>Jim stepped towards Edward. “I said, leave them alone! Or else I...”</p>
<p>“Or else you will- what, JT?” Edward pushed Jim hard in the chest making him stumble backwards and trip over one of the boxes. “Would you just look at yourself,” Eddie laughed out loud at Jim’s ungraceful attempts of getting up. “You are in no position to bargain!”<br/>“Oh I beg to differ, Rosso.” There was silence as Jim paused after he eventually managed to get back on his feet. “I’ll let you get your revenge. And more. I am a Starfleet Captain now. Think about it, there is a lot you can get from me. But it will only happen if you let them go.”</p>
<p>“Jim, no!” Len tried to get to Jim’s side but was rewarded with a punch in the stomach by one of the guards.</p>
<p>“Len!” You shouted out when you saw him fall to the ground as the wind was knocked out of him once more. Your movement made William grab your arm even harder to stop you from dashing over to Len.</p>
<p>“You, JT, will do whatever I want you to do, whenever I want you to do it. And if I say so, my crew can do to yours whatever they want to. Simple as that.”</p>
<p>He pointed his finger at Jim. “You, JT, <em>you</em> are all mine and I don’t need your permission for any of it. And believe me, you will let me in on everything I want to know. As you surely remember, I can be rather persuasive.” He looked over to you and Len. “Your Captain and I, we have some unfinished business to take care of.” </p>
<p>A smile played around his lips as he turned towards Henry and John. “Out of here, now. You two,” he looked at the guards, “see to it that our guests here don’t leave early. I will be right back.”</p>
<p>The two Shura guards approached Jim and Leonard as Edward turned around to leave the tent with Arman after John and Henry and William began to drag you towards the exit.</p>
<p>“Leave me alone! Let go of me…” Your attempts to fight him off were fruitless.</p>
<p>“How come William always gets t' 'ave all th' fun?” you heard Henry complain to Edward outside of the tent.</p>
<p>“Leave her the hell alone, you goddamned asshole!” Len had gathered all his strength and jumped forward, bypassing the guards and throwing himself at William with a force that you had not believed he could hold. But with his hands still tied to his back, it was easy for William to fight Len off. He lost his balance and fell to the ground.</p>
<p>“You think she is yours?” William kept his bruising grip on you when he turned to Leonard on the floor and kicked him hard in the head. “Well… think again!”</p>
<p>Jim was next to Leonard in a heartbeat, trying to shield him from any more of Williams kicks.</p>
<p>“Leonard!” you screamed frantically as you were finally dragged out of the tent, passing more Shura men, ready to position themselves at the entrance of the tent.</p>
<p>The last thing you saw before William pulled you around the next corner was Len, laying on the floor in his blood and Jim kneeling next to him, the Shura guards stepping forward, pointing their phasers at him.</p>
<p>This time, Len didn’t get back up.</p>
<p>You were fighting tooth and nail to get out of William’s tight hold and back to Len when you felt a fist collide with your cheek.</p>
<p>
  <em>…A throbbing pain shot through your face when you hit the doorframe…</em>
</p>
<p>“I said don’t break her William,” you heard Edward’s sharp voice next to you. He reached out and you felt his cold fingers on your chin, digging in your skin and tilting your head sideways so he could examine the damage to your face.</p>
<p>“It’ll heal- just don’t add to those bruises. The girl will make a nice additional income on Verex. Make sure to have her in the shuttle by nightfall. In one piece.”</p>
<p>“Aye, Captain,” William saluted.</p>
<p>Your ears were still ringing from the hit you just had taken and you tried to get your vision to unblur by blinking a few times, trying to shake the memories that had started to whirl in your head and drag you down, only to see Edward turn around and pull the curtain of the entrance to the tent aside.</p>
<p>“Now that that’s settled, I want to spend some quality time with my good old friend in here before we leave.”</p>
<p>And with that, he entered the tent and William dragged you away, towards another tent.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <em>Additional Warnings: </em>
  <br/>
  <em>non-con elements, minor flashbacks of past abuse, nothing too explicit though</em>
</p>
<p>I hope to be able to post the next chapter before the year is over!<br/>I would love to hear your thoughts, theories, wishes, and anything else you are willing to share with me! :)</p>
<p>If you are in need of more Reader x McCoy content (and who isn't? 😉) -&gt; I have been working on a project, together with a couple of great authors here on the Archive, and there is a little surprise coming your way on December 1st. <br/>Either subscribe to me or check out my works in December to make sure you are not going to miss this!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You were captured by pirates on the planet Yalara.<br/>You are dragged out of the tent and away from Jim and Leonard.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It took me a while to get this next chapter done.<br/>Life has been rather crazy over here and there was not much time to write.<br/>I hope you enjoyed reading the McCoyxDecember series while waiting for this update. </p><p>This time I have to thank my partner in crime SHTWSNPSH not only for her beta work but also for co-writing parts of this chapter, and I am very thankful for her help and assistance!</p><p>This chapter ended up being very graphic and dark. If you wish to receive additional warnings please go to the notes at the end of this chapter before reading it!</p><p>I hope you enjoy this next part of the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward smiled sadistically as he walked towards Jim, sending a shiver up the younger man’s spine as he stayed frozen, kneeling next to the still unconscious Bones on the floor.</p><p>“Look how far you’ve come, my boy!” Edward beamed. “When we first met, you were nothing more than a snot-nosed little brat. And now you are the poster boy for Star Fleet, in command of their flag ship.”</p><p>He flicked the insignia on Jim’s shirt.</p><p>“You’ve become quite the man, thanks to me.”</p><p>“Uh, I think you mean in <em>spite </em>of you,” Jim corrected, his eyes darkening as he stared unflinchingly back at Edward.</p><p>“Nonsense. Had it not been for our lovely sessions together, you would have been dead in a ditch decades ago. I beat the fear out of you and created the man you are today, one broken bone at a time. I taught you how to survive.”</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself. The only thing you taught me was how sadistic human beings could be. Well, that and how to fight dirty.”</p><p>Edward smirked, his one remaining eye glittering with malice.</p><p>“Like I said, I taught you how to survive.”</p><p>Before Jim could reply, Leonard let out a pained groan as he started coming back around. The captain’s attention was immediately redirected towards his friend.</p><p>“Bones?” Jim asked quietly, a hundred unspoken questions in that one word.</p><p>“I’ll live,” Leonard mumbled, spitting a gob of blood onto the ground. Then he lifted his head to squint blearily around the room. “Where’s Y/N? Where did they take her?”</p><p>“We’ll get her back,” Jim vowed sincerely. “I give you my word.”</p><p>“How chivalrous of you, kiddo,” Edward cut in and smiled at Jim. “But you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep. Think you’d have learned that by now, after what happened to poor little-”</p><p>“Don’t you dare say his name, you sonofabitch,” Jim growled furiously, his normally ice blue eyes blazing with fiery hatred.</p><p>Only one thing could ever get that kind of reaction out of the Captain, and that was discussing the kids he had tried to care for back on Tarsus. </p><p>He had done the best he could back then, considering he was a mere child himself at the time, but not all of them had survived the harsh conditions.</p><p>And over a bottle of Saurian brandy a few years ago, on the anniversary of the Tarsus Rescue, he had let slip to Leonard how much guilt he still carried around for those who were lost under his watch. It was a very sensitive subject, to say the least.</p><p>As far as Leonard could tell, Jim had dedicated the rest of his life to protecting everyone he took under his wing, including his entire Enterprise crew.</p><p>The kid didn’t believe in no-win scenarios, and losing anyone else under his command would take a devastating toll on him.</p><p>Leonard had no doubt in his mind that if anything happened to you, Jim would kill every last one of these pirates with his own bare hands, starting with Edward and William.</p><p>As a doctor, killing went against Len’s personal code, but for these assholes, he was willing to make an exception.</p><p>Edward walked over to Jim and leered hungrily down at him. </p><p>“Sensitive subject, I see. Such a pity you couldn’t save that poor boy. He died screaming your name, you know. But I might just have that pretty officer of yours screaming mine after the boys have finished with her.”</p><p>Jim tensed as he glared resolutely up at the man, then steadily rose to his feet, refusing to be looked down on as if he were still just a child.</p><p>“You’re nothing more than a coward, Rosso,” he stated confidently. “What kind of man establishes his dominance by hurting women and children? You’re pathetic.”</p><p>It was clear that he was trying to bait Edward, and Leonard did not like where this was going.</p><p>“Jim...” he warned beneath his breath.</p><p>“Stay out of this, Bones,” Jim commanded, his eyes never leaving Edward’s, waiting for the guy to make the first move.</p><p>Jim was one hell of a fighter, but even <em>he </em>couldn’t do much with his hands tied behind his back. Leonard was terrified he was trying to start a fight he knew he couldn’t win.</p><p>Edward bristled at Jim’s challenge. “Get back on your knees, boy, before I decide to remove them with a blunt knife.”</p><p>“What’s the matter, Eddie? Too afraid to face me fairly now that I’m not a half-starved kid anymore? Why don’t you untie me and we’ll settle this the old-fashioned way?”</p><p>Leonard guessed that even <em>this </em>guy wasn’t stupid enough to fall for that ploy, but he had to at least give his friend credit for trying.</p><p>He curled his hands into fists behind his own back when Edward reached out and stroked Jim’s cheek in an almost loving manner.</p><p>“But my dear boy, what would be the fun in that? I much prefer seeing you restrained, watching you struggle to break free like a helpless little bunny caught in a trap. It reminds me of the good ol’ days. You do remember my favorite room of toys, do you not?”</p><p>Jim swallowed hard at the visual, then jerked his head away as Edward's thumb glided possessively across his lips.</p><p>“You and I both know what you really want here, Rosso, so let’s quit with the theatrics and get to the endgame, shall we?”</p><p>Much to Leonard’s surprise, Edward started laughing haughtily.</p><p>“All these years, JT... And somehow you’re still under the impression that you’re in control.”</p><p>Jim snorted derisively. “Funny, I was just about to say the same thing to you.”</p><p>Edward placed his hands on Jim’s shoulders and leaned in to whisper in his ear.  “I’m going to enjoy taking you apart, boy. Piece. By. Piece.”</p><p>Then he brought his knee up into Jim’s stomach, dropping him back to the ground with a pained grunt.</p><p>“Oh, how I’ve missed those sounds...” Edward lamented as he drifted off towards a table, almost hidden in the dim light of the tent. It was lined with old-fashioned torture devices and medical equipment that appeared to be from the twentieth century.</p><p>Len felt his heart skip a beat when the man started picking up a few to examine his choices. “Please tell me you’ve got a plan here, kid,” he mumbled under his breath to Jim while keeping a close eye on the Pirate Captain.</p><p>Jim coughed a few more times before rasping, “I’m working on it.”</p><p>“Well work faster. I’ve got a feelin’ things are about to go from bad to worse.”</p><p>“Gee, ya think? Just stay quiet, Bones, and don’t draw any attention to yourself, alright? Let me handle the rest.”</p><p>“What are you gonna do?”</p><p>Leonard spared a glance towards his friend just in time to see him flinch at the question, and he knew instantly that he wasn’t going to like said plan.</p><p>“Don’t do anything stupid, Jim,” he warned. But as always, his friend ignored him.</p><p>“Is that the best you’ve got, Rosso? I’m honestly disappointed. I’ve dated girls who hit harder than you.”</p><p>“Damnit, Jim! What the hell happened to keepin’ quiet?!” McCoy hissed at him, his eyes widening in horror at the younger man’s continued antics.</p><p>“Shut up, Bones. That’s an order.”</p><p>Leonard glared at him for a moment, then looked back up as Edward returned, a small, sharp blade in his hand.</p><p>“Oh, I’m just getting started, my boy. I think you’ll be impressed by how many new techniques I’ve learned since we last met.”</p><p>“From what I’ve seen so far, you’re nothing more than empty talk. If memory serves, you used to be one of the most fearsome people in the galaxy, working as an interrogator for Kodos.</p><p>“Now you’re nothing more than a drug lord and human trafficker with a bunch of idiots working under you. I’m actually embarrassed for you. The mighty have sure fallen.”</p><p>“A man has to make a living. But rest assured, I have only added to my repertoire over the years.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah... I’m sure Aver fetches a pretty penny on the open market. But you can’t seriously think you’ll get away with selling Star Fleet officers to the highest bidder, do you? </p><p>“By now, my bridge crew will have realized that we missed our first check-in and they’ll be preparing to send down security teams any minute, if they haven’t done so already. Your best chance for survival is to surrender now and come quietly.”</p><p>“Is that so? Well, here’s my counteroffer...”</p><p>He thrust the small blade between Jim’s left collarbone and upper ribcage, slicing through the skin and shoulder muscles till the tip was brought to an abrupt halt by the bone of his shoulder blade.</p><p>Jim did his best to stifle his scream, refusing to give Edward the satisfaction.</p><p>“Jim!” Leonard shouted, working his wrists furiously behind his back to try and break free of his restraints. He wouldn’t be surprised if the man had just severed his friend’s rotator cuff, rendering the limb utterly useless until the muscles could be repaired.</p><p>The Captain curled in on himself as he struggled to get his breathing and the pain back under control.</p><p>He couldn’t risk passing out because if he did, Edward would no doubt turn his attentions towards Leonard while his favorite toy was out of commission.</p><p>No sooner had he forced himself to sit back up on his knees did Rosso grip the hilt and rip the knife haphazardly back out of his arm, doing twice the amount of damage on the exit than the entrance.</p><p>Jim swore loudly and swallowed repeatedly against the bile rising up the back of his throat as his shoulder seared with agony. It wasn’t long before the left side of his shirt was painted crimson.</p><p>He swayed heavily on his knees and Leonard slid in quickly behind him to help stabilize Jim.</p><p>“Damnit... Hey! He’s losing too much blood! You have to let me help him! Please!”</p><p>“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. From what I hear, the Shura head women are very talented healers. I happen to have one at my beck and call, should I require her skills. </p><p>“In fact, with her assistance, I could carve him up over and over again till I get bored or he finally breaks. Whichever comes first.”  He lifted Jim’s head by his chin. “But before I really get started, I’d like to reintroduce you to an old friend of yours.”</p><p>He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe filled with a blue liquid. Leonard felt Jim stop breathing against him and knew it had to be bad, whatever the hell it was.</p><p>He tried to curl around him protectively, but the attempt was frustratingly futile.</p><p>“You remember my little concoction, don’t you? I’ve made a few modifications since the last time you had a dose. </p><p>“I was just about to go test it out on Siti to see if it had the same effects on the Shura as it does on humans, but I’m feeling rather nostalgic now... What do you say we try and beat your old record by taking a little trip down memory lane?”</p><p>Jim shook his head weakly against Leonard’s chest, the only outward sign that he was beginning to panic. </p><p>Ignoring his silent protests, Edward looked up at his two remaining guards.</p><p>“Get him up, and hold him steady.”</p><p>“Jim, talk to me... What is that stuff? What’s it gonna- Jim... Jim!” Len shouted as his friend was unceremoniously yanked away from him by the two Shura and forced onto his unsteady feet.</p><p>Without the use of his hands, there was nothing Len could do but snarl empty threats at the men as he continued to struggle against his binds.</p><p>The rope was definitely getting looser, helped along by the blood on his chaffed wrists. He was so close to breaking free, but he knew it wouldn’t be in time.</p><p>“Just tell him whatever he wants to hear!” he begged, knowing he was asking Jim to go against his instincts and all of his training, but he was getting desperate.</p><p>Access codes, Star Fleet secrets... He didn’t care. He’d give it all up in a heartbeat if it kept Jim from being tortured. But he had no idea what the psychopath hoped to learn from his friend. If he had, he would’ve spilled it by now to spare Jim further torment.</p><p>The blond’s eyes darted over to him and gave him a sad, pained smile as if he knew exactly what Len was thinking.</p><p>“Wouldn’t do any good, Bones. All he wants is to hear me scream.”</p><p>“And scream you shall, JT. It’s only a matter of when.”</p><p>“Screw you,” Jim bit out angrily, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face, knowing what was coming next.</p><p>Len watched in horror as one of the guards yanked Jim’s head back by his golden hair, exposing his throat to Edward who lifted the syringe and plunged it into the side of Jim’s neck.</p><p>Jim hissed in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as the fluid was injected into his system.</p><p>With one last jerk of his elbow, Leonard managed to get his arms free and he lunged towards Edward, tackling him to the ground and away from Jim.</p><p>They landed hard, grappling and throwing punches for a few seconds before one of the guards left Jim and came over to help his boss.</p><p>The big man punched Len in the kidney, then hauled him off of Edward who pushed himself into a sitting position and furiously wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“You’re going to pay for that,” he growled. “Take him out back and kill him. Slowly.”</p><p>“No!” Jim shouted, trying to escape the clutches of the other guard. “Please, Eddie!  I’m begging you. Just leave him alone, and I’ll do whatever you want. I swear.”</p><p>Edward raised an eyebrow at Jim and held up a hand, halting the guard’s progress towards the exit.</p><p>“You truly care for this man?” he asked in awe.</p><p>Jim hesitated, then gave him a brief nod.</p><p>The man laughed in disbelief. “You never learn, do you, boy?  It was your love for those kids that broke you last time, and it’ll be your love for your crewman that destroys you this time too. Love is weakness, JT. But pain? Pain builds strength.”</p><p>“Whatever you say, Rosso,” Jim muttered dryly.</p><p>Edward considered his options for a moment, then came to a decision.</p><p>“Very well then. Your friend stays, for now. It seems he may prove quite useful after all.”</p><p>With that, he retrieved the knife he had used on Jim earlier and stabbed it into Len’s thigh, all the way to the hilt. Not having Jim’s high level of pain tolerance, Leonard cried out as fire coursed up and down his leg before collapsing to the ground.</p><p>“That’s more like it. He sings rather beautifully, don’t you think, JT?”</p><p>When the blood pounding in his ears eventually died down, Len was surprised to find he wasn’t the only one who had been screaming.</p><p>Jim was screaming on his behalf, all semblance of stoicism gone as he pleaded for Rosso to have mercy.</p><p>The man smiled predatorily as he strode cockily back over to Jim and patted him condescendingly on the cheek.</p><p>“See? I knew you’d cooperate eventually. You always do.”</p><p><br/>
***</p><p> </p><p>You were dragged into a smaller tent in which a few narrow field beds were lined up.</p><p>“Home, sweet home.” William’s voice was dark and heavy. He had never let go of your arm and after he shut the entrance to the tent firmly, he turned around and gave you his full attention. His eyes wandered over your body hungrily.</p><p>The moment he had turned fully towards you his hands landed on your hips and he forced you backward until you were pressed against the surprisingly solid wall of the tent and the rope around your wrists was cutting painfully into your flesh.</p><p>But you knew you had to get your wrists free if you wanted to have any chance of fighting back and getting out of here, so despite the pain, you began to start wriggling your hands against each other while you did your best to ignore William’s hands that had started moving along the contours of your body.</p><p>Letting more unwanted memories wash over you and falling into a catatonic state, too scared to move, was not an option. Not again. Not this time.</p><p>You had to get out of here, you had to go and find Len. William had kicked him in the head and you had no idea how much damage that had caused.</p><p>You were pulled out of your thoughts when you felt William’s hand caressing your left cheek.</p><p>For a brief moment, you looked at him in surprise before trying to move away from his touch. But when you moved your head, he quickly took hold of your hair and held you in place before coming closer and kissing you roughly. You stopped moving your wrists when all you could focus on was his stubble, abrasive on your sensitive skin.</p><p>Reflexively you tried to keep your mouth firmly shut, but his tongue forced its way in, roaming, suffocating. Your stomach clenched as nausea began to rise within you as all your other senses started to pick up what was happening to you.</p><p>You had to get out of this embrace, but the more you moved, the tighter William’s hold on you got, and the more forceful and demanding his kiss became.</p><p>You closed your eyes firmly, trying to let your mind flee from this situation, but once you managed to tune William out, pictures of Andrew found their way into your consciousness.</p><p>
  <em>A drunken Andrew, forcing you down on your knees, forcing himself inside your mouth, making it hard to breathe, impossible to breathe. In and out, in and out, making you choke, pulling at your hair, guiding you against your will.</em>
</p><p>Abruptly you opened your eyes again to your current reality. You had to leave!</p><p>Frantically you continued working on getting your hands free, as William pressed into you and you felt his arousal through his pants, hard against your thigh.</p><p>When he finally leaned back a little you took in a deep, much-needed breath. He licked his lips and his eyes were dark with fragrant lust.</p><p>Before you knew what he was doing, he had already pushed you away from him and onto one of the narrow beds.</p><p>When you landed on your back, something cracked in your right wrist and made you scream out in pain and tears shot into your eyes.</p><p>William chose to ignore your distress and quickly stepped forward, kneeling down in front of the bed. His hands pushed up the shirt of your uniform and crawled underneath it, traveling along your bare skin and reaching for your breasts, cupping them with a strong and painful grip.</p><p>Next, he let go and tried to get your shirt completely off you, but with your hands still tied to your back, he was not able to simply pull it over your head.</p><p>With a frustrated huff, he reached for the hem of your shirt and ripped it apart, until only your bra was covering you.</p><p>His gaze was still hungry as he eyed you up and down again, predatorily, before attacking your breast with his mouth, biting roughly into your nipple through the thin fabric of your bra and making you squeal in pain once more.</p><p>“You like that, don’t you?”</p><p>“The fuck I do!”</p><p>He laughed at your response, seemingly content with your disapproval. Then he leaned in closer, stuck out his tongue, and licked across your cheek before staring right back into your eyes, smiling dangerously.</p><p>You stared back at him for a split second, then, for lack of other options, you spat in his face. </p><p>He chuckled darkly as he wiped the spit away with his sleeve, seemingly turned on by your resistance.</p><p>“You really are a feisty wildcat, aren’t you?” He got off you and started to undo his pants. “Time to tame you.”</p><p>You tried to block out what was happening in front of you and frantically kept your wrists moving when suddenly you felt them getting more leverage, more room to move.</p><p>“Earlier you wanted me to bite you. I’m just making all your wishes come true, babe.”</p><p>
  <em>Babe… I need you. And then he fucks you. Painfully. Again and again and doesn’t stop until he is finished. He doesn’t care about you. Doesn’t take care of you. Doesn’t look back...</em>
</p><p>The fog of memories that came crashing over you was accompanied by adrenalin rushing through your body. With a jolt, you managed to get your hands free the moment William managed to get the belt of his pants loose.</p><p>He licked his lips as he eyed you up and down once more, like a prize he was going to claim, one hand stroking his already hard member.</p><p>At this sight, a very basal survival instinct finally kicked in, and you stopped thinking altogether.</p><p>No more thoughts of getting out, of finding Len. No more thoughts of how you felt or what you wanted. Your brain had stopped processing anything that was happening. Instead, your body simply reacted.</p><p>Just like during the sparring session, you felt the world around you blurring into white noise as your body put its new skills to use.</p><p>With all your power, you began to kick and hit William, your attack taking him completely by surprise. He still stood in front of you, his pants pooled around his ankles, exposed, too perplexed to react.</p><p>All the fury in you found its way into your next swing and you hit him hard in the face, making him sway on his feet in shock.</p><p>There was no time for him to collect himself before you threw the next punch. And the next. And the next, not noticing the hot pain shooting through your recently broken wrist.</p><p>Pictures of Andrew bending over you, touching you when you didn’t want him to, were mixed with the reality of William underneath your fists, of you sitting on his chest, and letting your fists rain down on him.</p><p>This was your fight for survival, and you were not going to let this man win.</p><p>Not again.</p><p>Eventually, William managed to reach out and grab your hands. He yanked them to the side and got back up by shoving you off him, sending you flying across the room. You hit the trunk at the end of one of the beds hard with your back.</p><p>“Now…” William rubbed his bleeding and swollen cheek as he pulled his pants back up. “You sure are a naughty little girl. But I have had enough. Playtime is over, babe.”</p><p>
  <em>…I love you, babe…</em>
</p><p>You got back up on your feet too, approached him much faster than he anticipated, rocking your knee up between his legs and sending him to the floor once more, this time with his face showing pure agony.</p><p>“Don’t call me <em>babe</em>, asshole!”</p><p>You spun around and kicked him in his chest, making him keel over backward. His head connected with the edge of one of the other boxes in the tent with a loud cracking sound and blood began to drip to the floor next to him.</p><p>His eyes were shut, and he didn’t move but you didn’t linger to see if he was going to get up again or not. Instead, you spun around and bolted out of the exit of the tent, not looking back.</p><p>You stormed out of and made a run for the woods where you crouched down behind a tree. Your thoughts were racing again and there was still white noise inside your head. You tried to shut it out, but you were not able to. The nausea finally became overwhelming and you doubled-over to throw up heavily.</p><p>When the clenching of your stomach subsided, you wiped your mouth clean with the sleeve of your torn uniform while absentmindedly looking around but not taking in anything around you while you were trying to catch your breath. You had to get your thoughts to slow down and make a plan about how to proceed.</p><p>You needed to push your memories of Andrew and the images of William leaning over you, touching you, forcing himself onto you away.</p><p>This was not the place for them. You had to focus. You had to find Len. And Jim. </p><p>The thought of Len, laying on the floor not moving was what finally brought you back to the here and now. You took a deep breath and tried to reorientate yourself and remember which tent you had been brought in first when all of a sudden you heard the soft notes of the music again. The music you had heard when you first set foot on Yalara.</p><p>This time it was not as loud. It was more like a whisper, calling you, guiding you. You were drawn to it, and even though you did not want to follow it you felt your feet move without having made any conscious decision to do so. You were guided through the woods as if your feet knew a path your eyes didn’t see.</p><p>The music and the whispers got louder, but you could not understand them.<br/>
After a little while, you found yourself next to a large tent, much larger than the ones you had seen in the clearing, and you felt the urge to enter.</p><p>The entrance was heavily guarded, but the whispers in your head forced you to get in there, so you hurried to the backside of the tent and managed to squeeze yourself through the gap between the ground and the backside of the tent.<br/>
When you entered your eyes needed another moment to get used to the dim light. There was a chair, no, a throne, next to a fireplace, and on the opposite wall there was a woman with olive shimmering skin, and dark eyes, looking right at you.</p><p>The instant her eyes caught yours, the whispers and the singing in your ears vanished.</p><p>You could feel the intangible connection between you, and when she smiled at you, your mind was cleared like a cloudy sky can be cleared by a fresh breeze.</p><p>The fog and the noise in your head vanished and you were able to see clearly and think straight for the first time since you had run into the pirates.</p><p>You knew exactly what you had to do next. Slowly, you moved towards her and when you saw the old fashioned, giant lock that held together the chains that were wrapped around the woman, you thanked the heavens for your younger self’s interest in the ancient Houdini Magic Kit that your grandfather had given to you when you were a child.</p><p>Picking locks was something you knew to do blindfolded. A bobby pin out of your hair was pretty much all you needed. As you set to work you took a first proper look at your hands. Your knuckles were bloody and your right wrist was slightly swollen, but the pain was bearable as you worked away.</p><p>The moment the lock opened and fell to the ground, the entrance to the tent was pushed to the side and two Shura guards entered.</p><p>You spun around and witnessed how the woman you had just freed single-handedly knocked the two men out with a few smooth movements of her bare hands.</p><p>She reached for your left hand and pulled you with her, out of the tent and into the woods where you ducked down behind a large tree.</p><p>“Thank you, Y/N.”</p><p>You looked at her, startled. “How do you know my name?”</p><p>“The ancestors told me.”</p><p>You looked at her in confusion. “The ancestors?”</p><p>She nodded at you smiling but didn’t explain more. Instead, she placed her hand on her chest. “I am Siti.” Then she took off the beige linen shirt she wore over her leather corsage and handed it to you.</p><p>“Here. Put this on.”</p><p>You had not yet paused to take stock of your appearance. It was only now when you looked down at yourself that you noticed that your uniform was ripped open and had left your skin exposed.</p><p>Thankful, you took off the remains of your uniform and put the linen shirt on. The fabric was soft on your skin and it was a bit tight, but it covered all the necessary parts of your body.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“We have to be quick now. If they notice I am gone, we will lose our advantage. We need to free my warriors.”</p><p>“I have to find my crew,” you objected.</p><p>She placed a hand on your shoulder and instantly there was a warmth that ran through you, calming you down and helping you to center yourself. “The pirates are keeping them captive,” you mumbled.</p><p>“I understand. But if the men find us, we will not be able to fight all of them. I can only do so much on my own. We need to free my warriors first, then we’ll go and free your crew. I promise.”</p><p>You looked into her eyes and you believed her. She was going to help you find Leonard.</p><p>“We need to head to the men’s caves. The Red Captain sealed the entrance so no one can get in or out. You have to turn it off and set my women free.”</p><p>“How am I supposed to do that?”<br/>
“He used your technology. Human technology. You are human.”</p><p>While you were thinking about this logic, you heard a scream echoing through the woods and you recognized the voice instantly.</p><p>“Leonard!”</p><p>“Shhh!” Siti placed a hand over your mouth. “We need to go now. Together we will be able to take down Arman and the Red Captain. And then we’ll free your men.”</p><p>You knew that if you went after them alone, you would not stand a chance. You had been lucky to have escaped William. Your best option was to recruit the help of Siti, along with her warriors.</p><p>“Okay,” you nodded slowly. “Let's do this.”</p><p>You just hoped you’d be able to disable the sealing device she was talking about.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <b>Additional warnings: </b>
  <br/>
  <em>graphic description of violence, torture, non-consensual sexual actions, (almost) rape </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <br/>Thanks to some health issues I have more time on my hands than I had anticipated, so I might be back with the next chapter sooner rather than later.<br/>In the meantime: I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. </p><p>It is always a great reward for writing to hear from you and it keeps the motivation to continue with this story up! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After having escaped William you follow Siti to help her free her warriors</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Life has kept me busy and things have piled up on my plate... which is why this update is coming your way so late!</p><p>As always: I have to thank my friend and partner in crime <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHTWSPNSH/pseuds/SHTWSPNSH">SHTWSPNSH</a>  for her amazing beta work on this series!<br/>(Should you be interested in reading some McCoyXReader smut.... you should totally check out her StarTrek <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28222434">one-shot</a>)</p><p>I hope life is treating you well and you’re all healthy and happy and will enjoy reading this next chapter of the series.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>It seemed effortless how </span><span>Siti</span><span> placed one foot in front of </span><span>the</span><span> other, navigating through the dense woods with such ease, it almost felt as if she was part of the nature surrounding you. You had given up trying to figure out where you were or in which direction you were going. You had trouble finding your way around the Enterprise – your sense of direction was completely gone in these woods. All you did was concentrate on not tripping over the roots and plants in your way while doing your best to keep up with </span><span>Siti</span><span> and trying not to think about Len. </span> <br/>
<span>The scream you had heard still rung in your ears and you could not stop your mind from painting Leonard’s situation in the darkest colors.</span></p><p>
  <span>When </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> suddenly stopped</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> you almost ran into her. </span>
  <span>She placed the finger of her right hand over her lips while pointing with her other hand straight ahead</span>
  <span> towards a large cave. </span>
  
</p><p><span>There were two male Shura with spears in their hands standing on each side of the entrance, staring into the woods with grim faces. </span> <br/>
<span>Little white lights were flashing in the air right in front of the cave’s entrance. </span><span>You frowned and squinted</span><span> to get a better visual of the phenomenon. It took you a moment to see the fine lines of an ion-generated net that was blocking the entrance, not allowing anyone to enter or exit the cave. </span></p><p>
  <span>The human technology </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> had talked about. </span>
  
</p><p><span>The technology she clearly thought you’d be able to disarm</span> <span>– just because you were human.</span></p><p><span>Thankfully, you</span> <span>had attended a few lectures about ion-generated nets in your second year at the Academy. They were more of a relic from former times and hardly ever used in modern warfare, but Professor Wilson had a personal interest in old-fashioned weaponry and included a few of those old-school pieces of </span><em><span>art</span></em><span> in his lectures. </span></p><p>
  <span>Your eyes scanned the ground close to the entrance for the device that generated the net. As far as you could tell by the size of the box you found sitting in the sand on the left side amongst the rocks, this seemed to be a very basic version of what you had learned about. The mechanism behind those nets was very simple, and yet they were very effective and would fry anyone who tried to pass through the barrier they created.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>All you had to do was disable the ion field, and since you didn’t have the access code, short-circuiting the device would be your only option. But to do that, you had to get closer to the small metal box you had just located. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take care of the men. You go and free the women.” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> didn’t give you any time to object. She turned around and approached the guards. When they saw her, they froze for a moment, gaping. Finally, they started attacking her with their spears. Gracefully, </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> fought them off, and even though you had been staring at her the whole time in awe, you were not able to tell how she had done it. Both men were weaponless within seconds, but they continued attacking </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Inside the cave, Shura </span>
  <span>women</span>
  <span> had gathered at the entrance in absolute silence, careful not to touch the net as they watched </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> fight the two men. They all wore the same leather corsages you had seen on </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You looked back at the </span>
  <span>fierce</span>
  <span> warrior leader when it finally hit you</span>
  <span>;</span>
  <span> this was your only chance of turning off the net unnoticed. There was no time to waste.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You ran out of the woods and towards the device. You knelt down in front of it and looked at the small box while biting your bottom lip and promising yourself that you were going to pay more attention during Engineering lectures if you somehow managed to make it out of here alive.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With slightly shaking hands, you opened the box, carefully removed the keypad, and stared at the wires, clueless about how to proceed. In the corner of your eye, you saw </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> flying through the air and hitting the ground hard. She got up right away and continued keeping her opponents in check. To your surprise, there were now four men attacking her. Luckily, they had not spotted you. Yet. </span>
  
</p><p><span>You closed your eyes and tried to calm down. </span><em><span>Y</span></em><em><span>ou could do this. Y</span></em><em><span>ou had to do this.</span></em><span> You took the box into your hands</span><span> to have a closer look at the chaos of wires</span><span> and </span><span>almost dropped it as pain shot through your swollen wrist at the weight. </span><span>You should have worn the brace, just as Len had ordered you to. </span> <br/>
<span>You took a deep breath.</span> <br/>
<span>If you were able to perform surgical procedures you had only read about, you’d be able to tackle a little ancient technical device. </span></p><p>
  <span>Without giving it any more thought, you reached inside the tangle of wires and pulled a few out, hoping that this would turn the net off.  When you had loosened one of the yellow lines a bolt of energy ran through your body and forced you to drop the device. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
  
  
</p><p>
  <span>Panting you</span>
  <span> glanced</span>
  <span> up at the cave, only to see that the ion net was still in place. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Electricity will always take the way of least resistance… </span>
  <span>Instead</span>
  <span> of blindly pulling out wires all you had to do was to create a path of low impedance between the two poles inside the device. </span>
  
</p><p><span>You pulled out the remaining bobby pin in your hair and could not believe that this should be the one thing saving you for a second time this day.</span> <br/>
<span>You straightened the small metal piece, placed it at one of the poles, and hoped that it would conduct the electrical current. You braced yourself, anticipating getting electrocuted one more time when you lowered the pin and connected both poles.</span></p><p>
  <span>The bolt of electricity that ran through you this time was not as bad as you had </span>
  <span>thought</span>
  <span>, but the pin between your fingers instantly got so hot that you had to let go of it. The little metal box had caught fire</span>
  <span> as it fell to the ground once more</span>
  <span> – </span>
  <span>but this time </span>
  <span>the ion</span>
  <span>-</span>
  <span>generated net was gone. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You exhaled in relief as the women were silently leaving the cave, positioning themselves next to their leader, and fought the men with her. The women worked together like a well-oiled machine, </span>
  <span>forming</span>
  <span> one unit.  The men stood absolutely no chance. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They were forced to their knees within seconds, stripped of their remaining weapons, and without much ado, they were quickly and silently beheaded. You gasped and your eyes widened in shock as you saw the four heads rolling on the ground in the dirt. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You took a shaky breath, then got up and walked towards </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> and her warriors. You had reached a point where your mind forced you to shut down and would not let anything that happened around you get too close anymore. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You felt as if you were standing next to yourself, outside of your body, and </span>
  <span>watchin</span>
  <span> yourself being ushered away by the Shura warriors. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Silent, </span>
  <span>deadly</span>
  <span> warriors, with rage burning in their eyes.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You had no doubt whatsoever that with the element of surprise on their side, those women would be able to take down anyone</span>
  <span> standing </span>
  <span>in</span>
  <span> their </span>
  <span>way</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> spoke to them in a language you didn’t understand, then she turned to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, </span>
  <span>you did well. </span>
  <span>Now we are going to free your men and </span>
  <span>get back what is rightfully ours.</span>
  <span> Come with us.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p><p><span>You moved through the woods in a trance-like state, following the silently moving warriors and their leader. Your throbbing wrist, your slightly async heartbeat, the images of hands on your body that tried to take what was not theirs to take</span><span>...</span> <span>None of it </span><span>mattered</span><span> right now. </span></p><p>
  <span>You had to find Leonard. Everything else was secondary.</span>
  
  
</p><p>
  <span>You were not able to tell how much time had passed when you finally reached the borders of the woods and the familiar tents came into view. The light of day was already fading and you had to squint your eyes to make out the tent in which you had been held captive with Len and Jim, before William had dragged you away.</span>
  
</p><p><span>W</span><span>hen you heard a muffled scream coming out of it you reflexively </span><span>stepped forward</span><span> but </span><span>Siti</span><span> held you back</span><span> and </span><span>motioned you to </span><span>stand </span><span>down and wait.</span> <span>The way she </span><span>looked at you didn’t allow anything else but to obey her. </span><span>She</span> <span>made a few gestures </span><span>towards </span><span>her </span><span>women</span><span> and</span><span> they</span><span> started to infiltrate the camp. </span></p><p>
  <span>From where you sat crouched behind a tree, you witnessed how fast and efficient they worked. The Shura men didn’t see them coming out of the darkness of the woods and were easy prey for the warriors. One by one, you saw them go down. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The women were not </span>
  <span>taking</span>
  <span> any captives. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You held your breath when you saw the warriors enter the tent in which you hoped Len and Jim were still. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When there were more muffled cries coming, you jumped to your feet again. The moment one of the women dragged Edward out and threw him onto his knees in the clearing, you bolted out of your hiding spot and made your way into the tent. </span>
  
</p><p><span>The light was very dim,</span><span> but when your eyes finally adjusted, you found yourself in the middle of Shura women fighting the guards who had accompanied Edward – and amidst the chaos of the fight, you saw Leonard, heavily limping towards the other side of the tent. </span> <br/>
<span>You felt a wave of relief rush over you to see him up on both of his feet. Whatever made him limp could not be that bad if he was still able to stand and move. </span></p><p><span>You ran towards </span><span>him</span><span>. When you got closer you could see that it was Jim</span> <span>Leonard</span><span> was trying to reach</span><span>,</span><span> laying on the floor</span> <span>writhing in pain</span><span>, his golden shirt stained with blood</span><span>.</span></p><p>
  <span>When </span>
  <span>you shouted out</span>
  <span> his name</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> Len</span>
  <span> spun around and stared at you in disbelief</span>
  <span>. “Y/N</span>
  <span>?</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
  
</p><p>
  <span>You gave him a brief smile as you wrapped his arm around your shoulder to steady him. He looked at you, his eyes wide in surprise, searching your face, scanning your body. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When he realized that you were not wearing your uniform anymore and he saw your bruised cheek, his expression darkened. “That </span>
  <span>sonofabitch</span>
  <span>…”</span>
  <span> he hissed out through gritted teeth. “What did he do to you?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, Len. I’m fine.” Avoiding his gaze, you glanced over at Jim who was laying curled into himself on the ground. “Let’s talk later. We need to take care of Jim first.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Len was about to say something more when Jim let out a particularly loud groan that made both of you shift your attention to him and you started to walk Len closer towards the Captain.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to him?” you inquired as you closed the distance between you.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“These assholes stabbed him in the shoulder, then dosed him with </span>
  <span>somethin</span>
  <span>’. He’s been </span>
  <span>screamin</span>
  <span>’ ever since.”</span>
  
</p><p><span>The moment you had reached Jim and helped Leonard settle down on the ground next to him, his hands reached for the younger man’s sweaty face. “Hey kid,”</span> <span>Leonard’s voice was full of worry. “Look at me.”</span></p><p>
  <span>He carefully pried Jim’s clenched eyelids open when the Captain failed to execute the order.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it. His pupils are blown. He’s high as a kite right now.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jim jerked his head away with a whimper, slamming his eyes shut again.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“Easy, easy... It’s gonna be alright. </span><span>I’ve</span><span> gotcha.” </span> <br/>
<span>At the sound of Len’s voice, Jim visibly calmed down. There was a connection between the two men, something you had witnessed before- the night Len had taken care of Jim in his apartment, back in San Francisco. </span></p><p>
  <span>T</span>
  <span>he night of the </span>
  <span>barfight</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The night after</span>
  <span> what Andrew had done to you. </span>
  
  
</p><p>
  <span>You bit your bottom lip </span>
  <span>firmly</span>
  <span>, closed your eyes</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> and shook your head, </span>
  <span>fighting back the images that were about to take over once more.</span>
  
</p><p><span>It was Leonard’s voice, as he kept uttering reassuring words to Jim, that guided you back to the here and now. </span> <br/>
<span>He was letting his hands fly over Jim’s body while Jim continued to mumble incoherently under his touch. Wanting to be of use, you found a discarded knife laying on the floor next to you and gently began cutting Jim free of his binds.</span></p><p>
  <span>Len was examining the deep wound in his shoulder when Jim suddenly opened his eyes and looked straight through Leonard. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bones!” he cried out, his voice sounding hoarse as he tried to locate his friend.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Len saw him attempting to sit up and quickly placed a firm hand against his chest to keep him laying on his right side.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here with you, Jim,” he assured. “What do you need?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jim yanked against what was left of his restraints and managed to break through with a yelp of pain as it jostled his shoulder, but the pain was quickly forgotten or ignored.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He reached out and his hand clutched the doctor’s arm with a tight grip, knuckles turning white as he squeezed harder. </span>
  
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Bones, he’s here. </span>
  <span>Kodos</span>
  <span> is here!” There was so much panic in his voice as he started to look around the tent </span>
  <span>hauntedly</span>
  <span>. “He’s coming for me. For all of us!”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You had not seen Jim being afraid of anything before, and that fear that you saw in his gaze now touched you deeply and made your own heart ache for him.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leonard eased his arm out of Jim’s grip and placed his friend’s hand over the Captain’s heart, covering it with his own and feeling the frantic beat beneath them. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim, you’re safe now, alright</span>
  <span>?</span>
  <span> He can’t hurt you anymore. Just try to relax. Y/N, I need some towels.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It took a moment for you to break free of your trance, drawn in by the pain and terror in Jim’s typically bright and mischievous eyes. But Len’s authoritative manor helped you focus on the job at hand and see Jim as a patient rather than a suffering friend.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, towels... I’m on it.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Glancing around, you found a few clothes that could double as makeshift towels over by the </span>
  <span>boxes that were piled up at the back of the tent.</span>
  <span> You hurried over to grab them, then spotted the archaic medical tools that lined the </span>
  <span>small table you passed on your way</span>
  <span>, all designed to cause extensive pain.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You shivered at the thought of how much worse things could’ve been had you been delayed in your escape.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Refusing to dwell on it any further, you grabbed a handful of the cloths and brought them back to Len. He snatched one from the top of the pile and pressed it firmly against Jim’s bleeding shoulder.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Jim </span>
  <span>cried</span>
  <span> out in pain, then collapsed flat onto his back, </span>
  <span>writhing</span>
  <span> in an attempt to get away from the agonizing pressure, but Len stayed with him. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, kid... I know. I’m sorry I have to do this, but it’s for your own good. We’ll get you back to the ship and patched up properly in no time. Just hang in there a little longer.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You picked up another one of the cloths and began dabbing at the sweat that was beading on Jim’s forehead and dripping down his temples.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The Captain trembled and shook for another minute or so, then his struggles began to diminish and </span>
  <span>he</span>
  <span> started mumbling incoherently once more.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“I don’t think he can take much more of this,” Len admitted somberly. “We gotta find out what’s in his system and negate it as soon as possible. If only those bastards hadn’t taken my damned </span><span>medkit</span><span>...”</span> <br/>
<span>You wanted to say something to comfort him, comfort </span><em><span>both </span></em><span>men, but you could not think of anything to say that </span><span>would</span><span> make </span><span>the </span><span>situation any better. Instead, you reached out and placed your hand reassuringly on Len’s shoulder. </span></p><p>
  <span>At your touch, he looked up, and when your eyes met, you squeezed his </span>
  <span>arm</span>
  <span> lightly. He gave you a sad half-smile, then took a deep breath before looking back down at Jim.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“We have to get him mobile so we can </span><span>move</span><span> him to a safe beaming location. Where’s that green-blooded hobgoblin when you need ‘</span><span>im</span><span>?”</span> <span>When Leonard shifted his weight to have a look around the tent in search of anything he could use </span><span>as</span><span> a gurney, he cursed in pain and his hand automatically moved to his thigh.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Len, what happened to your leg?” Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>were the one sounding concerned.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’ </span>
  <span>we have to worry about now, Y/N.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  <span> You frowned at his words</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You could tell that he was in a lot of pain since he </span>
  <span>continued</span>
  <span> to clutch at the wound on his thigh. You also knew that he was too stubborn to let you have a look at it while Jim was still in such bad shape. </span>
  
</p><p><span>But it didn’t really matter, for what were you supposed to do? Len was right;</span> <span>without a </span><span>medkit</span><span> there was not much you could do down here to help. </span></p><p>
  <span>Leonard pointed at something behind you. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“See that table back there? I think that’s where they placed our communicators.” You turned around and, when you saw the table he was pointing at, you nodded. “You think you can go over there and grab one? We need to contact the Enterprise ASAP.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When you got up, you had to fight hard to stifle a painful moan. Your lower back had started to pound painfully and your wrist hadn’t liked being used to help you off the ground either. Naturally, Leonard hadn’t missed any of it.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Your ribs hurt with every breath you took, so you tried to shallow your breathing. You must have broken or at least </span>
  <span>severely</span>
  <span> bruised one of them when you had been thrown into the box in William’s tent.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You noticed the doc’s raised eyebrow and had to fight to keep from rolling your own eyes.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just some bruises, Len. I’ll be right as rain once I take a hot shower.” You smiled at him but it wasn’t very convincing</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Right</span>
  <span>…”</span>
  <span> Len </span>
  <span>drawled</span>
  <span>, equally </span>
  <span>unconvincing</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You knew Leonard was not going to let this slide. Once you were back on board the Enterprise, he’d have you admitted to </span>
  <span>Medbay</span>
  <span>, and that was not a very enjoyable prospect. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Being a doctor, you didn’t mind </span>
  <span>Medbays</span>
  <span> or hospitals, per se. You just didn’t like being stuck in there as a patient. To put an end to any further discussions </span>
  <span>on</span>
  <span> the subject, you quickly turned around and walked towards the table</span>
  <span> once more.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You</span>
  <span> did your best to ignore the torture instruments this time around, but you froze when you noticed that a few had fresh blood on them. What had that madman done to Jim and Len while you had been separated? </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart,” Len’s </span>
  <span>concerned </span>
  <span>voice reached you. “</span>
  <span>The communicators! Are they there</span>
  <span>?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You blinked a few times to recompose yourself, then reached for the device in question. When you turned around to walk back to Len, you realized that the three of you were alone in the tent. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The women must have dragged the remaining guards outside without you even noticing the chaos of the fight dying down. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With slightly shaking hands you gave the communicator to Len, making sure not to touch him and give away how rattled you really felt by all this. </span>
  
</p><p><span>“Enterprise</span><span>. Enterprise. </span><span>This is Lieutenant Commander McCoy. Come in.</span><span>” He paused and listened</span><span>, but there was nothing but</span> <span>the c</span><span>r</span><span>ackling of the </span><span>static</span><span> greeting him in response</span><span>. “Enterprise. Enterprise. This is Lieutena</span><span>nt</span><span> Co</span><span>m</span><span>mander McCoy. </span><span>Come in!”</span></p><p><span>Leonard shook his head</span> <span>and was about to put the device down when</span><span> you heard</span><span> Mr. Spock’s voice. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Dr. McCoy, </span>
  <span>this</span>
  <span> is the Enterprise. We have been trying to reach you.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, we were a </span>
  <span>li’l</span>
  <span> indisposed down here…” You noticed that Len’s accent got thicker. Normally you loved hearing him talk like this, but right now it was a sign of how exhausted he was.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There had been a most interesting change in the planet’s atmosphere that wouldn’t allow us to beam back down after we had contacted </span>
  <span>Command.</span>
  <span> I have never seen anything like</span>
  <span>-”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Spock</span>
  <span>!”</span>
  <span> Len interjected harshly. “I don’t give a crap about crazy weather </span>
  <span>phenomenon!</span>
  <span> We need an emergency beam up</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> right now!” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“For a beam up of any sort, you would have to return to the extraction point first. And even if you made it there, we would currently not be able to beam you back on board.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why the hell not?!” </span>
  <span>Leonard shouted, his frustration evident in his tone</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span> “The Captain needs urgent medical attention</span>
  <span>!”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was rustling on the other side of the connection, then the voice of Mr. Scott could be heard.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“</span><span>T</span><span>is this </span><span>goddammed</span><span> storm in </span><span>th</span><span>' atmosphere</span><span>, doctor!</span><span> Tis messing wi' m</span><span>e</span><span> sensors!</span><span> So u</span><span>nless ye </span><span>dinnae</span> <span>mynd</span><span> potentially showing up 'ere set </span><span>th'gither</span><span> in </span><span>th</span><span>' wrong order…</span><span>” </span></p><p>
  <span>Leonard rolled his eyes. “So you’re sayin’ we’re stuck down here?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Pretty much, sir. Aye.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Scotty, you need to find a way to get us out of here!”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I </span>
  <span>cuid</span>
  <span>, but even I </span>
  <span>cannae</span>
  <span> alter </span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span>' laws o' physics. I’m sorry, but we'll have </span>
  <span>ter</span>
  <span> wait fur </span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span>' storm to be over.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Leonard threw the communicator on the ground</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span> You had witnessed him losing his temper quite a few times during your residency at Starfleet medical, but the despair you saw in him now was new to you. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Jim</span>
  <span> doesn’t have time to wait!” Leonard’s voice cracked.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You both jerked your heads around. </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> had entered the tent, accompanied by two of her warriors. Without either of you noticing, they had approached</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm afraid your medicine will have no effect on your </span>
  <span>C</span>
  <span>aptain</span>
  <span> anyway</span>
  <span>.” She </span>
  <span>looked at you. “</span>
  <span>He is already beyond your help</span>
  <span>, b</span>
  <span>ut he's not beyond mine. </span>
  <span>W</span>
  <span>e don't have much time."</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And who are you?” </span>
  <span>Leonard barked at her. </span>
  
</p><p><span>“Len, this is </span><span>Siti</span><span>,” you explained.</span> <span>“</span><span>She is the </span><span>headwoman</span><span> we were supposed to meet.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> knelt down next to Jim, </span>
  <span>now</span>
  <span> looking at Leonard</span>
  <span>, instinctively understanding that she would need his permission to continue</span>
  <span>. “May I?” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Leonard nodded and </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> placed her hands on Jim’s chest. She sucked in a deep breath the moment she touched him, and an expression of shock showed on her face, but she didn’t withdraw her hands. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes and began to hum a tune, something that sounded oddly similar to what you had heard before, and you were enthralled by it right away. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A white light started to glow underneath </span>
  <span>Siti’s</span>
  <span> hands and it started to flood Jim’s entire body until he was completely engulfed by it. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In amazement, you and Leonard watched how the wounds on Jim’s torso started to close themselves almost completely and the pained expression on his face softened until he seemed to be peacefully asleep.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The moment the light started to flood Jim, you had been able to hear the music </span>
  <span>once more, and</span>
  <span> you found yourself lost in it until the room darkened again when </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> took her hands off Jim and the music faded.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What…? </span>
  <span>How…?”</span>
  <span> Len stammered in disbelieve. “I have never seen anything like it before! How did you do that?”</span>
  
</p><p><span>“It was not just me. The power of the ancestors </span><span>finds its way to </span><span>me. Together we can heal and mend, restore the natural order.</span><span>”</span> <span>Siti</span><span> gave him a wise smile</span><span>.</span></p><p>
  <span>Leonard reached out for Jim’s chest and inspected the now merely superficial cuts, content to see Jim in much less distress.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“His </span><span>mind</span><span> is guarded,”</span> <span>Siti</span><span> continued. “And there is good reason for it. I did what I could </span><span>to</span> <span>heal his body but the rest will be up to him... </span><span>He</span><span> will continue to be haunted by the shadows of his past until the drugs have left his system. Take good care of him.” </span></p><p>
  <span>“The music,” you </span>
  <span>prompted</span>
  <span>, still enchanted by the tune you had just heard. “What is </span>
  <span>it</span>
  <span>?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been hearing music again?” </span>
  <span>Leonard</span>
  <span>’s attention now shifted to you and he</span>
  <span> frowned</span>
  <span> in concern.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have heard the ancestors’ call,” </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> explained, looking at you. </span>
  <span>“You</span>
  <span> are a healer. The ancestors have invited you to stay and learn from them</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> should you wish it.”</span>
  
</p><p><span>“But… I’m a healer too, last time I checked.” Leonard almost sounded offended. “I didn’t hear any music.”</span> <br/>
<span>“That is because you have already found your way. But Y/N is still in search of her calling</span><span>.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Leonard</span>
  <span> looked from </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> to you. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a gift, Y/N. They want to teach you how to use it</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> if you want to learn.”</span>
  
</p><p><span>Your eyes widened in surprise. </span><span>The music you had heard </span><span>on this planet </span><span>had given you so much peace and</span> <span>made you feel so good that the prospect of being able to interact with the powers behind it was very tempting.</span></p><p>
  <span>But</span>
  <span> there was something else inside you, holding you back. </span>
  <span>A feeling you could not quite place yet, but </span>
  <span>you started </span>
  <span>t</span>
  <span>o shake your head</span>
  <span> slowly. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>T</span>
  <span>hank you</span>
  <span> for this kind offer.” You glanced </span>
  <span>quickly to Len before you continued. ”</span>
  <span>But I already have a great teacher</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> nodded knowingly, then reached for your right hand and held it in hers. Your wrist hurt at her touch and you grimaced in pain but didn’t pull away. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes and once more there was this wonderful music, singing one last goodbye as the white light started to shine beneath </span>
  <span>Siti’s</span>
  <span> hands. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It encompassed you and all the anxiety, the pain, and the worry you had held inside </span>
  <span>faded</span>
  <span>, and in this very moment, you were finally at peace with yourself. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When you felt the light leave, you shuddered involuntarily. </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> still held your hand in hers. “You will heal from your mental wounds as well,” she squeezed your now pain-free hand and gave you a soft smile. “You are stronger than you think.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t notice Leonard’s concerned face when he heard </span>
  <span>Siti’s</span>
  <span> words, and before he could say anything, she turned towards him and Jim once </span>
  <span>again.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have one of my women give you some herbs and a salve before you leave. You should apply it to your Captain’s wounds once he is settled for the night.” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then she </span>
  <span>shifted</span>
  <span> closer to Leonard and placed her hand on his injured leg. This time when you saw the now-familiar white light, there was no music and you couldn’t help but feel a pinch of sadness within yourself.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Apply some of the salve to your own wound too. It will help speed up the healing process.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leonard inspected his leg and was more than surprised to find the cut to his flesh had almost closed itself entirely and he</span>
  <span> too</span>
  <span> was left with only a minor, superficial injury.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Time for you to leave.” </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> got up again.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“Uh</span><span>…”</span><span> you said hesitantly. “Apparently there is a storm coming and there is no way for us to reach our ship at the moment.”</span> <br/>
<span>“I see.” </span><span>Siti</span><span> nodded. “Then you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need. I am thankful for what </span><span>you </span><span>have done here, Y/N. You saved my life, and I owe you for that.”</span></p><p><span>Leonard looked up at you in surprise. “You saved her life?”</span> <br/>
<span>“Without her, we would not have been able to take down the men. She freed my warriors, and me</span><span>,”</span> <span>Siti</span><span> explained.</span></p><p>
  <span>You felt your cheeks blush. “I just… I did what anybody would have done.” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t want to get into the details of what had happened, because that would inevitably lead to having to explain what William had done to you. And that was something you didn’t want to talk about at all. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am more than grateful for your help, Y/N.” </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> placed her hand on your forearm and squeezed it once more. “Your Captain needs to rest, and so does your other man. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Men are not allowed to spend the night within the confines of our village. I have to honor our ways and traditions and I cannot make an exception for you.” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at Len, who was still sitting on the ground next to Jim, nodding in understanding.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“Unless, of course,</span><span>” </span><span>Siti</span> <span>continued as she </span><span>turned to you, “</span><span>they are your chosen mates and you want to lay with them.”</span></p><p>
  <span>You </span>
  <span>almost choked at her words. </span>
  
</p><p><span>"Uh...</span> <span>I don't think that would be appropriate</span><span>,</span><span>”</span> <span>you</span><span> tried to explain with </span><span>a burning face.</span> <span>“</span><span>For </span><em><span>our</span></em> <span>culture</span><span>, I mean</span><span>."</span></p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have one of the man-caves outside the village be prepared for your men then. Y/N, you’re welcome to your own tent in the village.”</span>
  
</p><p><span>“No</span><span>!”</span><span> you</span> <span>practically yelled, surprised at how loud your voice sounded. “I mean, </span><span>no</span><span>, thank you, but I want to stay with my crew</span><span>.”</span></p><p><span>“It is settled then.</span><span>” </span><span>Siti</span><span> turned to leave.</span> <span>“</span><span>I’ll have some of my women </span><span>assist you in getting your </span><span>C</span><span>aptain out to the cave.</span><span>” </span></p><p>
  <span>At </span>
  <span>that</span>
  <span> moment, the entrance to the tent was pulled to the side and a group of </span>
  <span>Siti’s</span>
  <span> warriors, all covered in splatters of blood, entered the tent, dragging a man along with them. There was blood all over his face and he was barely able to stand. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t hear what they had to say. Your attention was drawn to the </span>
  <span>battered man amongst them. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>William. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Instinctively you stepped back when they came closer. </span>
  <span>All the inner calm you had experienced earlier was gone, your</span>
  <span> heart was pounding fast in your chest and you swallowed hard when you heard William groan. So he wasn’t dead, and you were not sure whether you should be relieved or not at this revelation.</span>
  
</p><p><span>When Len saw who the women had just brought in,</span> <span>he quickly looked over to you. You were staring at William and had started to walk backward. You looked so fragile and lost all of a sudden</span><span>.</span></p><p>
  <span>The</span>
  <span> light in your eyes that had started to show when you interacted with </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> earlier was completely gone, and Len felt the urge to protect you </span>
  <span>rising</span>
  <span> within him. He got up to his feet and approached you.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what </span>
  <span>William had done</span>
  <span> to you after </span>
  <span>he</span>
  <span> had taken you with him, </span>
  <span>but</span>
  <span> he had a pretty good idea of what might have happened. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Len</span>
  <span> quickly stepped next to you and put a comforting hand to the small of your back, but you shied away from his touch at once. </span>
  
</p><p><span>“Y/N,”</span> <span>Len started, but you didn’t look at him. Your eyes were still on William, and when the women left the tent with their prisoner after having talked to </span><span>Siti</span><span>, you turned towards the </span><span>headwoman</span><span>. </span></p><p>
  <span>“What</span>
  <span>...?”</span>
  <span> your mouth was dry and your voice barely audible. “What are you going to do to him?” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> looked at you now all the softness she </span>
  <span>had </span>
  <span>had in her features before was gone.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He needs to be punished for his actions– and treating a woman the way he has demands for the death sentence.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leonard looked at you and swallowed hard. He wanted to come closer, to be there for you and understand what was going on</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span> But he knew </span>
  <span>that right now </span>
  <span>he had to respect the boundaries you were setting</span>
  <span>.</span>
  <span> So he simply stood close to you, ready to step in whenever needed.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“Are you</span><span>-” You</span> <span>stopped to clear your throat</span><span>. “Are</span><span> you going to kill him?”</span></p><p>
  <span>You had seen the women work their way through the camp, bloody and violently. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing the man who had assaulted you a few hours ago made so many of the images that you had successfully pushed to the back of your head return to the front and they were threatening to overwhelm you. You didn’t want to see William ever again, but killing him was entirely another thing.</span>
  
</p><p><span>“</span><span>No. We will not. He is human, as are the others</span><span>, so our laws and ways don’t apply to them.</span> <span>I </span><span>will hand </span><span>them</span><span> over to you</span><span> once you </span><span>can</span><span> return to your ship</span><span>.</span><span> You take them with you.</span><span> As for our men, they will</span><span> be treated as our laws see fit</span><span>.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Pictures of the warriors beheading the Shura men at the cave without much ado came </span>
  <span>to you and you shuddered.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“A</span>
  <span>re you going to</span>
  <span> kill all of them?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not all of them,” </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> shook her head. </span>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>We still need some of them for procreation purposes. But we need to reestablish the natural order. </span>
  <span>You see, m</span>
  <span>ost of the worlds outside of ours</span>
  <span> are led by men, and they</span>
  <span> are built on war, pain</span>
  <span>,</span>
  <span> and cruelty. When men are in charge, bad things happen. It is </span>
  <span>a</span>
  <span> baleful</span>
  <span> pattern</span>
  <span>. And we need to make sure </span>
  <span>to break it</span>
  <span>.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Even </span>
  <span>when you have to use </span>
  <span>the same </span>
  <span>cruelty </span>
  <span>to restore your order?” Leonard cut in.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It is the only language men</span>
  <span> truly</span>
  <span> understand.”</span>
  
</p><p><span>And with that, </span><span>Siti</span><span> turned around and left you standing in the tent. </span> <br/>
<span>“Y/N, are you alright?” Len looked at you. </span></p><p>
  <span>You took a deep breath before answering</span>
  <span>, still not looking at him</span>
  <span>. “I will be.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before Len could enquire any further, the entrance to the tent was pushed to the side once more and the Shura woman you had met </span>
  <span>that</span>
  <span> morning entered.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Jelda</span>
  <span>!” You were surprised to see her again.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Y/N!</span>
  <span>” She gave you a bright smile while </span>
  <span>deliberately ignoring Leonard and Jim. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>I am to guide you to the cave. </span>
  <span>Siti</span>
  <span> tells me you want to spend the night out there too?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <span>Jelda</span>
  <span>. I do</span>
  <span>,” you nodded.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“As you wish, </span>
  <span>milady</span>
  <span>,” </span>
  <span>Jelda</span>
  <span> shook her head uncomprehendingly. “I will guide you to the cave. Tell your man to carry the sleeping one. Then follow me.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Leonard cocked an eyebrow at </span>
  <span>this, and you just shrugged your shoulders. “You think you can carry him?</span>
  <span> Is your leg okay?</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good as new,” he stomped on the ground a few times to prove it, then he started to manhandle Jim. “I have carried his drunken ass across town from all sorts of bars </span>
  <span>over</span>
  <span> the years</span>
  <span>. I</span>
  <span> think I can manage one more man-cave trip.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When you stepped outside of the tent and started following </span>
  <span>Jelda</span>
  <span> into the woods </span>
  <span>you could </span>
  <span>hear thunder rolling</span>
  <span> in the distance. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We better hurry.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Probably one or two more chapters left until the end of part two of the Alignment Series.<br/>I have already started working on part three- so much more story to tell! (Yes. Slooooooow burn. But we are getting there!!)</p><p>Can you believe I have started posting this series over a year ago now?  Time flies...<br/>I hope you enjoyed it thus far and it would be great to keep y’all on this ride with me (even when I don’t have as much time as I used to have to update more regularly... )!</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for reading and supporting me and this series!</p><p>As always- comments are greatly appreciated (and much needed 😉)!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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